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Thread: Anyone looking for an Aupair?

  1. 04-08-2005, 02:47 PM #1
    Dexter Rutecki
    Dexter Rutecki is offline features a sintered base
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    Anyone looking for an Aupair?



    From her profile at Aupair.com:

    AuPair Profile 331457 Add to your hotlist Add to My Hot List
    Sweet Swedish girl...
    Click to enlarge photo Click to enlarge photo


    Johanna, age 22 at a Glance
    22-year old woman, Swedish national living in Sweden who speaks English. She is a non-smoker without previous Au Pair experience that has a driver's license and is willing to do housework. She has a passport from Sweden and no visas.



    No experience...I'll have to pass.
    [quote][//quote]
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  2. 04-08-2005, 02:53 PM #2
    lemon boy's Avatar
    lemon boy
    lemon boy is offline Caul Fat Dealer
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    whoa.

    So honey, yeah here is my top pick for an aupair.

    [distant sound of wife rummaging through tool drawer for a rusty utility knife]
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn
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  3. 04-08-2005, 02:54 PM #3
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    Cornholio
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    That photo screams "I'm good with children!"

    At least, that was my first thought.
    It's idomatic, beatch.
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  4. 04-08-2005, 02:55 PM #4
    Stu Gotz's Avatar
    Stu Gotz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dexter Rutecki
    ...is willing to do housework.
    How liberally are we using the term "housework" here.
    Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
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  5. 04-08-2005, 02:57 PM #5
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    TheDingleberry
    TheDingleberry is offline Intraveinious User
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    She has Aupair of nice juggs.
    "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."
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  6. 04-08-2005, 03:02 PM #6
    meatdrink9
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    "sponsored by homewrecker"
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  7. 04-08-2005, 03:02 PM #7
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    Helicrackjnky
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    Shit I would call her a house wrecker!! That would make me come home from work early all the time!! Shit I would never leave! Oh yeah I got rid of the wife to chase girls like that!
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  8. 04-08-2005, 03:04 PM #8
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    lemon boy
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    when your baby nurses it is my breast he's picturing.... ooohhhh yeah!
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn
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  9. 04-08-2005, 03:04 PM #9
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    SkiingBear
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    I'd be afraid of her giving the kids some kind of eating disorder...damn, skinny, blonde swedes!!! Plus that tattoo, what'll the kids think?
    [This Space For Rent]
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  10. 04-08-2005, 03:05 PM #10
    Dexter Rutecki
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    One way or another, with her working for you you'd quickly have your wife/children duties taken care of.

    Got that listing from a friend with neither wife nor children--why is he on that site?
    [quote][//quote]
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  11. 04-08-2005, 03:06 PM #11
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    PNWbrit
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    Honey I've been thinking, maybe we should have kids after all. Think of all the great life experiences we're missing out on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........
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  12. 04-08-2005, 03:08 PM #12
    phUnk's Avatar
    phUnk
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Dexter Rutecki
    One way or another, with her working for you you'd quickly have your wife/children duties taken care of.

    Got that listing from a friend with neither wife nor children--why is he on that site?
    "Jah, so I've been working for your for two weeks. When will I meet ze children?"
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  13. 04-08-2005, 03:11 PM #13
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    summit
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    It's all good until your ten year old boy starts misbehaving so she will give him a spanking...

    Or YOU start misbehaving...
    Quote Originally Posted by blurred
    skiing is hiking all day so that you can ski on shitty gear for 5 minutes.
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  14. 04-08-2005, 03:12 PM #14
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    Sending a picture like that to AuPair.com is like sending your test shots to Playboy wearing a NorthFace puffy. You aren't getting work.
    Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
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  15. 04-08-2005, 03:14 PM #15
    VTskibum
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    She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.
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  16. 04-08-2005, 03:19 PM #16
    Stu Gotz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VTskibum
    She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.
    That is true. I hadn't thought of that angle. Crafty this one is.
    Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
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  17. 04-08-2005, 03:21 PM #17
    lemon boy's Avatar
    lemon boy
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    Hmmmm

    Maybe the maggot collective lodge needs an Aupair:

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Au Pair Preferences and Availability Prefers to work with families of the nationality No preference [whee, that includes you hosers too eh!]

    Would like to work in the following countries No preference [Yay for America!]

    Au Pair is open to other locations but prefers No preference [Yay for Canada!]

    Languages spoken by Au Pair English [Fuck France, eh!]

    Earliest starting date Au Pair is available June, 2005 [Paint my house!]

    Latest date Au Pair is available September, 2006 [Twice!]

    Shortest period Au Pair can stay 3 months [Booo]

    Longest period Au Pair can stay 18 months [Yay!]

    Au Pair is seeking work that is Full-time [huh huh hu uh huh full]

    Au Pair prefers a work situation that is Live In [Yeah Baby!]

    Au Pair 's weekly salary expectation is $201 - $300 [Ain't too bad]

    Years of education completed 12 [Perfecto!]

    Years of previous childcare experience 0 [Well, that would be helpful,
    especially given the mental age of some here]

    Au Pair owns her own automobile No [totally reliant, perfecto!]

    Will care for children under Age 2 Yes [AKPM!]

    Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]

    Will work for a single parent family Yes [Donny Bravo!]

    Will care for special-needs children Yes [Blurred! You're in luck dude!]

    Will care for pets Yes [Adam our new loveland mascot]

    Au Pair can swim Yes [Foggy, take her boating]

    Has first-aid training Yes [KUSH! She's perfect for you man!]

    Religious or spiritual practice Atheist [All]

    Prefers a family in the age group 20 Something [Maybe we can work around this?]

    Dietary considerations None - I eat everything [No comment!]

    Au Pair 's health is Excellent [No shit huh?]

    Au Pair 's height is 5' 4" or 163 Centimeters [NICE]

    Au Pair 's weight is 110 Lbs or 50 Kgs [NICE]

    Au Pair is married No [NICE]

    Au Pair is part of a working couple No [BOOOOOOOOO Bring a girlfriend!]

    Will provide references upon request Yes [For what?]

    Au Pair's Message to Families [We're a "family"]

    I am a sweet Swedish[YOSS!] girl, age 22, who wants to explore more thingsi in life. I want to live abroad for a year or so, getting to know new people and at the same time have some fun. I am very fun, openminded, outgoing, charming and flexible. Please
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn
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  18. 04-08-2005, 03:21 PM #18
    Karl Stall's Avatar
    Karl Stall
    Karl Stall is offline HEY NOW
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    Thread title should read: "anyone looking for trouble!"
    "When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible."
    Mohandas Gandhi
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  19. 04-08-2005, 03:21 PM #19
    phUnk's Avatar
    phUnk
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by VTskibum
    She's working the Single Dad angle of the market... I know I'd be hiring if I were a single Dad.
    I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.
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  20. 04-08-2005, 03:42 PM #20
    iceman
    iceman is offline Funky But Chic
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    Quote Originally Posted by phUnk
    I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.
    Just make sure you get a mutt from a shelter, okay?
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  21. 04-08-2005, 03:53 PM #21
    Dexter Rutecki
    Dexter Rutecki is offline features a sintered base
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon boy
    Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]
    Thanks, man! So you're taking care of this, right? Just need to know so Mrs. Rutecki gives the beat-down to the right guy.
    [quote][//quote]
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  22. 04-08-2005, 03:55 PM #22
    splat
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    Quote Originally Posted by phUnk
    I'm thinking about adopting a kid just so I can hire her.
    I think I just creamed my jeans and could use aupair of hands to help me clean up.

    edit:
    Originally Posted by lemon boy
    Will care for the elderly Yes [Dex! This babe's for you (sometimes)]:
    Holy shit! I qualify!
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  23. 04-08-2005, 04:04 PM #23
    -D-'s Avatar
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    Au Pairfect she is! Au Pairttime job in my household thee should have.
    Relativ geschickt schickt Bo schicke Grüße an die Schickeria - ihr habt auch SCHICKE SCHIA!
    BOOYAKASHAAA!!!
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  24. 04-08-2005, 04:33 PM #24
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    jibij
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    If there's a guy out there who's married to a woman that'd be cool with that young lady living in their house... I KNOW he's always got a big fukkin' grin on his face, and I hate him.
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  25. 04-08-2005, 05:33 PM #25
    Stikki
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    Didn't I see this episode of Growing Pains?
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