For my purposes, I need funny but not overly crude. But I know which direction this may go.
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For my purposes, I need funny but not overly crude. But I know which direction this may go.
this has a few pgs of good fodder
http://memegenerator.net/Happier-Than-Geico-Guys
A puppy with two peckers. A pig in shit.
A Catholic priest in an orphanage.
^winner
Happier than a maggot in Jackson Hole last weekend?
Cam Newton next Sunday night?
Donald Trumps haters yesterday?
Bobby at Alpental next weekend?
A chubby kid in a candy shop
Pio at an all-you-can-eat buffet?
Happier than a butcher's dog
Two Ogdens?
Than Jerry Sandysky at a youth football game.
a sot in a river o' whiskey
Pio at the drive-thru/rollover window?Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
Jerod at a high school cheerleading competition.
A junkie in an oxycontin factory.
Barak Obama next January 21
Hugh Conway
happier than timberridge when he leaves the garden state for the green mtn state
Kim kardashian at a spanx sale
I have mixed feelings. Things are not good up there this year.Quote:
Originally Posted by baby bear
On that Discovery channel show Moonshiners the other day one of the rednecks said "ya don't have to drink much of this and it'll make you love your mother in law." Not quite what you were asking for but it made me think of that.
Here's your answer...clean and makes senseQuote:
Originally Posted by KQ
Happier than a Pilot on 4 wheels.
Happier than me after I take my morning dump.
Happier than a camel on hump day.
Or a tornado in a trailer park.
that is not a good happier than metaphor thenQuote:
Originally Posted by Timberridge
strike mine from the record!
Happier than a Timberridge in Vermont.*
*which is easy to be, because he's not happy in Vermont this year. Setting the happiness bar kind of low, but hey.
But really is there any of these better than happier than a pig in shit? That one has it all.
The classique can't be beatQuote:
Originally Posted by iceman
happier than iceman in jeans
I used to work for this Canadian guy who had all these sayings, like "busier than a one-armed paperhanger" and "busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest" and "better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick", let's hear more since we finished the "happier than" thread just now.
A metaphor designer? https://aeon.co/essays/how-to-build-...people-s-mindsQuote:
Originally Posted by iceman
Happier than the panda at the zoo playing in the snow. I'd guess you' d have to have seen the video, but he was pretty dam happy.
Hotter than panther piss...Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
I had this crew coach in High School who used to stutter when he got excited, he used to love to get us out on the river when it was unbearably cold out, he'd get us together before practice and he'd literally be rubbing his hands together with glee and he'd always say, "It's c-c-c-colder than a w-w-w-witches t-t-t-tit out there boys!"
Piss like a race horse...
Two of my favorites
A midget at a mini skirt convention
Eddie Money running a travel agency
My coach cleaned it up a little and said: "Colder than a Nitches Wipple!".Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
Happier than a dead pig with his head stuck under a gate.
Hotter than two mice fucking in a wool sock.
Hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire.
Crazier than a shithouse rat.
More nervous than a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
I used to work with a golf pro from Texas. Had the best sayings for everything.
Pro: Hey Bmills, you need to get yourself a bigger truck, one with some space between the front seats. That way when you drive home a homely girl the next morning, no one thinks you're together.
Pro: Hey Bmills, that putt back there to clinch 5 skins? Strong as new rope!
I could go on for days with his stuff. Cracked my ass up.
Pro: that girl's about as useful as tits on a steer.