Neighbors...

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Originally Posted by HellgateBasement

We're experiencing some birdseed terrorism at our new apartment rental that made me think of this thread. The flat roofline of our ground floor unit sticks out past the exterior wall of the upstairs neighbor, and we have skylights in each of the bedrooms back there - including directly over our bed. Pretty much every morning since we moved in we've woken up to the (late 40's?) couple upstairs throwing birdseed onto the flat roof, attracting a flock of pigeons that loudly stomp around on and shit all over the skylights. The landlord apparently had the same issue with them before so they know it's disruptive. I'm trying to get into some kind of a zen mental state before I go over there, but we're expecting our first kid in a month, and if these fucking pigeons wake him up everyday I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

/rant

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Dogshit under the door handle. Duh.

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Originally Posted by HellgateBasement

We're experiencing some birdseed terrorism at our new apartment rental that made me think of this thread. The flat roofline of our ground floor unit sticks out past the exterior wall of the upstairs neighbor, and we have skylights in each of the bedrooms back there - including directly over our bed. Pretty much every morning since we moved in we've woken up to the (late 40's?) couple upstairs throwing birdseed onto the flat roof, attracting a flock of pigeons that loudly stomp around on and shit all over the skylights. The landlord apparently had the same issue with them before so they know it's disruptive. I'm trying to get into some kind of a zen mental state before I go over there, but we're expecting our first kid in a month, and if these fucking pigeons wake him up everyday I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

/rant

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Just leave a loaf of bread at their front door everyday before they wake up. 9/10 pigeons prefer white spongy bread over seeds.

Or you could tell them to just hang a birdfeeder to attract something other than flying rats and not be an inconsiderate fuck

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the answer is arson.

Fence the perimeter of the roof, keep chickens up there. Let the neighbors feed your chickens.

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Originally Posted by brutah

the answer is arson.

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I like the way you think :yourock:

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Originally Posted by El Chupacabra

Fence the perimeter of the roof, keep chickens up there. Let the neighbors feed your chickens.

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https://media.giphy.com/media/26tk1p...PQhW/giphy.gif

My chicken's breath smells like chicken food!

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

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Or simply trebuchet all your kitchen waste on top of their roof.

If they complain, tell them you're composting and ask why they hate Mother Earth so much.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

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Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

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Originally Posted by HellgateBasement

Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

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Try one of those plastic owls on your roof perhaps? Put it on a convex base so it moves a bit in the breeze.

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Originally Posted by El Chupacabra

Or simply trebuchet all your kitchen waste on top of their roof.

If they complain, tell them you're composting and ask why they hate Mother Earth so much.

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Pay careful attention to this man. Never slingshot or catapult when you can trebuchet.

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Originally Posted by BCMtnHound

Try one of those plastic owls on your roof perhaps? Put it on a convex base so it moves a bit in the breeze.

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Put a couple of those plastic owls up there on motorized rotating pedestals. Place a mirror behind the owls, opposite the neighbors' direction. Place a strobe light shining towards the owls and the mirror. Bonus points for working in a disco ball into the mix.

Plug everything into a light timer, so the disco strobe owls are well illuminated for your neighbors' enjoyment all night long.

If the neighbors complain, tell them in a somber voice, "the owls are not what they seem."

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Originally Posted by riser3

Dogshit under the door handle. Duh.

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Teslas ruined that fun…

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Originally Posted by HellgateBasement

Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

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Do you own or have access to a drone ? I think kitchen scrap in your neighbors roof is a pretty solid idea. Just like 6-8 oz a day for 3 week straight should get the idea across or just a friendly knock on the door with a neighborly request. If they drink beer/wine just a sixer or a bottle of wine as a olive branch might help you out if your planning on being there for awhile.
If they say no then is Mf'n game on........

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Originally Posted by brutah

the answer is arson.

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It’s only arson if you’re sloppy


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Originally Posted by mcphee

It’s only arson if you’re sloppy


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But how do you light the pigeons on fire and make it look like suicide?

Lasers.

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Originally Posted by rideit

Teslas ruined that fun…

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Who says I was talking about their car?

Did you try to politely ask them to stop like a normal human?


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Originally Posted by PB

Jewish Space Lasers.

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FIFY

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Originally Posted by nickwm21

Did you try to politely ask them to stop like a normal human?


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Don’t be a fun sponge


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Originally Posted by HellgateBasement

a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here.

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I’ve got a spare. PM your address.

Attachment 401885


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As a retired real estate attorney i had client's come in with neighbor problems all the time. I figured out quickly that asshole neighbors are the worst since there are usually no effective legal remedies. I strongly suggest to always get a survey when buying real estate unless the seller can show you the property corner pins. Why would you buy something for a shit load of $ if the seller cannot show you what you are actually getting? Driveways or fences over property lines are very common. Multiple times I saw buildings encroaching over property lines. Don't trust people to know where their property boundaries are. Always better to make the seller remedy the issue. The last thing is to actually read the Covenants if there are some, and think through the implications.

People always ask me if they need to hire a lawyer when buying real estate (only about 15% do). My answer was "No, but I make a lot less money off the people who hired me before they bought the property than the ones who hired me after." Dealer's choice. Unless you understand the "Exceptions" in your title insurance policy you may be buying legal problems along with your property. Do not trust your realtor to make sure everything is OK. It always amazed me how many people would put more time and research into buying a stereo or car than a house.

How do I get rid of the homeless people in front of my office?

They are already feeding the geese.

I don't have a high powered laser.

My father in law loved his xmas gift but my mother in law didn't. Therefore I do have one of these but I think its an extreme solution I might get in trouble with it.

Attachment 401891

Attachment 401894

They will steal plywood and live on top of that.

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Originally Posted by exsparky

They will steal plywood and live on top of that.

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Yep, I was about to say that. Portland put boulders under overpasses in a few strategic spots, and now there are tents on pallet foundations on the boulders.

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Originally Posted by Mudfoot

Don't trust people to know where their property boundaries are.

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QFT

I just found this out when I was home for xmas but thought it was pretty funny considering my dad is one of the least confrontational people I’ve ever met.

We moved across town when I was in 6th grade, our neighbor was a dick, and I knew it at the time. Apparently when we built a shed directly adjacent to the driveway dick neighbor comes over to inform my dad that he built the shed over the property lines. Little did dick neighbor know, my dad had already had the property line verified and shed approved. When dad informed him of this he said it was bullshit, so my dad put up a fence on the real property line, which was about 40ft past the shed.

There are monuments in four places but my property has six corners. I have an nth gen photocopy of a faded drawing showing measurements between six pins with angles.
But no longitude/latitude. There is a way overgrown cedar hedge that approximates the boundary in question. It hasn't been an issue so far. But I am sure that could change. We're on the 3rd property owner next door in 20 years and they are pretty cool. I guess whomever sells first will have to get a survey done. And I suppose I should try harder to find those two missing monuments.

[QUOTE=dan_pdx;6518330]Yep, I was about to say that. Portland put boulders under overpasses in a few strategic spots, and now there are tents on pallet foundations on the boulders.[/QUOI

it's called "elevated living- a cut above"..............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xvsz__iZYU

The only way to deal with asshole neighbors is to be the asshole neighbor.

Been there done that
Not going to do that again
People get really bothered these days by being treated nicely, it’s more fun this way lately ;)

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Originally Posted by old goat

The only way to deal with asshole neighbors is to be the asshole neighbor.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TRUnJ5JlYw

Anybody know what flag this is?
It’s a gold USA on a white background with a dark banner through it.
Redneck part-time neighbors put it up FYI, they also have a blue lives matter flag.
Attachment 425513

The national flag of Freedonia

Maybe the flag of the local militia group? Ask the neighbors about it when you bring them a cake, and report back. I'd start with "That looks like the flag we made for my Boy Scout patrol. What's it for?"

What is that on the flag? A gerbil?