Karl Stall = Mag of the yr.

**Cono Este** · 03-07-2007, 11:48 AM

Our St. Louis chapter leader has never let me down. Wether its waking boarding on the river, drinking, family events, ski porn, and some other knarlly shit i'll post about later. Karl Stall is the man.

Thank You.

**Roo** · 03-07-2007, 12:11 PM

Stand-up chap. Hot au pair.

**Cono Este** · 03-07-2007, 04:43 PM

Encore for Karl.

(and yes, she is hot)

**Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo** · 03-07-2007, 04:54 PM

The guy kills it coast to coast. He still makes appearences here on local ski movies shown on the local channels, and he doesn't even live here in Aspen anymore.

**Cono Este** · 03-07-2007, 05:03 PM

Karl, if you need a butler, I am available. Just so long as you only have a one room servants quarters.

**powstash** · 03-07-2007, 06:31 PM

Another one of the "original" maggots I have yet to meet.

**Raps** · 03-07-2007, 06:44 PM

Agreed - i have never had the pleasure of meeting the man himself but he helped me out with job stuff last year and hooked me up with a great contact.

I hope to have the chance to buy you a few rounds of beers some day soon

**Steven S. Dallas** · 03-07-2007, 06:51 PM

I've never met him, but I hear he's quite good.

**truth** · 03-07-2007, 07:24 PM

KS gives good phone.

**shmerham** · 03-07-2007, 07:43 PM

When I met him, I hadn't met very many mags. Here was this well-respected member of the community and kick-ass skier and he made me, a young insecure newbie feel extremely welcome. Big ups for that.

**upallnight** · 03-07-2007, 08:41 PM

karl hooked me up with a pair of skis that i was able to resurrect & love...and he never sent me his mailing addy for payment (i've still got it for you, karl!!!).

thank you -- they've seen a bunch of love/great days this season!

**Daywalker** · 03-07-2007, 08:43 PM

Can't say that I've met the man but back when I was new to this board and the whole forum game he extended a warm welcome and invitation that I never took him up on. Recalling that, I feel like a schmuck.

Whose up for a St. Louis Mags summit? Cono Este are you in the area too?

**Arty50** · 03-07-2007, 09:20 PM

Karl's so famous, they erected a statue for him in Philly.

Seriously though, I've only met the man once and all I can say is that it was much too brief. Top notch guy.

**str8line** · 03-07-2007, 10:49 PM

Yup, good shit.

Spekin of the Karlster, I never saw a TR on his B.C. cat trip. Was there one?

**Crinkle** · 03-07-2007, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by Arty50

Karl's so famous, he had his way with an erect statue in philly.

no shit??

KS is solid, every line is a zinger.

**lost** · 03-07-2007, 10:56 PM

Originally Posted by str8line

Yup, good shit.

Spekin of the Karlster, I never saw a TR on his B.C. cat trip. Was there one?

I heard those guys are killing it and have a bunch of hot chicks with them, at least that is the word around fernie

**marshalolson** · 03-07-2007, 10:56 PM

karl = good peeps. right on brother...

**freshie247** · 03-07-2007, 11:33 PM

Definitely a good guy!

**Odin** · 03-07-2007, 11:51 PM

Karl Stall, Neil Diamond and Billy Baldwin were once taking a boat trip through a swamp. Neil and Billy fell into the water and Karl jumped in pulling both out before he began wrestling the aligators, just for fun. He then drank two kegs of beer, did 48 push ups and saved an entire girl scout troup from a burning building.

He put out that burning building with his urine and the building contracts used strands of his hair as rebar when rebuilding.

TO Karl Stall!

**Karl Stall** · 03-09-2007, 06:44 AM

Wow - really kind sentiments - that certainly made what was a sweet day yesterday even better.

Thank you Cono Este and everyone!

As for Island Lake, I had a pic on their website yesterday - I'll try to link it - more pics from home

**Mcwop** · 03-09-2007, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by Karl Stall

Wow - really kind sentiments - that certainly made what was a sweet day yesterday even better.

Thank you Cono Este and everyone!

As for Island Lake, I had a pic on their website yesterday - I'll try to link it - more pics from home

Why did I buy a house and not go on this trip? I will ponder that one all day, and weekend as I conduct house rehab duties.

**truth** · 03-09-2007, 10:21 AM

You shoulda kept your red pants. Then you'd have had a full suit. Even then it wouldn't be a pool suit so maybe not so much. Either way, congrats on the whole "mag of the year" thing.

**Tap** · 03-09-2007, 10:55 AM

I'm not sure anyone has heard this one, but it's such a testament to Karl's heart and courage that I have to tell it.....

Last year, while wakeboarding, Karl looked up after landding a giant Superman and noticed, across the river and on the bank, a bus heading on direct approach toward an elderly grandmother who was crossing the street but was too blind and deaf to hear the oncoming danger.

Contrary to his current skiing passion, but in a nod to his days of shred, Karl banked a huge heelside carve, crossing the 3 foot wake at roughly 60 miles per hour and launching himself into the air headfirst, and toward the deadly intersection of grandmother and bus.

Rotating his lower body underneath himself in preperation for landing, he flew over the bank at about 40 feet over the ground. The bus was getting closer and closer to grandma and the driver had been honking the horn vigorously for 30 seconds or so. You have to realize how fast this all happened.

Karl descended over the grassy bank, landed his wakeboard on the concrete, and began to slide toward the crosswalk. With the bus only meters from impact, Karl's momentum carried him most gently into the soon-to-be-plastered senior citizen, where he grabbed her shuffling body in a warm bear hug and picked her off her feet, carrying her out of harms way and into the safety of the sidewalk.

The whoosh of Karl's passing was engulfed by speeding metal, dust, and the terrified face of the bus driver, who looked as if was about cream his own mother with the massive public transport vehicle.

It was over before it started, and as the bus passed and the dust settled, the old woman looked up into the tall, bronzed face of her savior, Karl Stall. Still wet from the river and clad in only surf shorts, our young muscled hero gazed down into her cloudy eyes with the compassion of a bohdisattva. She quivered, gazing into his eyes, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Her dry lips parted, as she whispered out the first thing that came to her mind......"Change for a nickel, sonny?"

"Certainly, ma'am. Happy to help", replied Karl.

Need I say more?

**truth** · 03-09-2007, 11:01 AM

What tap's not telling you is the background to his tale...

It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Karl Stall, woke up in a haunted thicket. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly relieved, Karl Stall deflowered a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before anyone could take off their pants, he realized that his beloved diary was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, Theo . Karl Stall had known Theo for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were saucy ones. Theo was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... pestering. Karl Stall called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Theo picked up to a very glad Karl Stall. Theo calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies panic before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually indiscriminately yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Karll. Why was Theo trying to distract Karl Stall? Because he had snuck out from Karls with the diary only ten days prior. It was an electric little diary... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Karl Stall got back to the subject at hand: his diary. Theo turned red. Reluctantly, Theo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the diary. Karl Stall grabbed his hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Theo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the diary and he had to do it thoughtfully. He figured that if Karl took the spaceship, he'd take at least three minutes before Karl would get there. But if he took the skis? Then Theo would be excessively screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Theo was interrupted by six stupid Care Bears that were lured by his diary. Theo sneezed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling pleased, he thoughtfully reached for his dull pencil and aimlessly stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the skis rolling up. It was Karl Stall.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Karl was out of the skis and went sassily jaunting toward Theo 's front door. Meanwhile inside, Theo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the diary into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Theo was relieved but at least the diary was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Theo charismatically purred. With a skillful push, he opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish beer-sloshed tool in a tricycle,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Theo assured him. Karl Stall took a seat about two saucy furlongs from where Theo had hidden the diary. Theo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Karl Stall was distracted. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, Theo noticed a annoying look on Karl Stall's face. Karl Stall slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Theo felt a stabbing pain in his fingernail when Karl Stall asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the diary right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Karl Stall's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dangerous oil-soaked rags from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Karl Stall nodded with fake acknowledgment...then, before Theo could react, Karl Stall carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The diary was plainly in view.

Karl Stall stared at Theo for what what must've been eight seconds. Before anyone could take off their pants, Theo groped surreptitiously in Karl Stall's direction, clearly desperate. Karl Stall grabbed the diary and bolted for the door. It was locked. Theo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Karl Stall,' he rebuked. Theo always had been a little abrasive, so Karl Stall knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Theo did something crazy, like... start chucking bananas at him or something. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he gripped his diary tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Theo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Karl Stall. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame nine days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Karl Stall. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Theo walked over to the window and looked down. Karl Stall was gone.

Just yonder, Karl Stall was struggling to make his way through the imaginary desert behind Theo 's place. Karl Stall had severely hurt his fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Care Bears suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the diary. One by one they latched on to Karl Stall. Already weakened from his injury, Karl Stall yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Care Bears running off with his diary.

But then God came down with His outgoing smile and restored Karl Stall's diary. Feeling worried, God smote the Care Bears for their injustice. Then He got in His tricycle and jettisoned away with the fortitude of 153 venomous koalas running from a teensy pack of albino cats. Karl Stall danced with joy when he saw this. His diary was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, Golden Girls, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When disease-carrying chipmunks meet malaria'). Karl Stall was thrilled. And so, everyone except Theo and a few unborn fetus-toting legless puppies lived blissfully happy, forever after.