TR: Alta, Snowbasin and how phUnk almost scored a first descent down LCC road...

Before I get into the details I need to say a huge thanks to all the Utards with special thanks to Mr & Mrs phUnk, Flykdog, Frozenwater and MacDaddy...you all rock and I love all of ya!


1/2/04

Finally free from the confines of the office at 4:00 I race home to pack it up and catch a 6:45 to SLC. A quick check of the flight reveals a solid 2 hour delay and I grab a bonus shower and the luxury of going over the gear one last time. Traffic to O'Hare is a nightmare and I could care lees for the first time ever I'm way ahead of schedule. I ring phUnk on the cel and find him stuffing the phone under his helmet somewhere on the hill at Alta hiking for a few after-hours hits. Plans are confirmed and he hangs up in order to hit the lip for some sort of butter indy kick flip with a twist of lemon.

Dragging gear through an airport is always a hoot, but even more so with "High Alert" status and a cel phone that won't stop ringing. While I enjoy the vibrations of maggot love in my pocket the timing is less than perfect. Karl Stall rings as I'm getting the boarding pass to tell me how Aspen is getting pounded @ 2" per hour and he and shredhead have been logging 30,000 plus vert a day. Frozenwater chimes me as the phone is in the X-ray and tweedle dee is kind enough to pluck it out for me to answer. FH2O offers up digs and a ride (thanks mate) although I'm already covered. Plans for a Wildcat lineup and Frozen's "get back on the horse day" are solidified and I cut him off in order to prevent tweedle dumb from ripping apart my camera bag. My offer to help is not received kindly and I am allowed to get the magic wand shoe and belt removal treatment from the dynamic security duo.

Finally dressed and cleared for flight I hustle down toward gate L7 only to get sucked into the Mc D's in the wall and a few pounds of lard later I'm in a fatter place wrapped in the naugahide smooveness staring out into the fog as my pocket again vibes with maggot stoke. Hev is on the line singing the gospel of a phat Soli friday. He balked at the closed LCC lineup and hit BCC to score deepness all day. He was hooked up with Bum Z for a crash pad and we added another maggot to the saturday Alta roll call. I have an hour to spare before the flight so I begin to jot down notes for this TR as it's already getting tough to keep a tally of the story and I have not made a post in over 2 hours....must....feed...the...addiction!

After 2 pages of what is supposed to be the english language is scratched out into a shitty airport bookstore notebook I glance at my watch...8:15. Hmmmm....WTF? I have yet to hear anything about my flight and it's time is now. I gather my nest of crap and head to the counter to get some answers. My stomach drops to the floor as I realize just how dumb I can be. I'm at L3 while my flight is at L7. I run to the gate to find the flight board reading Los Angeles!!! Oh fuck! Internal freak out of maximum order ensues before I read the fine print and walk on to my flight as the gate is being closed for take off and slide into my seat ...damn that was close!

Finally airborne the flat paved hell that is bathed in a surreal 67 degree fog gives way to the flat brown hell that separates me from the mountains the feed my soul. Pushing west into the surging jet stream the clouds are sheared into thin ribbons by the winds that blasted the Wasatch the night before. Everything is coming together.

Arriving in SLC around midnight I find casa de phUnk around 1 am. All is quiet and there is a cute little note from phUnk taped to the door the details of which I will leave to your imagination (though there was a promise of a dinner a movie). As I try and slip into the house without waking the dead the dogs are the first to greet me and we get along smashingly. They sniff, I pet and all is right with the world.

As I begin to bring in the essentials phUnk's better half sleepily emerges from the second floor to give me the change for a nickel tour. Bathroom check, futon check, superhero comic pillowcase specially picked out for me by phUnk...check. I'm settling in and about to slip into something a bit more comfortable when none other than Altachic appears at the doorway with a "wassup". An early wake up is agreed to and I'm off to dreamland



To be continued ...

.... can't wait ...

Speaking of skiing down LCC road, whatever happened to those days? I used to see alot of people doing it as a kid but I dont remember seeing anyone ski all the way down the road since the late 60s and early 70s. Has it become illegal just like tons of other fun things?

first off huge props to the utah collective for being so fun and charging it hard. snow was great but you all made the trip.

new years eve 2003
careening down i80 listening to audiobooks and pounding redbulls I was amped for my storm chasing mission. The clock struk midnight just as I crossed the utah border and a whispy snow was starting to fall. Before long the snow was driving hard and the visibility reduced and I was forced to proceed at a slow pace for the rememainig stretch.

my plan was no plan, and as I pulled into SLC at 2am I decided the smart move was to head up LCC and crash in the car. I found a pull off with some other cars and hunkered down in my sleeping bag. A few restless hours later and I decide to head over to the lodge and see if I could get a cup of coffee and a warm breakfast; I felt like a zombie at this point, and some greasy eggs and coffee really hit the spot. The wind whipped outside but my spirits were high.

2004 breaks wind
I bundled up and got in the lineup. I scanned the crowd, and had a good hunch that i saw some maggots. sure enough altagirl and mr altagirl were in the line up true to form. unfortunately the wind was screwing everything up and the lift wasn't going to open for at least another half hour. we all shot the shit about skiing, riding and what to expect. unfortunately the skiing was kind of a bust new years day. high winds kept the mountan closed mostly and visibilty was extremely poor. lots of mags were showing up, but high winds and cold temps discouraged the hungover crowd. I hung in there for a few runs down "the ho" before they decided to close wildcat. oh well. at least I had hooked up a place to crash. I cruised down with canyon and got some much needed sleep.

just me myself and 20" of fresh
we were up early pouring avie and wheather reports trying to decide what to do. LCC was gonna be closed 'til 10 at least so I decided I couldn't wait and was gonna head up BCC instead for a solitude day. good choice. deep untouched snow everywhere to share it with except my mp3 player :D. it was literally as much pow skiing as I could handle. in the afternoon, i rode up with a cool local (eric) and he showed me the goods in honeycomb. best day of the trip. limitless faceshots and a few good airs.

juice crew law!
next day found me again in the wildcat lineup with a huge posse of maggots forming. i was trying to come up with a list of people i met and most were here this day, in no particular order, BumZ, Xover, Dan the Man, phUnk, telephil, truth, frozenwater, altagirl, mr altagirl, altachic, UTDave, macDaddy, natty dread,...they're may well have been more, but thats all i can remember right now. of course the group broke up and i ended up in the rockstar posse of phUnk, dan the man, and telephil - these guys shred HARD. i felt a bit intimitaed especially coming off an injury but was able to hang none the less and found great lines. the day ended with beers and football at goldmniers with ag, mr ag and telephil. good times all around.

sunday was my last day and i got up to alta early again for only a half day. 3rd chair but no mags when i got on the lift. hit the backside when it opened and lapped it a few times before hitting the road(no ballroom for me :(). all in all an excellent trip with a great crew!. can't wait to get back.

cant wait to get both ya back here when I am not so busy & we can explore somehttp://www.skisolitude.com/downloads...l-range_hr.jpg

1/3/04

7:45 am and Altachic pokes her head in the door frantically trying to rally the troops as hopes of the 8:30 Wildcat lineup are vaporizing quickly. The next 45 minutes are a blur as gear is assembled, layers added and Mrs phUnk confirms her status as a patron saint of wayward maggots by feeding a copious and rapid dose of pancakes to Altachic, phUnk, DanTheMan and myself.

AC and DTM loading the rental at the Chalet de phUnkdoll
http://www.biglines.com/photos/blpic16881.jpg

LCC - Cold, windy and snowing @ Alta and as we scramble to get geared up in the lot Telephil pulls in next to us. Baptism by fire is the name of the game and before I know WTF is going on I'm thanking god that X-over is not behind me on a flat light rutted out run of the high T on our way to "Jitterbug". These are my first "real" turns of the season on an ACL I opted not to surgically repair and the flat light and dust on crust have me feeling like gaper stu on a bucking bronco. Glad to be back in the Wildcat maze with all parts intact, we are greeted by Frozenwater, Hev and MacDaddy and plot a new course to "Westward Ho". By the time we all regroup up top the posse has swollen to 10 or more and it's game on. The trees add the needed contrast and prove to be holding knee deep leftover Alta fluff. Lines are slashed, meat is hucked and more than one rock-star backflips with abandon. As Frozen, MacD and I board WC the signs are flipped opening Catherine's and when we deliver the news up top the posse charges on.

Eyeing the hike up to Catherine's I realize there is no way my sea level lungs can make the march. Frozen graciously agrees to join me on a more gravity assisted line. As the posse head up we drop in and pick our way into some tight rock-lined fun below the Catherine's traverse. I make 3 turns in virgin snow through the crux and as I open it up into the apron my uphill ski is snagged in a submerged branch and is ripped from my boot. Over the bars and through the snow I cartwheel, ending up a good 30 feet below my ski which is still lodged in the branch exactly where I left it. As I begin to swim upstream for it Frozen appears and with a well placed turn grabs it and sends it to me. We milk every last bit of fluff and meet the posse back at the lift. My heart rate is pegged at 170 and the air is not reaching my blood fast enough. Frozen and MacD agree to babysit the gaper and we set a 2:00 meeting time at Goldminer's Daughter. The rest of the day follows suit as we mine the last bits of creamy white goodness and I gasp for air. The cold is brutal and the 2:00 bell does not come soon enough for some. As frozen and I enter GMD phUnk, DTM and Telephill are sitting with an empty plate of nachos and a pitcher that once contained Cut Throat Ale. The Altagirls are in da house and after a quick hello more beer and nachos are bought and consumed. Stories are told, good times are had and I bask in the good maggot vibes that only Alta can provide.

Returning to the truck there is 6" of snow covering it and a nasty wind-lip cornice overhanging the windshield. With the safety of the group in mind I take a risk and glove cut the cornice triggering an epic slide that ran all the way to the hood. I clear the debris and we safely load the brand new Explorer dollar has foolishly rented to me for $40 a day. The march of the ants ensues as we enter the 3 mph train down the canyon. Growing restless phUnk begins to spout off about how he can ski down the two foot wide shoulder faster than we can drive it. Talking smack about jibbing this and bonking that DTM and I call his bluff and he gears up. 3-2-1 stopping...phUnk leaps from the still rolling truck (my bad...ooops!) and smoovely retrieves skis and poles form the hatch as the traffic begins to pile up behind us. The door slams and I roll on. We watch as phUnk clicks in to the amusement of passing traffic. As phUnk fades further and further back DTM and I look on with much glee as phUnk poles his way down LCC. Having seriously miscalculated his choice of wax, the coefficient of friction of the asphalt and the flatness of the road are winning and he is fading rapidly from view. A photo op is attempted but phUnk's massive arms are no match for the burly line he has chosen to descend. Hearing his distant cries for help a rescue plan is quickly formulated and I flip a bitch on LCC to head back up to get him before the sheriff arrives and starts sniffing the pitchers of ale we surely reek of.

Have you ever pulled a u-turn on LCC in saturday evening rush hour with the road snow-packed? Well neither had I and as DTM offered up a pearl of wisdom, "Just don't get stuck..." I miss the shift into reverse (damn automatic trans) and slide in neutral dropping the right front into the uber soft and deep shoulder. Slamming into drive I gun it and proceed to pull both right hand side wheels into the ditch. More gas pulls us deeper into the drift. Finally phUnk arrives and with much laughter swings the door through the snowbank. The reality sets in and the thought of explaining the situation to the sheriff inspires me to thrash the shit out of that truck in 4 low and with much sawing at the wheel I finesse the beast from the grasp of the shoulder. Now all that is left is to flip another U-turn and barge my way back into downhill traffic. Finally headed back down canyon DTM and I can focus on laughing at phUnk's failed attempt at adding a route to the "Chuting Gallery". Clever little monkey that he is phUnk attempts with great success to divert our abusive attention by wagering that there is a crock pot of homemade chili awaiting our return to the chalet de phUnkdoll.

As if the pancakes were not enough to enter her in the maggot hall of fame, Mrs phUnk has not only a delicious pot of chili for us but homemade hummus and cornbread to boot to boot. DTM passes out with a slog back to Cali awaiting him in the morning and with a full belly I bid farewell to these gracious hosts and hit the road. I'm Ogden bound and heading for Flykdog's crib to reap the bounty of Snowbasin.

To be continued...

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Originally posted by hev
next day found me again in the wildcat lineup with a huge posse of maggots forming. i was trying to come up with a list of people i met and most were here this day, in no particular order, BumZ, Xover, Dan the Man, phUnk, telephil, truth, frozenwater, altagirl, mr altagirl, altachic, UTDave, macDaddy, natty dread,...they're may well have been more, but thats all i can remember right now.

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I must be blind. Where you guys the group in the front right of the maze? Then again the only person I would have recognized in slut gear would have been phunk, and we all know how hard it is to pick out the little people in the crowd:p .

Speaking of which, is there a maggot that wears a yellow Arcteryx Sidewinder and beige pants?

I coulda been a contenda.

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Originally posted by truth
1/3/04 Clever little monkey that he is phUnk

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Better hope phUnky mOnkey doesn't take umbrage to that comment. It got Howie Cosell tossed from the Monday Night Football booth a few decades ago.:p

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7:45 am and Altachic pokes her head in the door frantically trying to rally the troops as hopes of the 8:30 Wildcat lineup

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Does anyone else think that sounds hot?

Thumbs up for good reporting.

SaAaH,
d.

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Originally posted by gincognito
SaAaH,
d.

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No GC tag-line? Didn't have your coffee yet, eh? ;)

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Returning to the truck there is 6" of snow covering it and a nasty wind-lip cornice overhanging the windshield. with the safety of the group in mind I take a risk and glove cut the cornice triggering an epic slide that ran all the way to the hood.

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:D :D :D :D

You don't know how relieved I am to hear that Truth is NOT a superfit hiking machine about to reduce me to a mass of quivering jelly in La Grave.

Way to get after it. Oh and phUnk - I got a fever and the only prescription is more towrope. ;)

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Originally posted by Mountain Junkie

Speaking of which, is there a maggot that wears a yellow Arcteryx Sidewinder and beige pants?

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if you heard someone (yours truly) yelling profanities at him in a bad quebecois accent it was possibly powpow--skis on woody igneous most of the time.

phUnk fading in the rearview...classic.

nice report, keep it up.

sweet report truth. glad you made it here for a couple days.
sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.
Can't wait to see you again for the mini!
kisses,
L

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Originally posted by altachic

sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.

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SLOOOOOW PITCH....

That's some risky verbiage in these waters AC. Twas cool to rip a few gaperiffic turns with ya for sure. Can't wait to get back out and do it again.

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Originally posted by truth
SLOOOOOW PITCH....

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heh, thought the exact same thing when I read that.

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Originally posted by altachic

sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.

L

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ya beat me to it T...

edit-and Ice!!!!

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Originally posted by Lumpy
ya beat me to it DTM...

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I think it's more accurate now...;)

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Originally posted by truth
I think it's more accurate now...;)

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More hijinks in the high country, eh?

Truth nice report but where are the pics? Us mere mortals need to see the fluffy white stuff,Got live other peoples experiences!!:cool:

I see the "delete post" function still works.

Ice...discretion is the....ah nevermind.

Helicrack...it was so frickin cold I only busted out 3 pics the whole trip. Had no desire to deal with frozen digits.

truth man, nice report.

i flew out friday also and my plane came from chicago - fackin 4 hours late!! :mad: i knew you were probably having some troubles getting outta the flats too.

after a white knuckle drive over loveland and vail pass, my first turns of the year were kinda heavy knee deep runs at vail. i know exactly what you mean about the legs....mine still feel it today.

count me in on the next LCC assault will ya? :D

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Originally posted by xboat


count me in on the next LCC assault will ya? :D

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Will do, it's the mini. You gonna be there?

man, i want to for sure but i have just enough vacation to do the tahoe summit. after this past trip though it made me realize that i can't rip very many consecutive days in a row. it kicked my ass and i tweaked my somewhat good knee at copper on sunday going from pow to catrack and getting back on my skis. :mad:
it felt like things just stretched and hurt for a couple minutes. no swelling and no pain afterwards. skied a couple more runs even, but now it just feels kinda unstable.

maybe a weekend kinda thing, we'll see??? i've been looking forward to getting back to snowbasin as much as anything. what did you think of that place?

1/4/04

Flykdog is on point and we are out the door on time to meet Meats of Evil, Lumpy and Buzzworthy at Snowbasin as planned. Damn this place is dope, a veritable Taj mahal of skiing infrastructure. Granite, Marble and a heated deck outside the main lodge combined with Gondolas and plush interiors that sit virtually unused waiting for someone to build condo's and a hotel create a local's paradise for sure.

MOE, Flykdog & Lumpy prior to boarding the gondy.
http://www.biglines.com/photos/blpic16882.jpg

It's snowing lightly at SB but the real story is again the wind and the cold. The upper mountain is getting blasted and is socked in the clouds. Vis is less than desireable and only gets worse as we ride the gondy higher. Through the fog I catch glimpses of the potential this place holds but sun has hit much of the terrain leaving a truly variable mix to the snow pack. Our first run leaves us all in agreement that the trees are the place to be if we want to do anything other than ski by braille.

My tour guides devise a plan and we work the Grizzly trees for nice stashes of knee deep fluff that the wind has kindly deposited in select hiding places. With a bit of traversing and duck walking we session a ridge over and over finding nice slots to play in all morning. These are followed by uber high speed blasts down the groomers to the gondy which Buzz is working triple overtime to rename the gonjy. repeated laps allow for a good study of Boss Hog and all I can say is DAMN! That thing is burly. The pics and video do not do her justice. The landing zone is way tighter than it appears on a monitor and the distance to clear the cat track is not to be trifled with. Respect level for those that have hucked meat there is raised a few notches higher in my book. Compared to my performance at Alta it's night and day. For one thing I can breath, which is nice. A good nights rest does wonders for the altitude adjustment and any lingering doubts about the strength of my ACL have faded into the fog. I'm stoked and having a blast knowing that all systems are go for the euro mini that is rapidly approaching.

The cold starts to wear on us and we vote for a nice long luxurious lunch at the the palace at the top of the gondy. This is 5 star stuff. The building is a soaring log cathedral with plush carpeting, a massive 4 sided fireplace, and leather arm chairs surround huge solid wood tables that belong in the finest eateries rather than a ski cafeteria. Even the food service area is decked out in brass rail and granite counters. $6.00 gets you a massive slice of pizza that is 1/4 of a pie and the crew does some serious grubbing. Between the gondy rides and this leisurely lunch there is plenty of time to get to know these maggots a bit and that is pretty cool. It's amazing the variety of stories, ages and walks of life we all have come from to arrive at this time and place in a shared vision of heaven and my faith in the maggot collective is once again kicked up a notch. Good peeps the lot of em and I'm honored to be the recipient of yet more maggot hospitality.

Emerging from the plush digs we are blasted with winds that are gaining strength and temps that seem to be dropping. The upside is that the sun is trying to poke through the fog and we decide to venture up higher to Lone Pine chute. The slog up the ridge is a lesson in sandblasting and by the time I gain the saddle I'm really fucking cold. Fingers are painfully numb and as we drop in one by one Flykdog informs me that my nose is looking rather white. Time to get the fuck off the top. My first turns find the top half of the chute holding deep crud with some rocks poking through what prior to "the storm" was a spine that divided it into two gullies. Lone Pine is about 1000 feet of perfect 50 degree pitch, and with untracked knee deep would be a 10 turn autobahn. Halfway down the snow is more fluff than crud and a quick cut to skiers right below the last of the rock walls yields the best turns of the trip in knee deep wind deposited super hero butter. We follow the wind buff for even more quality turns and all too soon we are out of the maelstrom and atop the grizzly ridge which is now a very familiar playground. It's nice to feel confident in the geography and we all rip off some of the most aggressive skiing of the day.

A few more runs and it's beer thirty down at the base lodge where even MOE is allowed to enjoy a cookie while we sample some liquid pleasures. While Lumpy and Buzz drool over a cougar here with her gaper man I begin the process of dreading my trip home. There is a storm brewing in the midwest and my flight plans are putrid even if all goes according to plan. The only trip home I could get had me leaving SLC at 8 pm and in Kansas City with a layover from midnight until 6 am, at which point I would catch a short hop into Chicago and head directly to work. After grabbing a shower at Flyk's I head out early to SLC in hopes of finding a more pleasant route home. No dice. The midwest is under siege and I'm lucky to be on any flight at all as cancelled flights are beginning to mount. First flight is delayed an hour and I arrive in KC to find the airport a ghost town. There are no airline employees in the entire building as the place was shut down with an ice storm. To make matters worse the airport consists of three terminals that require a bus ride to get from one to another. I grab a bus from A to C and look for somewhere to get a bottle of water if not some food. Not gonna happen. Nothing is open and I ask a wandering cop where I might be able to procure some sort of nourishment. He tells me the only prayer is a bagel shop in terminal B. A 30 minute wait for another bus and I'm in terminal B.

A bagel and a bottle of water now in my possession and I'm looking for somewhere to hang for the night. I opt to remain near the food source and start to seek a seating area to pass out in. No dice. Seems the place was built just prior to 9/11 and in order to secure the gates all the waiting areas have been surrounded in 10 foot tall glass walls the doors of which are locked once the last flight is gone. There are no seats, chairs benches or even a carpeted floor on which to rest. I find a corner and curl up on the terrazzo, my back pack the lone source of comfort for the next three hours.

Having set my phone to wake me @ 4 am so I could grab a bus to terminal C to check in for my flight I arrive before anyone including any airline employees. I spy the United E-ticket kiosks that are pleasantly broadcasting that they will come on-line at 4:30. The magic hour arrives and I slide the CC into the slot and try to get my ticket. Up comes my reservation on the 6:30 to Chicago followed rapidly by a standby re-reservation on the 1:30 pm flight. WTF?!@#%^^&#! I decline the ticket and park my ass in the front of the line to deal with a real person.

Actual human airline employees don't even show up unitl 5:30 and I question the first arrival as to what the deal is. The alternative lifestyle gentleman quickly lisps off that the flight is cancelled and that I'm lucky to be standby on the 1:30. WTF!@##!@# He disappears into the bowels of the airport and it's another 45 minutes before an all to disheveled yet perky woman emerges and directs me to use a kiosk which I ever so politely decline. Informing her of my experience in KC up to this point she pulls up my info and hands me a ticket on the 6:30 am flight! WTF!@#@#@# whatever, I'm glad to be on my way. Arriving in Chicago just after 8 am I am worked.

The thought of going to work is in stark contrast to the vision of my GF all snug in her bed with the day off. I phone the office and inform them that, sadly, I'm stuck in KC until at least 1:30 pm. They are not surprised as there was 6 inches of snow in Chicago and temps are hovering around 0 degrees F. Sneaking into my GF's I wake her with a grimy hug, grab a shower and slip into bed between her and Taylor, her 160# mastiff. Life is good and all is right with the world.

To all the Utards, another huge thanks. If you have yet to partake in the maggot network of hospitality I urge you to do so, it's a beautiful thing.

Excellent report from start to finish Truth...look forward to your next visit out here! Stop at the Shooting STar is in order during the mini.

good sheet mang!

you really like showers.

see you in slc.

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Originally posted by tuffy109
you really like showers.

see you in slc.

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Yeah...I guess my secrets out now.;)

The mini is gonna be a blast.

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Originally posted by truth


The mini is gonna be a blast.

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yes...yes it is.

Quote:

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Originally posted by truth

The mini is gonna be a blast.

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OH YEAH!!!!

Excellent TR as usual!! Glad to be able to make some turns with ya and grab a cold one.

See ya in less than a month!!

Killer write up, can't wait to make more turns with you at the mini.

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Originally posted by tuffy109
you really like showers.

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What is this 'shower' of which you speak?

DTM, Buzz, Lumpy...no doubt fellas. Can't wait to hang with you folks again.

Roo...I think they are something like an upside down bidet. Does that help?

:D

Kinda odd reading about the ex...but still cool.

Thanks mang.