Anyone looking for an Aupair?

http://www.greataupair.com/photos/Au...=1112993728276

From her profile at Aupair.com:

AuPair Profile 331457 Add to your hotlist Add to My Hot List
Sweet Swedish girl...
Click to enlarge photo Click to enlarge photo


Johanna, age 22 at a Glance
22-year old woman, Swedish national living in Sweden who speaks English. She is a non-smoker without previous Au Pair experience that has a driver's license and is willing to do housework. She has a passport from Sweden and no visas.



No experience...I'll have to pass.

whoa.

So honey, yeah here is my top pick for an aupair.

[distant sound of wife rummaging through tool drawer for a rusty utility knife]

That photo screams "I'm good with children!"

At least, that was my first thought.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dexter Rutecki

...is willing to do housework.

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How liberally are we using the term "housework" here.

She has Aupair of nice juggs.

"sponsored by homewrecker"

Shit I would call her a house wrecker!! That would make me come home from work early all the time!! Shit I would never leave! Oh yeah I got rid of the wife to chase girls like that! :fm:

when your baby nurses it is my breast he's picturing.... ooohhhh yeah!

I'd be afraid of her giving the kids some kind of eating disorder...damn, skinny, blonde swedes!!! Plus that tattoo, what'll the kids think?

One way or another, with her working for you you'd quickly have your wife/children duties taken care of.

Got that listing from a friend with neither wife nor children--why is he on that site?

Honey I've been thinking, maybe we should have kids after all. Think of all the great life experiences we're missing out on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dexter Rutecki

One way or another, with her working for you you'd quickly have your wife/children duties taken care of.

Got that listing from a friend with neither wife nor children--why is he on that site?

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"Jah, so I've been working for your for two weeks. When will I meet ze children?"

It's all good until your ten year old boy starts misbehaving so she will give him a spanking...

Or YOU start misbehaving...

Sending a picture like that to AuPair.com is like sending your test shots to Playboy wearing a NorthFace puffy. You aren't getting work.

She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VTskibum

She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.

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That is true. I hadn't thought of that angle. Crafty this one is.

Hmmmm

Maybe the maggot collective lodge needs an Aupair:

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Au Pair Preferences and Availability Prefers to work with families of the nationality No preference [whee, that includes you hosers too eh!]

Would like to work in the following countries No preference [Yay for America!]

Au Pair is open to other locations but prefers No preference [Yay for Canada!]

Languages spoken by Au Pair English [Fuck France, eh!]

Earliest starting date Au Pair is available June, 2005 [Paint my house!]

Latest date Au Pair is available September, 2006 [Twice!]

Shortest period Au Pair can stay 3 months [Booo]

Longest period Au Pair can stay 18 months [Yay!]

Au Pair is seeking work that is Full-time [huh huh hu uh huh full]

Au Pair prefers a work situation that is Live In [Yeah Baby!]

Au Pair 's weekly salary expectation is $201 - $300 [Ain't too bad]

Years of education completed 12 [Perfecto!]

Years of previous childcare experience 0 [Well, that would be helpful,
especially given the mental age of some here]

Au Pair owns her own automobile No [totally reliant, perfecto!]

Will care for children under Age 2 Yes [AKPM!]

Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]

Will work for a single parent family Yes [Donny Bravo!]

Will care for special-needs children Yes [Blurred! You're in luck dude!]

Will care for pets Yes [Adam our new loveland mascot]

Au Pair can swim Yes [Foggy, take her boating]

Has first-aid training Yes [KUSH! She's perfect for you man!]

Religious or spiritual practice Atheist [All]

Prefers a family in the age group 20 Something [Maybe we can work around this?]

Dietary considerations None - I eat everything [No comment!]

Au Pair 's health is Excellent [No shit huh?]

Au Pair 's height is 5' 4" or 163 Centimeters [NICE]

Au Pair 's weight is 110 Lbs or 50 Kgs [NICE]

Au Pair is married No [NICE]

Au Pair is part of a working couple No [BOOOOOOOOO Bring a girlfriend!]

Will provide references upon request Yes [For what?]

Au Pair's Message to Families [We're a "family"]

I am a sweet Swedish[YOSS!] girl, age 22, who wants to explore more thingsi in life. I want to live abroad for a year or so, getting to know new people and at the same time have some fun. I am very fun, openminded, outgoing, charming and flexible. Please

Thread title should read: "anyone looking for trouble!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VTskibum

She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.

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I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by phUnk

I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.

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Just make sure you get a mutt from a shelter, okay?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lemon boy

Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]

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Thanks, man! So you're taking care of this, right? Just need to know so Mrs. Rutecki gives the beat-down to the right guy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by phUnk

I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.

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I think I just creamed my jeans and could use aupair of hands to help me clean up.

edit:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lemon boy
Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]:

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Holy shit! I qualify!

Au Pairfect she is! Au Pairttime job in my household thee should have.

If there's a guy out there who's married to a woman that'd be cool with that young lady living in their house... I KNOW he's always got a big fukkin' grin on his face, and I hate him.

Didn't I see this episode of Growing Pains?

I heart this thread.

I have nothing funny to add to this thread, except the obvious, I want to fuck the shit out of that. There, I said it. You all were thinking it, I said it.

WTF? That site must be fake. I know that girl. She's not an AuPair from Sweden, she's a stinking stripper from Oakland, California.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Geoff

WTF? That site must be fake. I know that girl. She's not an AuPair from Sweden, she's a stinking stripper from Oakland, California.

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What, you recognize her from the other night? :tdo13: :wink:

I'm willing to wager that "being an aupair" is not a requirement on her excepting a well-compensated position!!!! :biggrin:

"I am very fun, openminded, outgoing, charming and flexible. Please "

openminded, and flexible those are two I like to hear along with well trimed :fm: :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Geoff

WTF? That site must be fake. I know that girl. She's not an AuPair from Sweden, she's a stinking stripper from Oakland, California.

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What tipped you off? The brown eyes?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Geoff

WTF? That site must be fake. I know that girl. She's not an AuPair from Sweden, she's a stinking stripper from Oakland, California.

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C'mon, do you really know she stinks?

So, does anyone know if Yoss accepted that job offer in Sweden?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Karl Stall

Thread title should read: "anyone looking for trouble!"

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That would be me!! But then again thats my life!! :rolleyes:

Quote:

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C'mon, do you really know she stinks?

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Like low tide..

wasn't this on an episode of joot shoot meone time?

I'm so confused and at least have the maturity of a 5 year old