You ok? I'll be in this position with my dad within a few months. Not looking forward to it.
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You ok? I'll be in this position with my dad within a few months. Not looking forward to it.
Hugs liv2ski
It sucks. But no one gets out of here alive
Cliché
Of course.
Ya, I'm ok, thanks. Relieved actually as it has been so hard for her. Why do we make it so hard for a sick person to die?
The only answer that I came to is because a person has assets… a pet does not. In this instance we treat pets better than people.
I went through this with my Mom a year ago or so… very frustrating.
Wishing you both comfort and peace.
Best wishes to you and your mom. The last visit I had with mine it was obvious what it was. I will never regret that last trip and the final hug.Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
Wishing kindness and peace for you and yours, l2s.
Sad to hear about the EOL bureaucracy issues.
Caring for your ailing parents is one of the greatest previlage in life. Helping them walk to the finish line together is the ultimate duty as a child if your lucky enough to be there.
:frown:Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
With exception to Dylan Thomas - may she go gentle into that good night
Wife is back in the UK visiting her father in hospital after a fairly major stroke. Doesn't sound like he's going home again, discussions about long term care after hospital get him stabilized. He's only 75 in years but closer to 90 in age.
x~Quote:
Originally Posted by fatnslow
Should one be in such a position it's also a great example for your children.
Best wishes liv2ski. Hope things are as good as they can be.
Thanks all. She went peacefully in about 20 minutes after drinking that potion. I hope per her beliefs, that she is in a much better place now with her mom and my sister.
So happy to be home with my wife, 2 doggies and 3 kitties.
Condolences, l2s. Sure wish we could, as a species, get on board with this type of dignified route.Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
https://youtu.be/YowBZTRiJpA
We treat our dogs better. VSED is an option that's legal in all 50 states with no red tape attached: https://www.compassionandchoices.org/our-issues/vsedQuote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
My condolences.Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
My dad chose the same route a few years ago (ALS took him down in under a year). Initially it hurt like hell but after spending time with him his decision was the correct one and I'm glad I was there with him and he was finally pain free.
My grandmothers version: “ you know what they say about the golden years? Well it’s a bunch of shit.”Quote:
Originally Posted by TNKen
She passed at 86 about 15 years ago.
Reading this thread for the first time, all of it. Grateful for the sharing that takes place in this kooky corner of the interwebz.
I’m 59 and between my brothers family, my lady and my own we’ve got seven elders in our world and shit is getting real.
We’ve got one in memory care, one just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, another with increasing memory and balance issues. All are 80+ and it feels like they’re accelerating in the aging process.
Vibes to all of us as we navigate the circle of life
Sent from the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen
my Condolences l2s.
peace. With love
tj
per ticketchecker, There definitely can seem to be apparent 'acceleration' as End of Life approaches -
I cherish the Time I had with my parents in the last year of their lives
( not everyone is as fortunate. And not everyone would see it that way... )
Please
Do what you can for your parents < you will Not regret it
( And if you can't do anything, That's okay, Too ! !!
... try not to have regrets --
Each relationship is unique, And Only You can decide what is Right for You. !
Good luck.
( The End finally only comes once. )
tj
You're a wise man SkiJ
Very sad to read this liv2ski. Best wishes for your family.
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That we might all go so peacefully when we decide.Quote:
Originally Posted by liv2ski
Nope, the bullshit she had to go through to get there was untenable. I am buying a 9mm next week to end it. No fuckin way will I deal with what she had to.
Vibes. I had mixed thoughts during and after going through similar with my mom 2 years ago. Guilty feelings for being glad it was finally over for her.... and me.. latter part was where the guilt was coming from. Then I realized she was likely also glad it was over for everyone.. with my dad, rest of her family, pets that crossed the rainbow bridge over the years.. etc.. Be glad for the good life she had before it got shitty. +1 to the exit strategy for an uncurable and debilitating condition.. I do NOT want to be a burden on others..
Good luck to all with the end of life journeys of your parents!!!.. I had one parent who was lucky to die at home at 97....another was less fortunate and died in a nursing home after a stay of a few years.....I am lucky enough that my parents, my 3 siblings and I, agreed on how to deal with the issues.
I think a couple tanks of helium and some exit bags are a good option for anyone nearing death.
A 9mm is certainly easy to obtain but I think adds to the burden on those you leave behind.
My 80 y/o dad has maybe one or two friends left. The last friend of his who died used a handgun shortly after a cancer diagnosis, not wanting to be “sick” after a lifetime of excellent health. I get it, but I think knowing how he went out makes it sting more for my dad.
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My dad has chosen to just let himself fade away. He decided that he's sick of spending 2 weeks at a time laying around hospital ERs dealing with UTIs. He gets one a few times a year and he's so antibiotic resistant that they have to give him some crazy super juices intravenously, it takes 10 days to get the culture back then at least a few days for them to confirm it's working before they'll release him so it 14-16 days at a time in the hospital. Where he lives the places are so busy he doesn't even get a room just a bed in a hallway or recess along with dozens of other seniors and he's sick of it. Tired of docs that suck, tired of always being sick and weak, tired of not being able to leave medical caregivers for more than a few hours... He's giving up. He signed up with hospice and stopped taking his meds other than insulin and painkillers, he got a wheelchair so he doesn't even have to get up other than to get on and off the fukn toilet. It's just a matter of time now :(
Yeah, I want narcotics, lots of narcotics and float out on a cloud.Quote:
Originally Posted by house
I'm so sorry for both of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by gravitylover
There is a hospice nurse who does tictoks (I see them on FB reels) I'll see if I can find her link. She is wonderful and so uplifting. I find it reassuring and helpful, maybe you all will also.
Found her - here is one of her reels:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/2118233058521667
Very sorry.
I went through this and my Mother finally passed earlier this year.
It's been hard to grieve the loss with all of the "have to do 's" regarding the estate afterwards.
Too much insulin ain’t a bad way to go out either if you happen to be diabeticQuote:
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
My dad lived to 89 and had significant medical issues the last 10 years or so and was a frequent flyer at the hospital, but he said the worst thing was outliving all his friends
Yeah the after stuff is almost worse. My mother is still alive but in rehab. When she gets out she will go to assisted living. I'm supposed to be cleaning out her apartment but it's hard. What to keep, what to throw out.....decisions I don't want to make.Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnF
My grandmother lived to be 102 and said the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mcski
The insulin might kill you or it might just wreck the brain.Quote:
Originally Posted by mcski
Thanks. I'm gonna go see him tomorrow and work through some stuff before he really starts to fade. I know he's been upping the painkillers and yesterday he sounded thoroughly exhausted so, how much longer.
Damnit
Vibes liv2ski.
My mother bounces back from the dead every yr. Her aorta blew out about 5 yrs ago. This yr I thought it was good for,p good, but she made it again. She’s got a bag in-place of a stomach now. I’m keeping my life simple, because it won’t be long now.
This. Fentanyl is available very cheap. Nap time ..Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
This - kind of like when we put down our furkids.Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
Deep condolences liv2ski. Despite the bullshit you/she had to deal with, at least she had that choice.
My mom died of terminal cancer in 1994, three years before OR passed its Death with Dignity Act. It was a fuckin rough two years on everyone, esp my dad.
Happy for you that you got to spend those last days with her, and see her off.
Thanks again guys and sorry to hear about your mom's situation TBS. That is tough.
Condolences liv2ski. Lotsa good on you for seeing her through all that.
My mom slowly wasted away in a hospital bed 3200 miles away a few years ago. It sucked.