Coaching young kids sports teams

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Originally Posted by booner

I'm in my 5th year coaching kid's hockey. First year of select travel this year...8 yr olds.

They're (barely) beyond learning just the basic skills now, and I run almost all game situation drills for them. Let's just say it's been challenging. There's nothing better than having at least 2 kids out of 12 put their backs to you half way through explaining every drill.

Today the biggest punk on the team was pushing kids around in line so I told him to go take a seat away from the team. A minute later I went over and told him that wasn't gonna fly and that he could come back over. He refused to acknowledge me or get up off the ice...I let him sit there the rest of the practice, reminding him every few minutes he could join us. Eventually I told him to get up or get off the ice...he got off the ice. His dad coaches one of the teams that shares the ice with us and pulled him over to their practice. Little fucker does this shit all the time...best player...completely uncoachable.

I ended up just skating the piss out of them after I couldn't even get a drill going after several attempts at keeping their attention for the 2 minutes it takes to give instructions.

At one point I sat them down and told them I really needed their attention while I gave instructions. I got them back up and started talking again and the same kids put their backs to me and started playing with pucks.

I'm drinking now

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no offense intended, I love your posts, you shouldn't be coaching kids this young.

^^Agreed.

Booner, you'll find 8-9's don't respond well to the drill sergeant method. I know nothing about hockey, but try to make drills into games, i.e., for baseball, challenge them to throw the ball to each other 10 times without dropping it and count it off vs. telling them to play catch and yelling at them when they're running after the ball all the time.

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Originally Posted by booner

the same kids put their backs to me and started playing with pucks.

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Originally Posted by skiballs

^coach of the year, in the hitler youth league.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

no offense intended, I love your posts, you shouldn't be coaching kids this young.

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Originally Posted by Timberridge

^^Agreed.
drill sergeant method.

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Coach to mediocrity because of two disconnected brats? Coach to the middle so the most feel good. Yeah, that's a good idea. Pussies.

^nice troll, Buttermaker.

I don't coach to win, that's for sure. Just trying to get them to progress as much as possible.

I'd say it's half "drill sergeant", half fun.

The reality is the kids don't progress at all when it's tag and simon says. They progress a ton, and quickly when we do good drills

Travel hockey is VERY competitive and these are the kids that will be thrown into all that starting next year. It's very difficult to develop good players and be the nice/fun guy at the same time.

I played at the highest level my whole life. At the time I had no idea, but the nice/fun coaches were the ones that actually shouldn't have been coaching (except for the really young kids). The tough ones all knew way more and were way better coaches. You can be tough and not be a dick. I was forward with the parents and told them I was going to be tough on the kids and told them why.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not a nazi out there (yet)...I just make sure that practices are meaningful and efficient.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

no offense intended, I love your posts, you shouldn't be coaching kids this young.

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Maybe, but guess what....nobody else wants anything to do with it

We have a ton of assistant coaches. Half of which have a clue and are capable of coaching a team. None of them want to do it.

They're all more than happy moving nets around, gathering pucks, setting up cones, etc.. but they all run the other way when asked to actually coach.
Every one of them tells me I'm crazy for doing it cause they know how difficult it is to actually teach

As a parent of three kids, two of which have played competitive sports tough coaching is fine as long as you are fair and transparent. If your kid doesn't like pressure and high expectations don't sign them up for a competive team. Most sports offer rec level if "fun" and staying engaged are the primary goals. It sucks being the bottom end of the pool in any tourney or league. If you don't implement a decent offense and defense in any competitive sport the team will suck ass and teams will start losing the better players to better teams. If this scenario bothers you don't play competitive sports. It is not a social club for the well off, contrary to popular belief in the suburbs.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

As a parent of three kids, two of which have played competitive sports tough coaching is fine as long as you are fair and transparent. If your kid doesn't like pressure and high expectations don't sign them up for a competive team. Most sports offer rec level if "fun" and staying engaged are the primary goals. It sucks being the bottom end of the pool in any tourney or league. If you don't implement a decent offense and defense in any competitive sport the team will suck ass and teams will start losing the better players to better teams. If this scenario bothers you don't play competitive sports. It is not a social club for the well off, contrary to popular belief in the suburbs.

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Tough, fair, and transparent is my motto all the way.

We're a small organization, but a good one. We lose kids to the bigger organizations all the time cause parents think their kids will do better there.

This year I've coached against 3 kids that were on my team at some point and left to go to the big city team.

I don't coach to win, but it feels real good to beat those teams, and we usually do.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

If your kid doesn't like competitive sports, find something they enjoy doing. Most sports offer rec level if "after school child care for your non-athletic child" is the primary goal and you can't be bothered to find an art program for them to participate in.

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fify5678

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Originally Posted by 4matic

Coach to mediocrity because of two disconnected brats? Coach to the middle so the most feel good. Yeah, that's a good idea. Pussies.

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sports suck and it's guys like you that give them a bad name - again no offense intended, but we are on a different page on sports

sports don't matter at any level of participation

the kids are eight years old for christ sake - it's about having fun

Ah yes...all the 8-9 yr old competitive travel and club programs are just chock full of future D1 and pro prospects. Wouldn't want to ruin their chances of being drafted in the first few rounds because some kid that will never get a full ride to college or get drafted is on the peewee team.

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Originally Posted by booner

Maybe, but guess what....nobody else wants anything to do with it

We have a ton of assistant coaches. Half of which have a clue and are capable of coaching a team. None of them want to do it.

They're all more than happy moving nets around, gathering pucks, setting up cones, etc.. but they all run the other way when asked to actually coach.
Every one of them tells me I'm crazy for doing it cause they know how difficult it is to actually teach

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is it that important? I don't think so. that's just me. getting riled up at a eight year old for not paying attention for what is basically a game is just stupid.

how many kids are you turning off to the game? I was a good player and walked because of coaches like you and started skiing. best thing I ever did as a kid was walking from a traveling team when I was 12.

I have skied utah, vt, pacific NW and california and it has been a life long avocation that has given me no end of pleasure and friends. It has led to me making career and life decisions that I have found rewarding. I just don't see that having happened with hockey

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Originally Posted by booner

We lose kids to the bigger organizations all the time cause parents think their kids will do better there.

This year I've coached against 3 kids that were on my team at some point and left to go to the big city team.

...but it feels real good to beat those teams,

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this is exactly why team sports suck at the level you are coaching at - it's about the parents and the coaches and not the kids

raise your hand if you had wimpy coaches at some point in your youth

raise your other hand if you admire those coaches, now, in retrospect

who has both hands raised?

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

raise your hand if you had wimpy coaches at some point in your youth

raise your other hand if you admire those coaches, now, in retrospect

who has both hands raised?

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the only coach I respected was my ski team coach who let us drink and smoke weed on ski trips

all the others were dumb jocks. there is nothing worse than a dumb jock

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Originally Posted by DBdude

sports suck and it's guys like you that give them a bad name - again no offense intended, but we are on a different page on sports

sports don't matter at any level of participation

the kids are eight years old for christ sake - it's about having fun

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How do you measure fun? By the two kids playing grab ass or the ones paying attention? The truth is not somewhere in the middle. I've seen coaches play the fun card all the time and it's a joke. Might as well play non-competitive earth ball with ice cream afterwards. Most kids want leadership and discipline. Even if it is 8 y/o.

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

raise your hand if you had wimpy coaches at some point in your youth

raise your other hand if you admire those coaches, now, in retrospect

who has both hands raised?

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Who even remembers that shit...it's not like any of us played for Don Shula. If you're living your life at 40 basking in the glory of your 2 goal game in 8 yr old travel and what a great coach you had, then you have issues.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

this is exactly why team sports suck at the level you are coaching at - it's about the parents and the coaches and not the kids

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You've got hockey experience. Are you using that expertise to coach a team the way you think it should be done ... or just criticizing the folks who are actually willing to volunteer their time, regardless of motivation?

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Originally Posted by 4matic

How do you measure fun? By the two kids playing grab ass or the ones paying attention? The truth is not somewhere in the middle. I've seen coaches play the fun card all the time and it's a joke. Might as well play non-competitive earth ball with ice cream afterwards. Most kids want leadership and discipline. Even if it is 8 y/o.

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that my kids want to participate. They don't like to participate when coached like you do and that is fine. They stop participating so the "chosen" can "win"

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Originally Posted by Smoova

You've got hockey experience. Are you using that expertise to coach a team the way you think it should be done ... or just criticizing the folks who are actually willing to volunteer their time, regardless of motivation?

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my family skis in the winter - no time for hockey and I didn't introduce them to the sport. I taught them to skate and they didn't take the game up - thank god

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Originally Posted by DBdude

my family skis in the winter - no time for hockey and I didn't introduce them to the sport. I taught them to skate and they didn't take the game up - thank god

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So, you coach your kids in team sports other than hockey?

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Originally Posted by Smoova

So, you coach your kids in team sports other than hockey?

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no - I don't like team sports

in the summer we swim and hike and play tennis in the winter we ski

is that a problem? Are you another former jock and team sports were your "glory" years? big man on campus in high school and all that stupid shit that goes with adolescence and fitting in?

no I didn't fit in. I was 6'6" at fourteen and awkward and clumsy. Team sports made me feel awful about my self and it was the coaches and my "fellow team members" that made me feel that way. When I skied I never felt bad, no matter how badly I did at the meets. At least I got to participate instead of warming the bench.

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Originally Posted by Timberridge

Who even remembers that shit...it's not like any of us played for Don Shula. If you're living your life at 40 basking in the glory of your 2 goal game in 8 yr old travel and what a great coach you had, then you have issues.

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not quite hitting the right notes there, the illogic dominates
unless you're aping stuckie, in which case, bullseye

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Originally Posted by DBdude

no - I don't like team sports

in the summer we swim and hike and play tennis in the winter we ski

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Good to know - I was afraid that your kids didn't like team sports ...

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Originally Posted by Smoova

Good to know - I was afraid that your kids didn't like team sports ...

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actually they don't - is that a problem? why would I coach kids in something I don't like? So I can be frustrated and an asshole like booner and turn kids off?

do I have to do everything my kids do to be a good parent? teaching them math and science and reading and tennis and skiing and hiking and beaches and rivers and lakes and canoes and kayaks aren't enough?

I have bend my career around team sports? Fuck no.

Wow, some of you are taking what I've said way out of context....big shocker

I'm very good to these kids. I constantly tell them they're doing great, even if they're not

Just because we don't play tag and do fucking snow angels on the ice doesn't mean I'm screaming at them and driving them to become draft picks...give me a fucking break. I'm just giving them the foundation they need for the next level, which is to actually learn the game...not shoot pucks against the boards all day or do relay races (although I do that when mixing in fun stuff)

I expect kids to have the respect to listen to an adult when they are teaching (not yelling at) them....that's all

And...travel hockey as a kid prepared me for "real life" more than any other experience I went through.
The team work, comradery, discipline, hard work, etc...they learn will benefit them forever.

If they're not into...fine...go do something else

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Originally Posted by booner

Wow, some of you are taking what I've said way out of context....big shocker

I'm very good to these kids. I constantly tell them they're doing great, even if they're not

Just because we don't play tag and do fucking snow angels on the ice doesn't mean I'm screaming at them and driving them to become draft picks...give me a fucking break. I'm just giving them the foundation they need for the next level, which is to actually learn the game...not shoot pucks against the boards all day or do relay races (although I do that when mixing in fun stuff)

I expect kids to have the respect to listen to an adult when they are teaching (not yelling at) them....that's all

And...travel hockey as a kid prepared me for "real life" more than any other experience I went through.

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my apologies

smoking bowls and drinking with my ski coach prepared me for life...i mean to be honest, look where you live. I'm from NY and have family an hour down the road where you live. I've lived in VT and Washington state since my mid 20's and that is because of skiing.

you forget, booner, that your detractors are in the 0.001%ile where natural athletic gifts are concerned, and they are so intuitive in everything that nothing needs explanation, they grasp all subtleties immediately as long as they're awake, and sometimes even when they're not. they excelled in everything they ever did without ever talking to, watching, listening to anyone -- and they hit such excellence within minutes of first attempt.

hell, I'd scoff too if that were me

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Originally Posted by DBdude

actually they don't - is that a problem? why would I coach kids in something I don't like? So I can be frustrated and an asshole like booner and turn kids off?

do I have to do everything my kids do to be a good parent? teaching them math and science and reading and tennis and skiing and hiking and beaches and rivers and lakes and canoes and kayaks aren't enough?

I have bend my career around team sports? Fuck no.

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Just curious about the person and experiences behind the opinions you've been posting. I'm sure you're a fine parent to your children.

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Originally Posted by Smoova

Just curious about the person and experiences behind the opinions you've been posting. I'm sure you're a fine parent to your children.

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I abhor team sports and it is from my experiences in little league and organized hockey. I was good at high school soccer and never got game time because of politics and poor coaching because nobody could pass the ball.

yes for me team sports was the worst experience of adolescence - no doubt

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Originally Posted by DBdude

actually they don't - is that a problem? why would I coach kids in something I don't like? So I can be frustrated and an asshole like booner and turn kids off?

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I'm not following the logic. You never played team sports for any length of time and don't care for them. That's fine. I'm just not sure how you make the determination of what is correct in terms of discipline requirements for a team environment.

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

you forget, booner, that your detractors are in the 0.001%ile where natural athletic gifts are concerned, and they are so intuitive in everything that nothing needs explanation, they grasp all subtleties immediately as long as they're awake, and sometimes even when they're not. they excelled in everything they ever did without ever talking to, watching, listening to anyone -- and they hit such excellence within minutes of first attempt.

hell, I'd scoff too if that were me

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what ever...

I am not athletically gifted... thank god, those few I have met that truly are disproportionately assholes

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Originally Posted by DBdude

my apologies

smoking bowls and drinking with my ski coach prepared me for life...i mean to be honest, look where you live. I'm from NY and have family an hour down the road where you live. I've lived in VT and Washington state since my mid 20's and that is because of skiing.

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I did the same too...except with golf pros. That certainly did prepare me as well

I also lived in WA for a long time and moved back here simply because it's a great place to raise a family and houses are 50% of what they are out there. I certainly miss going to Stevens all the time, but not the traffic and cost of living


I totally get that the people that aren't into team sports are going to think team sports are stupid. But guess what?...most of the kids out there with me love it. They look forward to being out there more than anything else. That's how I was, and all the kids that ended up playing with me later on were to...it was the greatest time of our lives to be out there and we all couldn't get enough of it. Shit...we all STILL play. matter of fact I play tonight and can't wait to get out there. It's not for everyone

The kids that obviously don't love it, I wish would never show up again...I feel bad for them and have some not so pleasant feelings towards their parents that make them do it. I only have one of these kids and I'd like to smack the shit out of his parents, but I can't....cause they don't even come into the rink

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Originally Posted by 4matic

I'm not following the logic. You never played team sports for any length of time and don't care for them. That's fine. I'm just not sure how you make the determination of what is correct in terms of discipline requirements for a team environment.

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eight year olds don't need discipline in sports - they are babies

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Originally Posted by DBdude

what ever...

I am not athletically gifted... thank god, those few I have met that truly are disproportionately assholes

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I'm empathetic to a degree, though a very minor degree. You see, I am apathetic about athletic apathy.

Maybe it's about whether that drive comes from the kid participating, or is foist on the kid by a parent who wants the kid to be otherwise -- and the poor coach is left in the middle?

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Originally Posted by DBdude

eight year olds don't need discipline in sports - they are babies

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If that's their level of interest, why the uniforms, coaches, lined fields, scheduled practices, scheduled games? Why not just play for fun after school? Gosh, such challenging issues!

HEY! BOBBY! YOU OVER THERE, THE SMITH BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH SUCH INTENSITY! YOU'RE INTIMIDATING MY SON!

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Originally Posted by booner

I did the same too...except with golf pros. That certainly did prepare me as well

I also lived in WA for a long time and moved back here simply because it's a great place to raise a family and houses are 50% of what they are out there. I certainly miss going to Stevens all the time, but not the traffic and cost of living


I totally get that the people that aren't into team sports are going to think team sports are stupid. But guess what?...most of the kids out there with me love it. They look forward to being out there more than anything else. That's how I was, ad all the kids that ended up playing with me later on were to...it was the greatest time of our lives to be out there.

The kids that obviously don't love it, I wish would never show up again...I feel bad for them and have some not so pleasant feelings towards their parents that make them do it. I only have one of these kids and I'd like to smack the shit out of his parents, but I can't....cause they don't even come into the rink

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I agree, I had an altercation with a coach and pulled my kid. I think it is in this thread. I go to the events. I know I am not a coach and my kids don't really like team sports and I am sure they pick it up from me. It is what it is. I never push them. No you started it finish it.

My oldest is 12, built like me. 95 percentile height, 50 percentile weight. His basketball coach keeps asking him to come out again. He played four years after school, one year AAU.

He hated it. He is not aggressive with his body and tenative (like I was) and grew to hate being told to stand under the basket and rebound and pass the ball then run to the other end, stand under the basket and rebound and then pass the ball.

nobody ever passed back and he knew why and it bugged him and he walked from the game. he will never play again. same shit in soccer. now he runs cross country and is looking forward to track and we ski in the winter.

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

I'm empathetic to a degree, though a very minor degree. You see, I am apathetic about athletic apathy.

Maybe it's about whether that drive comes from the kid participating, or is foist on the kid by a parent who wants the kid to be otherwise -- and the poor coach is left in the middle?



If that's their level of interest, why the uniforms, coaches, lined fields, scheduled practices, scheduled games? Why not just play for fun after school? Gosh, such challenging issues!

HEY! BOBBY! YOU OVER THERE, THE SMITH BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH SUCH INTENSITY! YOU'RE INTIMIDATING MY SON!

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exactly - it's for fun after school - that is the level he plays at - and some of the coaches don't get it. no club team - I wouldn't allow it - he is too young

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Originally Posted by DBdude

I abhor team sports and it is from my experiences in little league and organized hockey. I was good at high school soccer and never got game time because of politics and poor coaching because nobody could pass the ball.

yes for me team sports was the worst experience of adolescence - no doubt

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It's interesting how different peoples' experiences can be - I was a relatively poor youth player and was cut from or had limited playing time on competitive teams in several different sports. While I was pretty sore at the time, those experiences, and the motivation to improve that they provided, proved invaluable as I grew older. That said, I never had a coach who taught me how to drink beer and smoke weed.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

exactly - it's for fun after school - that is the level he plays at - and some of the coaches don't get it.

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I'm not sure it's the coaches who don't get it.

it sounds like your son isn't a universal athlete -- whether by talent, or by inclination, it doesn't matter. so what? he found some things he likes. if the coaches wanted him to play with more aggression or assertiveness than he has, or could muster, that's not the coaches' fault. the coach wants someone suitable for the team, he's not a life coach or community therapist who's there to rehabilitate timid kids through athletic participation. you sorta have to have the ground level skills and drive to play if you want to play in organized fashion, and if you don't, lots of opportunity to do things like shoot baskets casually.

this reminds me of parents who expect schools to be parents, this stuff about "coaches asking too much" when they're only seeking basic competence/drive, it's asking them to help your kids learn to be self-confident. that's pretty much your job, not theirs.

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

I'm not sure it's the coaches who don't get it.

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I get it really well asshole. you were the kind of cunt i despised and still do