Quote:
Originally posted by Walter Sobchak
I'm a Republican now.
I heart George W. Bush.
The administration's like one big happy family to me and I don't want to see my new family broken up over anything.
Rummy's like the grumpy old grandaddy I never had.
Condi and Colin both seem much friendlier and more approachable than the negroes I see out on the street.
Behind that twisted sneer Dick Cheney has a heart of gold, and since you never see him or hear from him you know he must be working hard to keep all of us safe.
I've never been happier with the direction of our country, at home or abroad. Bring 'em on, I say. Bring 'em on.
Please consider the following:
Under Saddam it was a crime punishable by death to be gay. Imagine the repression that caused in gay Iraqis. Even fluttering your lashes at almond-eyed Omar would take a ton of courage, let alone dropping trou and rubbing roots. So did you ever think that piling naked Iraqis on top of each other was maybe a way of showing them that they now have the freedom to be swishified, sexually deviant homosexuals? Would you hold that the freedom of man-on-man prison sex, a cherished American institution, is a freedom that we should deny the Iraqis? Perhaps they needed a little prodding, and tying, and leashing, and even beating to get there, but sometimes that's just how spreading and encouraging freedom and democracy has to go. It's not always easy doing the will of the higher father.
Also, everyone agrees that Iraq needed a transitional period leading up to full democracy. We all know we couldn't have "democratic" "elections" with Iraqis "voting" right away since they all speak Arab and don't have any of those words. So how could we be expected to immediately do away with the Iraqi staples of prison torture and humiliation? It would be too much of a culture shock. I'm sure the Bush administration had concrete plans to slowly phase out torture in the months leading up to the handover of governance to Iraqis, and that documents showing this will come to light soon.
Please consider these things. I hope that you can share my pride in the work we've done in Iraq. Being better than Saddam was a lofty goal, but by God we've met that goal, and me and my fellow Republicans will be there at every turn to remind you of that.
And please consider helping to reelect my hero, George W. Bush.
Good night, and God Bless.
Had to preserve this one. Classic.... 