TR: Alta, Snowbasin and how phUnk almost scored a first descent down LCC road...

**truth** · 01-06-2004, 12:00 AM

Before I get into the details I need to say a huge thanks to all the Utards with special thanks to Mr & Mrs phUnk, Flykdog, Frozenwater and MacDaddy...you all rock and I love all of ya!

1/2/04

Finally free from the confines of the office at 4:00 I race home to pack it up and catch a 6:45 to SLC. A quick check of the flight reveals a solid 2 hour delay and I grab a bonus shower and the luxury of going over the gear one last time. Traffic to O'Hare is a nightmare and I could care lees for the first time ever I'm way ahead of schedule. I ring phUnk on the cel and find him stuffing the phone under his helmet somewhere on the hill at Alta hiking for a few after-hours hits. Plans are confirmed and he hangs up in order to hit the lip for some sort of butter indy kick flip with a twist of lemon.

Dragging gear through an airport is always a hoot, but even more so with "High Alert" status and a cel phone that won't stop ringing. While I enjoy the vibrations of maggot love in my pocket the timing is less than perfect. Karl Stall rings as I'm getting the boarding pass to tell me how Aspen is getting pounded @ 2" per hour and he and shredhead have been logging 30,000 plus vert a day. Frozenwater chimes me as the phone is in the X-ray and tweedle dee is kind enough to pluck it out for me to answer. FH2O offers up digs and a ride (thanks mate) although I'm already covered. Plans for a Wildcat lineup and Frozen's "get back on the horse day" are solidified and I cut him off in order to prevent tweedle dumb from ripping apart my camera bag. My offer to help is not received kindly and I am allowed to get the magic wand shoe and belt removal treatment from the dynamic security duo.

Finally dressed and cleared for flight I hustle down toward gate L7 only to get sucked into the Mc D's in the wall and a few pounds of lard later I'm in a fatter place wrapped in the naugahide smooveness staring out into the fog as my pocket again vibes with maggot stoke. Hev is on the line singing the gospel of a phat Soli friday. He balked at the closed LCC lineup and hit BCC to score deepness all day. He was hooked up with Bum Z for a crash pad and we added another maggot to the saturday Alta roll call. I have an hour to spare before the flight so I begin to jot down notes for this TR as it's already getting tough to keep a tally of the story and I have not made a post in over 2 hours....must....feed...the...addiction!

After 2 pages of what is supposed to be the english language is scratched out into a shitty airport bookstore notebook I glance at my watch...8:15. Hmmmm....WTF? I have yet to hear anything about my flight and it's time is now. I gather my nest of crap and head to the counter to get some answers. My stomach drops to the floor as I realize just how dumb I can be. I'm at L3 while my flight is at L7. I run to the gate to find the flight board reading Los Angeles!!! Oh fuck! Internal freak out of maximum order ensues before I read the fine print and walk on to my flight as the gate is being closed for take off and slide into my seat ...damn that was close!

Finally airborne the flat paved hell that is bathed in a surreal 67 degree fog gives way to the flat brown hell that separates me from the mountains the feed my soul. Pushing west into the surging jet stream the clouds are sheared into thin ribbons by the winds that blasted the Wasatch the night before. Everything is coming together.

Arriving in SLC around midnight I find casa de phUnk around 1 am. All is quiet and there is a cute little note from phUnk taped to the door the details of which I will leave to your imagination (though there was a promise of a dinner a movie). As I try and slip into the house without waking the dead the dogs are the first to greet me and we get along smashingly. They sniff, I pet and all is right with the world.

As I begin to bring in the essentials phUnk's better half sleepily emerges from the second floor to give me the change for a nickel tour. Bathroom check, futon check, superhero comic pillowcase specially picked out for me by phUnk...check. I'm settling in and about to slip into something a bit more comfortable when none other than Altachic appears at the doorway with a "wassup". An early wake up is agreed to and I'm off to dreamland

To be continued ...

**Xover** · 01-06-2004, 07:49 AM

.... can't wait ...

**ColdSmoke** · 01-06-2004, 09:03 AM

Speaking of skiing down LCC road, whatever happened to those days? I used to see alot of people doing it as a kid but I dont remember seeing anyone ski all the way down the road since the late 60s and early 70s. Has it become illegal just like tons of other fun things?

**hev** · 01-06-2004, 03:39 PM

first off huge props to the utah collective for being so fun and charging it hard. snow was great but you all made the trip.

new years eve 2003
careening down i80 listening to audiobooks and pounding redbulls I was amped for my storm chasing mission. The clock struk midnight just as I crossed the utah border and a whispy snow was starting to fall. Before long the snow was driving hard and the visibility reduced and I was forced to proceed at a slow pace for the rememainig stretch.

my plan was no plan, and as I pulled into SLC at 2am I decided the smart move was to head up LCC and crash in the car. I found a pull off with some other cars and hunkered down in my sleeping bag. A few restless hours later and I decide to head over to the lodge and see if I could get a cup of coffee and a warm breakfast; I felt like a zombie at this point, and some greasy eggs and coffee really hit the spot. The wind whipped outside but my spirits were high.

2004 breaks wind
I bundled up and got in the lineup. I scanned the crowd, and had a good hunch that i saw some maggots. sure enough altagirl and mr altagirl were in the line up true to form. unfortunately the wind was screwing everything up and the lift wasn't going to open for at least another half hour. we all shot the shit about skiing, riding and what to expect. unfortunately the skiing was kind of a bust new years day. high winds kept the mountan closed mostly and visibilty was extremely poor. lots of mags were showing up, but high winds and cold temps discouraged the hungover crowd. I hung in there for a few runs down "the ho" before they decided to close wildcat. oh well. at least I had hooked up a place to crash. I cruised down with canyon and got some much needed sleep.

just me myself and 20" of fresh
we were up early pouring avie and wheather reports trying to decide what to do. LCC was gonna be closed 'til 10 at least so I decided I couldn't wait and was gonna head up BCC instead for a solitude day. good choice. deep untouched snow everywhere to share it with except my mp3 player

. it was literally as much pow skiing as I could handle. in the afternoon, i rode up with a cool local (eric) and he showed me the goods in honeycomb. best day of the trip. limitless faceshots and a few good airs.

juice crew law!
next day found me again in the wildcat lineup with a huge posse of maggots forming. i was trying to come up with a list of people i met and most were here this day, in no particular order, BumZ, Xover, Dan the Man, phUnk, telephil, truth, frozenwater, altagirl, mr altagirl, altachic, UTDave, macDaddy, natty dread,...they're may well have been more, but thats all i can remember right now. of course the group broke up and i ended up in the rockstar posse of phUnk, dan the man, and telephil - these guys shred HARD. i felt a bit intimitaed especially coming off an injury but was able to hang none the less and found great lines. the day ended with beers and football at goldmniers with ag, mr ag and telephil. good times all around.

sunday was my last day and i got up to alta early again for only a half day. 3rd chair but no mags when i got on the lift. hit the backside when it opened and lapped it a few times before hitting the road(no ballroom for me

). all in all an excellent trip with a great crew!. can't wait to get back.

**Woodsy** · 01-06-2004, 05:32 PM

cant wait to get both ya back here when I am not so busy & we can explore somehttp://www.skisolitude.com/downloads...l-range_hr.jpg

**truth** · 01-06-2004, 08:09 PM

1/3/04

7:45 am and Altachic pokes her head in the door frantically trying to rally the troops as hopes of the 8:30 Wildcat lineup are vaporizing quickly. The next 45 minutes are a blur as gear is assembled, layers added and Mrs phUnk confirms her status as a patron saint of wayward maggots by feeding a copious and rapid dose of pancakes to Altachic, phUnk, DanTheMan and myself.

AC and DTM loading the rental at the Chalet de phUnkdoll
http://www.biglines.com/photos/blpic16881.jpg

LCC - Cold, windy and snowing @ Alta and as we scramble to get geared up in the lot Telephil pulls in next to us. Baptism by fire is the name of the game and before I know WTF is going on I'm thanking god that X-over is not behind me on a flat light rutted out run of the high T on our way to "Jitterbug". These are my first "real" turns of the season on an ACL I opted not to surgically repair and the flat light and dust on crust have me feeling like gaper stu on a bucking bronco. Glad to be back in the Wildcat maze with all parts intact, we are greeted by Frozenwater, Hev and MacDaddy and plot a new course to "Westward Ho". By the time we all regroup up top the posse has swollen to 10 or more and it's game on. The trees add the needed contrast and prove to be holding knee deep leftover Alta fluff. Lines are slashed, meat is hucked and more than one rock-star backflips with abandon. As Frozen, MacD and I board WC the signs are flipped opening Catherine's and when we deliver the news up top the posse charges on.

Eyeing the hike up to Catherine's I realize there is no way my sea level lungs can make the march. Frozen graciously agrees to join me on a more gravity assisted line. As the posse head up we drop in and pick our way into some tight rock-lined fun below the Catherine's traverse. I make 3 turns in virgin snow through the crux and as I open it up into the apron my uphill ski is snagged in a submerged branch and is ripped from my boot. Over the bars and through the snow I cartwheel, ending up a good 30 feet below my ski which is still lodged in the branch exactly where I left it. As I begin to swim upstream for it Frozen appears and with a well placed turn grabs it and sends it to me. We milk every last bit of fluff and meet the posse back at the lift. My heart rate is pegged at 170 and the air is not reaching my blood fast enough. Frozen and MacD agree to babysit the gaper and we set a 2:00 meeting time at Goldminer's Daughter. The rest of the day follows suit as we mine the last bits of creamy white goodness and I gasp for air. The cold is brutal and the 2:00 bell does not come soon enough for some. As frozen and I enter GMD phUnk, DTM and Telephill are sitting with an empty plate of nachos and a pitcher that once contained Cut Throat Ale. The Altagirls are in da house and after a quick hello more beer and nachos are bought and consumed. Stories are told, good times are had and I bask in the good maggot vibes that only Alta can provide.

Returning to the truck there is 6" of snow covering it and a nasty wind-lip cornice overhanging the windshield. With the safety of the group in mind I take a risk and glove cut the cornice triggering an epic slide that ran all the way to the hood. I clear the debris and we safely load the brand new Explorer dollar has foolishly rented to me for $40 a day. The march of the ants ensues as we enter the 3 mph train down the canyon. Growing restless phUnk begins to spout off about how he can ski down the two foot wide shoulder faster than we can drive it. Talking smack about jibbing this and bonking that DTM and I call his bluff and he gears up. 3-2-1 stopping...phUnk leaps from the still rolling truck (my bad...ooops!) and smoovely retrieves skis and poles form the hatch as the traffic begins to pile up behind us. The door slams and I roll on. We watch as phUnk clicks in to the amusement of passing traffic. As phUnk fades further and further back DTM and I look on with much glee as phUnk poles his way down LCC. Having seriously miscalculated his choice of wax, the coefficient of friction of the asphalt and the flatness of the road are winning and he is fading rapidly from view. A photo op is attempted but phUnk's massive arms are no match for the burly line he has chosen to descend. Hearing his distant cries for help a rescue plan is quickly formulated and I flip a bitch on LCC to head back up to get him before the sheriff arrives and starts sniffing the pitchers of ale we surely reek of.

Have you ever pulled a u-turn on LCC in saturday evening rush hour with the road snow-packed? Well neither had I and as DTM offered up a pearl of wisdom, "Just don't get stuck..." I miss the shift into reverse (damn automatic trans) and slide in neutral dropping the right front into the uber soft and deep shoulder. Slamming into drive I gun it and proceed to pull both right hand side wheels into the ditch. More gas pulls us deeper into the drift. Finally phUnk arrives and with much laughter swings the door through the snowbank. The reality sets in and the thought of explaining the situation to the sheriff inspires me to thrash the shit out of that truck in 4 low and with much sawing at the wheel I finesse the beast from the grasp of the shoulder. Now all that is left is to flip another U-turn and barge my way back into downhill traffic. Finally headed back down canyon DTM and I can focus on laughing at phUnk's failed attempt at adding a route to the "Chuting Gallery". Clever little monkey that he is phUnk attempts with great success to divert our abusive attention by wagering that there is a crock pot of homemade chili awaiting our return to the chalet de phUnkdoll.

As if the pancakes were not enough to enter her in the maggot hall of fame, Mrs phUnk has not only a delicious pot of chili for us but homemade hummus and cornbread to boot to boot. DTM passes out with a slog back to Cali awaiting him in the morning and with a full belly I bid farewell to these gracious hosts and hit the road. I'm Ogden bound and heading for Flykdog's crib to reap the bounty of Snowbasin.

To be continued...

**Mountain Junkie** · 01-06-2004, 08:24 PM

Originally posted by hev
next day found me again in the wildcat lineup with a huge posse of maggots forming. i was trying to come up with a list of people i met and most were here this day, in no particular order, BumZ, Xover, Dan the Man, phUnk, telephil, truth, frozenwater, altagirl, mr altagirl, altachic, UTDave, macDaddy, natty dread,...they're may well have been more, but thats all i can remember right now.

I must be blind. Where you guys the group in the front right of the maze? Then again the only person I would have recognized in slut gear would have been phunk, and we all know how hard it is to pick out the little people in the crowd

.

Speaking of which, is there a maggot that wears a yellow Arcteryx Sidewinder and beige pants?

**phUnk** · 01-06-2004, 08:35 PM

I coulda been a contenda.

**Lumpy** · 01-06-2004, 11:42 PM

Originally posted by truth
1/3/04 Clever little monkey that he is phUnk

Better hope phUnky mOnkey doesn't take umbrage to that comment. It got Howie Cosell tossed from the Monday Night Football booth a few decades ago.

**DINMS** · 01-07-2004, 05:16 AM

7:45 am and Altachic pokes her head in the door frantically trying to rally the troops as hopes of the 8:30 Wildcat lineup

Does anyone else think that sounds hot?

**gincognito** · 01-07-2004, 07:04 AM

Thumbs up for good reporting.

SaAaH,
d.

**road trip** · 01-07-2004, 07:23 AM

Originally posted by gincognito
SaAaH,
d.

No GC tag-line? Didn't have your coffee yet, eh?

Returning to the truck there is 6" of snow covering it and a nasty wind-lip cornice overhanging the windshield. with the safety of the group in mind I take a risk and glove cut the cornice triggering an epic slide that ran all the way to the hood.

**bad_roo** · 01-07-2004, 07:26 AM

You don't know how relieved I am to hear that Truth is NOT a superfit hiking machine about to reduce me to a mass of quivering jelly in La Grave.

Way to get after it. Oh and phUnk - I got a fever and the only prescription is more towrope.

**mildbill.** · 01-07-2004, 08:23 AM

Originally posted by Mountain Junkie

Speaking of which, is there a maggot that wears a yellow Arcteryx Sidewinder and beige pants?

if you heard someone (yours truly) yelling profanities at him in a bad quebecois accent it was possibly powpow--skis on woody igneous most of the time.

**iceman** · 01-07-2004, 08:24 AM

phUnk fading in the rearview...classic.

nice report, keep it up.

**altachic** · 01-07-2004, 10:45 AM

sweet report truth. glad you made it here for a couple days.
sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.
Can't wait to see you again for the mini!
kisses,
L

**truth** · 01-07-2004, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by altachic

sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.

SLOOOOOW PITCH....

That's some risky verbiage in these waters AC. Twas cool to rip a few gaperiffic turns with ya for sure. Can't wait to get back out and do it again.

**iceman** · 01-07-2004, 11:00 AM

Originally posted by truth
SLOOOOOW PITCH....

heh, thought the exact same thing when I read that.

**Lumpy** · 01-07-2004, 11:01 AM

Originally posted by altachic

sorry i didn't come down earlier to wake you up...i was a little preoccupied.

L

ya beat me to it T...

edit-and Ice!!!!

**truth** · 01-07-2004, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by Lumpy
ya beat me to it DTM...

I think it's more accurate now...

**iceman** · 01-07-2004, 11:06 AM

Originally posted by truth
I think it's more accurate now...

More hijinks in the high country, eh?

**Helicrackjnky** · 01-07-2004, 11:09 AM

Truth nice report but where are the pics? Us mere mortals need to see the fluffy white stuff,Got live other peoples experiences!!

**iceman** · 01-07-2004, 11:09 AM

I see the "delete post" function still works.

**truth** · 01-07-2004, 11:12 AM

Ice...discretion is the....ah nevermind.

Helicrack...it was so frickin cold I only busted out 3 pics the whole trip. Had no desire to deal with frozen digits.

**xboat** · 01-07-2004, 11:24 AM

truth man, nice report.

i flew out friday also and my plane came from chicago - fackin 4 hours late!!

i knew you were probably having some troubles getting outta the flats too.

after a white knuckle drive over loveland and vail pass, my first turns of the year were kinda heavy knee deep runs at vail. i know exactly what you mean about the legs....mine still feel it today.

count me in on the next LCC assault will ya?