Help me prank my girlfriend

I am going to visit my girlfriend next weekend, but she doesn't know I am coming, so I want to pull some prank on her where I show up as the punchline (I am not that exciting, but she'll be excited).

She is a cool chick and can take a lot, but it isn't as if anything goes. For example, I could fake her car getting stolen, and she would laugh about it at the end. But I wouldn't fake tell her that I have chlamydia. So, I guess there are limits, but I am happy to hear all suggestions.

My first idea was to wait until Monday and have her boss come into her office and say something like, "we hired this new guy and I was hoping you could get him up to date on your accounts. We have decided to go another direction, and we are going to let you go, but we really need you to transfer your work over to him as smoothly as possible. He'll be here in 15 minutes." Then, I would be the new guy. Obviously, the actual conversation would take some work. But, problem is, I don't want to wait until Monday to head down. Suggestions?

So I m banging your girl and you walk in with a rug that has a bunch of conclusions you can...wait for it .........jump to.......

and you say...."so what conclusion should I jump to"

And I say let me finish my conclusion......
ha funny okbye

Call an escort and send her to her house. you show up with blow 2 minutes after said ho!
Commence the party!

I wouldn't do anything at her work that involves her boss, unless you are friends with the boss.

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Originally Posted by Huckin eh?

Call an escort and send her to her house. you show up with blow 2 minutes after said ho!
Commence the party!

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Close. Get some of her girlfriends in on the deal. Have a few of them (and her, duh) gather at someone's house. At some point, someone lets it our that they've hired a male stripper. Get some guy she doesn't know to knock on the door, announce the stripper is here, set up a boom box, etc. Then you walk in. I see two possible outcomes. 1) The girls are so worked up by then in anticipation of seeing a stripper that they all rip your clothes off and take turns having their way with you, or 2), you're girlfriend is so worked up in anticipation of seeing a stripper, and then surprised/excited that it is you, that she takes you home and bangs your brains out. Either way, you win.

this is exactly how people find out their girlfriend is cheating on them

How has nobody suggested a dick in a box? It's the perfect occasion.

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Originally Posted by fish

this is exactly how people find out their girlfriend is cheating on them

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FUUCCCKK!!! How do I ^^^^^^^^embed? I can never do it.

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Originally Posted by HaoXianJhao

ha funny okbye

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woah are you the racoon guy?

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Originally Posted by Steepdeepnlong

Close. Get some of her girlfriends in on the deal. Have a few of them (and her, duh) gather at someone's house. At some point, someone lets it our that they've hired a male stripper. Get some guy she doesn't know to knock on the door, announce the stripper is here, set up a boom box, etc. Then you walk in. I see two possible outcomes. 1) The girls are so worked up by then in anticipation of seeing a stripper that they all rip your clothes off and take turns having their way with you, or 2), you're girlfriend is so worked up in anticipation of seeing a stripper, and then surprised/excited that it is you, that she takes you home and bangs your brains out. Either way, you win.

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Ha, I really like this idea. I'll work on it.

I am friends with the boss, and though I haven't cleared it with him yet, I bet he would be down. It is a pretty relaxed work environment.

I wish it were legal to hire someone to impersonate a police officer.

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Originally Posted by davieboot

I wish it were legal to hire someone to impersonate a police officer.

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Hot cops?

http://www.clumsycrooks.com/media/fi...s/hot_cops.jpg

I got gonorrhea from the tractor!

Feed her some kind of oddly shaped indistinguishable meat. Tell her it's a beloved family pet. Enjoy.

post a bunch of naked pics of her on TGR! Perfect!

That and the "Dick in a Box" of course

Um, or Der Poopenhausen

whew, can't believe it took so long to get that out of the way, you guys are slipping

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Originally Posted by davep

Hot cops?

http://www.clumsycrooks.com/media/fi...s/hot_cops.jpg

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hire the one on the right with the gunt. :rolleyes:

Have a couple of maggots follow her out of the grocery store and stuff her in the trunk of her car, then drive off in said car. Deliver car to where you are waiting, and "SURPRISE!"

Some guy did a "surprise" on my sis that involved a dead sheep, guns, blood on the douche boyfriend and a termination of the relationship about a month later.

I don't think the you are being fired scenario is quite to that level, but it didn't make me all warm and fuzzy.

The male stripper thing might have some legs.

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Originally Posted by vinzclortho

hire the one on the right with the gunt. :rolleyes:

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Preggers.

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Originally Posted by davieboot

My first idea was to wait until Monday and have her boss come into her office and say something like, "we hired this new guy and I was hoping you could get him up to date on your accounts. We have decided to go another direction, and we are going to let you go, but we really need you to transfer your work over to him as smoothly as possible. He'll be here in 15 minutes." Then, I would be the new guy. Obviously, the actual conversation would take some work. But, problem is, I don't want to wait until Monday to head down. Suggestions?

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Too much complicated not enough funneh in my estimation. I mean losing your job is the antithesis of funny in today's economy. I think the chance encounter when she is out getting coffee our grocery shopping is more likely to lead to crazy, spontaneous humping. and after all that is the objective is it not?.

I surprised Mrs CA with a visit when she was still in school. Drove 12hrs to her school and just parked in the lot outside the building she had clinic in. Then I sat on the hood of the truck and drank a coffee while I waited for her to notice that I was sitting outside the window.

That did not turn out to be a bad weekend.

What about having a big box from FedEx when she gets home. I am in the box. I can also put a note on it to throw her off a bit.

You sure you want to show up unanounced ? Could walk in on something you dont want to see.

Yeah, good point. If my girlfriend is having midafternoon gangbangs with half the neighborhood, I definitely would not want to find out.

Prank, you say?

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"Whoops, wrong hole. Sorry about that!"

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Originally Posted by davieboot

What about having a big box from FedEx when she gets home. I am in the box. I can also put a note on it to throw her off a bit.

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what if she decides to make a detour on the way home and you suffocate?:fm:

I like the stripper idea. Something easy that I've done before is to give her a call a couple blocks before you got to her house, talk to her while you're walking up to the place, saying I miss you etc, then knock and she opens the door to find you!

..and possibly dick-in-a-box, with blow and hookers, der poopenhausen etc...

I think we should listen to Biz Markie drop a little science.

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So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitors form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didnt know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin my girl in the mouth,

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Sure! I'll be right over.










Oops, I thought you said "spank". My bad.

Or how about getting friends or family to borrow her spare car key. When she is parked somewhere even a tiny bit shady, set off the car alarm. When she comes running out, speed off in her car. Before she has time to call the cops, pull around, smiling.

Here IT is:

You show up un-announced with 2 dozen roses, a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, and a romantic handwritten card. Then you take her out to an expensive dinner and return to her place where we've put rose petals on her bed. You slowly build up with lots of caressing, kissing, nibbling until she's ooozing for you. Then you blindfold her.. Then I slip out of the closet and stick it in and you remove the blindfold.

Suprise!!

davieboot = headed for trouble.

Obstruction/Caucasian Asian have the right idea. You have to keep your goals in mind. "Oh shit my car got stolen!!" does not easily lead to a weekend of crazy sex. You may well get there, but what you propose would seem a detour, not an expressway.

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Originally Posted by Sir Jongalot

Here IT is:

You show up un-announced with 2 dozen roses, a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, and a romantic handwritten card. Then you take her out to an expensive dinner and return to her place where we've put rose petals on her bed. You slowly build up with lots of caressing, kissing, nibbling until she's ooozing for you. Then you blindfold her.. Then I slip out of the closet and stick it in and you remove the blindfold.

Suprise!!

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AKA "Rodeo Fuck" I bet jongy could go seven seconds

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Originally Posted by shredgnar

AKA "Rodeo Fuck" I bet jongy could go seven seconds

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Right!! - what WAS I thinking? Wait until I cum and THEN pull off the blindfold.

I suggest utilizing the Shocker technique and/or the Butler. That or just fuck her butt.

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Originally Posted by carvedog

The male stripper thing might have some legs.

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Jeezus yes, the stripper must have legs. I mean, amputee strippers are cool if you're into that kind of thing. But if she isn't, you'll have some serious explaining to do.