A lot of things need to be vetted at my job right now. It was my impression that horses and people were vetted, but apparently you can vet anything you want.
I used "feather in our caps" once a couple years ago. Now my boss and her boss use it fucking daily, and often in the wrong context. The karmic gods of bizspeak don't mess around.
My boss caught me levitating the other day. That's what I get for facilitating and leveraging at the same time. And here I thought I was maximizing my value added efficiencies.
Heard these two gems during a data governance forum, which was as painful as it sounds.
In response to... who knows, I wasn't paying attention: "we need to expose more sausage." I. shit. you. not. I can't even begin to decode this one.... what the fuck does that even mean?
lets drive to a standard, that get's leveraged by the business. Oh my god I can't type fast enough to get them all in, ha ah!... Sausage lady is talking again, this should be good :\
the business architecture umbrella
what is the hygiene around that?
match our cadence with the rhythm of the business
what are the impacts, so we can right-size the delivery mechanism.
I can't keep a straight face anymore.
Sounds like she's looking for some action.
I used to spend a fair a,punt of time in meetings with no- native English (American) speakers. I can't imagine what this must be like for them.
...and you handed them your phone to make this post?Quote:
Originally Posted by OldLarry
The funneh being efforted well in the most recent cycle of this thread.
I lol- ed. Or, ror- ed, as it were...Quote:
Originally Posted by Hutch
WTF? Total comic mishit, or the crowning moment of ironic-insane-strangeness-and-randomness-as-marketing-tool strategy?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
Proof that most of Silicon Valley is on drugs.
The new face of Qualcomm?
Attachment 129973
this one's pretty good:
http://i.imgur.com/kFTuS.gif
it would be better if it were an iPad though.
benny - a tip - neither qualcomm nor Microsoft are based anywhere near silicon valley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
Yeah, but, isn't that the the Middle Earth of that whole culture?
no, wall street is now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Benny Profane
The word I've been hating on as we have a new super-boss is "robust".
Turn on any NFL playoff game and drink everytime one of the douche announcers says "wheelhouse". You will be hammered by the end of the day.
If "impactful" is actually a word it shouldn't fucking be because it sounds stupid as shit.
If I hear the word "piggyback", as in "I just want to piggyback on what fucktard said...", I am going to fucking lose it.
Seriously, Milton style.
Tell me you hacked that together and made it up. Qcom's actually not a bad company but that was pure shiteQuote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
This one's cross posted from Tech Talk:
http://www.outsideonline.com/blog/bl...l-apparel.html
That's so 90's. Probably coming back in style.Quote:
Originally Posted by bite me
"Please cascade this email to all appropriate personnel."
Can anyone tell me where to find the "cascade" function in Outlook?
It probably looks like this Crap = Shit rolls down hill?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Cascade
The unbridled act of shooting one's semen (via ejaculation) onto a woman's breast and letting it trickle down on the lower regions of her anatomy.
Sure thing boss. Where do you want to do this?
Still think "socialize" is one of my favorite douche speak words. Like "should we socialize this with legal?"
A guy I work with continually says "to your point". I think it borders on a nervous tick.
"Breakout session". Oh do you mean another fucking meeting?
Recently had a dude call a "Tiger Team" meeting...
With a straight face.
What the fuck does that mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw
tiger team? do you work for kelloggQuote:
Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw
but also one of our older traders calls me "tiger" and " kiddo" all the time
not biz speak
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Tiger+teamQuote:
Originally Posted by abraham
Got it:Quote:
Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw
Quote:
The latest limp-dick business euphemism for low-paid cubicle slaves working overtime (unpaid) on Boss Man's faux-important "project."
Except that your mom was there, and she never works for free.Quote:
Originally Posted by abraham
I even remembered my punch card and didn't get my tenth one free.
See also: penetration testQuote:
Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw
Zing!Quote:
Originally Posted by baby bear
didn't read through this thread (I would kill myself if I did) but I had a boss whose go to line was "let's channel our energy…"
My fucking boss...thinks it's so cute...to reply to everything...with dot dot dots...then he ends the email...with dot dot dots....