Rusty Nails and the Man Blouse: or AKA What hath Seattle wraught!

I need a cold compress and a stiff drink.

Really.

My world has been turned upside down.

Chapter 1: In the Gloaming

It all started innocently enough. Skiing in the morning at alpenglow, a chance meeting with AKpowderMankey. Rusty and I carving arcs into the smooth surface of a windbuff soft crust.

Ah but who knew WHAT the night would bring.

We repaired to the domicile of FriendOfRusty, referred to everafter as B. Plans were made to attend dinner and drunkeness was discussed. In the great tradition of male bonding, episodes of Charlie Murphies True Hollywood Stories were summoned from the depths of Tivo.

Who knew the foreshadowing that was placed.

Chapter 2: PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS OF LAKE MINNETONKA

The Prince episode was broadcast and chorteling was involved. I went to bathe myself as I was verklempt from a long day of skiing and changing tires. I arrived back downstairs to a discussion of clothes. Now please comprehend that the normal Alaskan discussion of clothes is Carhartts vs Jeans vs Camo. There IS limited room for flexibility within the Anchorage scene, however unless we were going to open up the keg of pretentiousness called rumrunners, those options were not to be explored.

HOWEVER!

Rusty emerged from the bathroom wearing what can only be described as THE MAN BLOUSE. Resplendent in its glory it shimmered as though recently off a trendy Seattlite Discotheque Dance Floor. I saw God, Jesus, and The Devil all at once as colors and twirls that entranced me permiated my brain.

We cried and wept as though confronted by something greater than we all were. "B" broke the reverie however by stating, "You know DAMN well where you got that from, and it wasn't the MEN's department"

Chapter 3: Yankees 1

Aprehension was obvious as the fate of the man blouse was to be decided then and for all. Removed it was, for all that it was worth and the generalizations came forth.

It was found that perhaps more seattle maggots had clothes and coiffures of such magnitude. I heard stories of BIG COLLARS, BRIGHT COLORS, and STRIPED BUTTON DOWN SHIRTS

THIS WILL NOT DO!

Chapter 4: The Rescue - or - How I came to love the Hoodie and save the world

We can and will save the seattle maggots from the burgeoning trend of super maggotsexuality. One hoody from each of you can and will be airlifted to the seattle/tacoma/bellingham area to be distributed amongst the men of that area. please log on to www.saveseattlemaggotsfrommanblouses.com and donate your hoody today!

Please! Only you can save a maggot.

The link DON'T work! And I'm ready to help save a maggot!

While he lived in Alaska Rusty was forced to hide his true personality as a metrosexual. He tried to put up a macho front, but every night he cried himself to sleep because there was nowhere he could get a good pedicure.

Crenillated coruscations brought about by indirections to Seinfelds frilly shirt episode?

An Angry Whelk hoodie might do the trick.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

Crenillated coruscations brought about by indirections to Seinfelds frilly shirt episode?

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so rusty's friend and neighbor is dating a low-talking clothing designer?

NOBODY WILL EVER CATCH Z- IN A MAN BLOUSE!

ICH BIN DER KONIG AUS DEN HOODIE!

NEIN IN DER POOPENHAUSEN!
http://www.biglines.com/photos/blpic28809.jpg



i have no excuse for mr. nails, or other trendy shirt wearing seattleites. also, i have no excuse for myself, i slept on yoda's bed. but i will take hoodie donations. russell athletic only, XXL.

I own roughly equal amounts of hoodies and button-down shirts. I own nothing shiny, nothing blousy, nothing bright.

I pass blame on to two groups of people: women, and the man.

Names have been named: Rusty Rolled.

Fess up before the calling out ensues.

Don't look at me. I wear t-shirts. I think the poor misguided lad took it on himself in a pursuit of a higher plane of smooveness...

http://www.biglines.com/photos/blpic28809.jpg
An opportunity was really missed when z-bo went to bed without the braids and boobs y'know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by optics

I own roughly equal amounts of hoodies and button-down shirts. I own nothing shiny, nothing blousy, nothing bright.

I pass blame on to two groups of people: women, and the man.

---

So says the man who, after inviting me to socialize in briefs (or briefly, what does the philology matter?), stood me up at the NWAC benefit.

Harruuumpphhhhhhh!

The light of truth begins to shine upon Optics.

REPENT!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

after inviting me to socialize...

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Marx, Lennin, Mao, Highman...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Viva

Marx, Lennin, Mao, Highman...

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Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky
Optics thinks Viva's really hotski.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Odin

The light of truth begins to shine upon Optics.

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Leave me out of this you fear mongering phalistine.

# 9 is mine....muhahaha!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by truth

Leave me out of this you fear mongering phalistine.

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PAGING DOCTOR FREUD

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

So says the man who, after inviting me to socialize in briefs (or briefly, what does the philology matter?), stood me up at the NWAC benefit.

Harruuumpphhhhhhh!

---

Guilty. But see my previous post for the guilty influences. Same two, too.

I am, as the french say, en wack (and had little faith in the cod foie's powers).

That said, my shirts are still dull cotton. I'm guilty of odd coiffure, but that's because fashion loves nerds lately. I had it first.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Viva

Marx, Lennon, Mao, Highman...

---

http://www.lyrics.com/m/marx,_richard/richard.marx.jpg

http://www.bobgruen.com/files/johnle...%20CURL-74.jpg

http://ronwalker.org/china/mao.JPG

?

Quote:

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Highman

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http://www.born-today.com/Today/pix/zappa_f.jpg

And you question the source of Rusty's fashion foibles?

http://ronwalker.org/china/mao.JPG

No no no. I think you meant:

http://www.nba.com/media/act_yao_ming.jpg


Oh, sorry. That's Yao, not Mao.

Easy mistake to make, what with the red and all.

So Odin stirs a pot that he once swam in. I ask, my young friend, which one of us wore a collared shirt out that night? Which one of us drank TWO strawberry lemonade vodkas? Which one of us kept talking about the Kenneth Cole shoes he used to wear when he lived in "Colorado?" Your Valdez wardrobe reveals itself as nothing but a facade. You are a closet metrosexual and the fact that you drive a Subaru Forester is only further proof.

As for Z-Bo (who does not wear just hoodies), Joshbu (and his "Microsoft intellectual" spectacles) and others in the crowd crying "not me" and thereby lying not only to yourselves, but everyone else -- be ashamed. Be very ashamed.

Also, about damn time that picture of Z-bo passed out on the dog-bed made the board. Poor Yoda -- she looks so confused in that picture.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rusty Nails

So Odin stirs a pot that he once swam in. I ask, my young friend, which one of us wore a collared shirt out that night? Which one of us drank TWO strawberry lemonade vodkas? Which one of us kept talking about the Kenneth Cole shoes he used to wear when he lived in "Colorado?" Your Valdez wardrobe reveals itself as nothing but a facade. You are a closet metrosexual and the fact that you drive a Subaru Forester is only further proof.

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The pen is indeed mightier than the sword.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rusty Nails

As for Z-Bo (who does not wear just hoodies), Joshbu (and his "Microsoft intellectual" spectacles) and others in the crowd crying "not me" and thereby lying not only to yourselves, but everyone else -- be ashamed.

---

No more talk about metrosexuals
because I must confess,
this can only get worse
and we'll be seeing Z-Bo in a dress.

OK, I have electric clothes. An international orange satin shirt, cowboy style with black piping, crumpled and burnt from sparks in the wee hours of consciousness. I think I got it in a Deer Lodge MT junk store back when I thought "Stayin' Alive" was the dumbest thing ever.

Now __those__ guys dressed funny.

I have red and green ghostweave ikat Guatemalan hippie pants, purchased by my mother in law for me when we took her to a Dead show in the '80s. I like to wear them to punk shows and occasionally to work.

I have patched levis, lovingly needled by thrift hippie chicks from the past. I'm too fat now to wear most of them.

I have a finely honed array of golf pants, selectively chosen for the most obnoxious plaid or wide, integrated belt. I think some are doubleknit. When paired with a black "Face Ditch" t-shirt ( http://www.faceditch.com/ ) or yellow Missoula Stockman's Bar (Liquor Up Front, Poker In The Rear) t-shirt, I feel properly attired to attend a rock concert or political rally.

Alas, I confess to lacking any of that fine sportwear from the late 70's (neon) or late 80's (TNF Geek Tech). My ski wear went from racer dood to army surplus to stealthwear, skipping the finer feathers of that period.

And so, if each of us dredge, we can likley fine some ghastly threads that eschew any semblance of sartorial splendor.

It's just that Rusty and I have the taste to wear them in exactly the wrong situation.
http://63.227.216.245/FaceDitch/FaceDitchmd.gif

i have to admit. i also wear wigs and boobs. and the odd dress shirt. nothing shiny mind you. just playeriffic. and really what this all boils down to is that odin is jealous. he wants to be smoove like rusty, but can't even comprehend what amount of smoove it would take to even give rusty a reach around. so, like all sore losers, he covertly hides his lame attempt at smooveness behind a facade of man blouse hating.

All lies and half truths! I merely spoke from an intervention booklet to lure you into spilling the real deal.

As for the fruity drinks, at least I wasn't the one who wanted to go to SUB ZERO of all places.

and let's the forget the acapella rendition of "My milkshake brings all the boys to the bar"

You have been sucked into a black hole of denial. Who brought up going to Subzero? Who was the FIRST person to sing of their milkshake? Your girlfriend needs to kick yer ass for being such a fancy-lad. Have you told her of your undying devotion to beauty clad in a white sweater at Koot's?