Private School or Public School

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Originally Posted by bodywhomper

^^^ A lot can change in 8 years.

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My dad was a public school superintendent and his maxim was in 5 yrs theres a lot of change. He was pretty spot on from what I’ve seen around our district

I had a horrible freshman year at a Jesuit HS. Got pretty much Cs and Ds. Switched to a decent suburban public HS for sophomore year. Grades got a little better that year and took off my Jr yr. Mainly because a single teacher saw some ability and encouraged me. There’s a lot of downsides to some of the private schools that are not always obvious.

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Originally Posted by Gerome

I'll be looking at private high schools soon even though my son is only in first grade. We have him in one of the best public elementary schools in Sacramento. The public middle school is good as well. But a conversation with a high school health professional at my gym has me reconsider the Sacramento high schools. He said that half of the 600 graduating students at his high school don't get diplomas, that they receive a certificate of attendance. Of the 300 students getting diplomas, only 80 of them qualify for a 4 year university. The amount of behavioral problems the other students cause means there's no time to teach the curriculum. And when they go to hire teachers, they pass on the teacher with decades of experience for the college graduate with no experience as they only consider the starting salary to save $30K.

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Would your kid be attending that high school ? That's a very tunnel visions statement about one particular high school. My guess is the school is probably in an area with lower socioeconomic setting. I'm not opposed to private schools by any means but judging a school district based on a statement of an employee at one high school seems a bit tunnel visioned. My guess is in the greater Sac area there are some fine public high schools that crank out better numbers than what you have been quoted. Keep in mind in 11 years ALOT can change , especially if you have rapid gentrification where parents embrace public education.
I have 3 kids that graduated from an urban high school with some mixed numbers but they have a strong IB program and all three have done very well in college. In our local school you can be as much of a fuck us as you want or end up going to the truly top tier colleges in the US. My oldest/youngest both went to State schools because that's what they want ed. My middle was a over worked, high achiever that went to a fairly prestigious college along with 5-6 kids from her classes ending up at Stanford and Harvard. It's all what you make of it and help your kids curiosity grow.
Having seen friends who kids have attended private high schools they tend to me similar.im curriculum. The main difference I observed was the socioeconomic/diversity is much more in the middle.
As long as you have a kid with natural curiosity with appetite for learning they will thrive in most settings as long as the parents are willing to help the process especially in the early years. I don't actually remember telling any of my kids to study after about 6-7th grade so was very lucky.

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Originally Posted by Gerome

I'll be looking at private high schools soon even though my son is only in first grade. We have him in one of the best public elementary schools in Sacramento. The public middle school is good as well. But a conversation with a high school health professional at my gym has me reconsider the Sacramento high schools. He said that half of the 600 graduating students at his high school don't get diplomas, that they receive a certificate of attendance. Of the 300 students getting diplomas, only 80 of them qualify for a 4 year university. The amount of behavioral problems the other students cause means there's no time to teach the curriculum. And when they go to hire teachers, they pass on the teacher with decades of experience for the college graduate with no experience as they only consider the starting salary to save $30K.

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That high school sounds ghetto as fuck. So if that is your feeder school, you must also live in a socioeconomically depressed area... but then how can you afford +$150k for high school? Something isnt adding up here.

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Originally Posted by californiagrown

That high school sounds ghetto as fuck. So if that is your feeder school, you must also live in a socioeconomically depressed area... but then how can you afford +$150k for high school? Something isnt adding up here.

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Not necessarily. There are absolutely public schools that fit this bill outside economically depressed areas, especially with the accelerated gentrification we've all seen. While this sounds pretty bad, many of the metro PDX schools were similar back in the day. Not sure about now...

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

Not necessarily. There are absolutely public schools that fit this bill outside economically depressed areas, especially with the accelerated gentrification we've all seen. While this sounds pretty bad, many of the metro PDX schools were similar back in the day. Not sure about now...

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I'm a native PDX kid since the early 70's and thing have NEVER been that bad across the board. If you lived in the burbs of PDX there has always been fear of the urban environment.West side always thumbed their noses to the east side but it's just 60 year old perception . My kids went to college with quite a few kids that were straight up afraid of coming into the city because their families watched too much TV and thought they were going to get car jacked and then sexually traffic'd.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

I'm a native PDX kid since the early 70's and thing have NEVER been that bad across the board. If you lived in the burbs of PDX there has always been fear of the urban environment.West side always thumbed their noses to the east side but it's just 60 year old perception . My kids went to college with quite a few kids that were straight up afraid of coming into the city because their families watched too much TV and thought they were going to get car jacked and then sexually traffic'd.

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I didn't say across the board. Schools like Lincoln/Grant/Wilson etc certainly didn't have that sort of issue.

And we were west siders but my sister went to school at Humboldt...I don't think all of us westies were thumbing noses. I'm also not aware of anyone believing that they were going to be sexually trafficked. Step on a needle and die of AIDS? Definitely.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

I didn't say across the board. Schools like Lincoln/Grant/Wilson etc certainly didn't have that sort of issue.

And we were west siders but my sister went to school at Humboldt...I don't think all of us westies were thumbing noses. I'm also not aware of anyone believing that they were going to be sexually trafficked. Step on a needle and die of AIDS? Definitely.

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Not pointing at you, just repeating some stupid shit I have heard people from the burbs say. I was a west side kid until I was an adult with certain biases myself.

Public.

Worried about the local options? Get involved. Coach a sport. Start a ski bus. Help get a club going; guarantee there are teachers there that will help. Join or start a booster club. Don’t have much time, then talk others in to joining you and sharing the load. Pay attention to school board elections.

A free and compulsory education is one of the greatest experiments of democracy and our collective future hinges on its success. Get your kid in the arena and they will be better for it.

This thread is comical.

They’re shitheads and superstars at every school. All these anecdotal stories don’t mean shit.

No one has brought up the most important factor - the kids friends. The Curriculum, teachers, the brick and mortar, the programs, the athletics don’t carry nearly the same weight on your child’s success as their peer group does.

Unfortunately, like everything in America - It all comes down to money. Spend more money to send your kid to a private school or live in the fancier part of town where the schools are “better” then that means your kid is going to be friends with kids who’s parents spent more money…..


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Originally Posted by nickwm21

This thread is comical.

They’re shitheads and superstars at every school. All these anecdotal stories don’t mean shit.

No one has brought up the most important factor - the kids friends. The Curriculum, teachers, the brick and mortar, the programs, the athletics don’t carry nearly the same weight on your child’s success as their peer group does.

Unfortunately, like everything in America - It all comes down to money. Spend more money to send your kid to a private school or live in the fancier part of town where the schools are “better” then that means your kid is going to be friends with kids who’s parents spent more money…..


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I got a full ride to a private school for HS. I didn't have any friends, commuted 2 hours each way every day, and can't tell you a single name of a person that I went to school with, except for the teachers.

I don't know what to tell you about that, but it's the truth.

There were a series of articles in the Seattle Times early last year describing how people with money pulled their kids out of Puget Sound area public schools and put them in private schools and home schooled during CoVID and the following years (and their associated behavioral issues) and haven't put them back in public schools. Seems like that's a recipe for disaster in the long run, but I'm sympathetic to parents looking a schools not serving their kids needs and looking elsewhere.

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

I got a full ride to a private school for HS. I didn't have any friends, commuted 2 hours each way every day, and can't tell you a single name of a person that I went to school with, except for the teachers.

I don't know what to tell you about that, but it's the truth.

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Exact opposite here. This guy was in my kindergarten class. We are both in our 60s in this pic.

Attachment 483858
Him= left, me=right


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6 years with the same kids in my class and I can remember all the names and something about each person. But I haven't seen any of them in ages.

Attachment 483861

Gonna be sending junior off to school in the next few years. I was talking with my neighbors whose daughter is the same age- they are both middle school teachers in neighboring school districts. They were saying that homework isnt a thing anymore. Apparently teachers are not allowed to give out homework in many cases, and in others they are severely limited in the amount they can give out. Parents of TGR, are you seeing this happen to your kids? I understand the pushback on HEAVY homework loads on kids that us millenials dealt with (2-3 hours per night), but apparently the pendulum has swung wildly the other way. I was a kid who never learned in classrooms, i had to work it out on my own and if not for homework i would have been screwed. Are the smart kids just going to afterschool tutoring like Kumon, etc? Whats the deal with school these days?

Dang really? Homework was my academic weak spot. I just didn't do it but could ace tests. I'd crush school today sounds like!

I was never a big fan of the ridiculous homework loads put on my children. I mean maybe an hour but 3 hours or four, it's just silly.
My biggest concerns are the social aspects of school and all the bad input kids get from their peers. If money was no object, I would have the kids go to a private school that did not allow phones on campus. I know myself and my oldest daughter got into lots of mischief come Middle School and I really think many private schools would have limited our dumb shitness.

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If you are looking into SPS, I will say that The pendulum is finally swinging back a little to cater to better advanced learning. It took a hit for the last 5 years with an emphasis on equity, which really meant just dumbing everything down for everyone. Enough people started going private that they got the message I think. You will probably get a little more rigor at private schools around here, but you'll also be paying 25 to $40,000 a year. You may find sticking with public and supplementing with a tutor to push them a little further maybe the smartest option. My high schooler has plenty of honors and AP options so no problems there.

Both of our kids middle and high schools do emphasize phones away, but particularly the middle school where they are essentially banned during the day, even during lunch.

We were one of the many that left Seattle Public Schools for private during COVID. Two of our kids were in the HCC (the highest level of advanced learning), one certainly would have been. We are back. We tried two different privates, one of them very highly regarded. They were all just as shitty and rigorous as our local public option. We just threw our hands up and figured our kids will be fine and the money will be far better spent enriching their lives in other ways. I share the sentiment that you are really buying a friend group- the social climbing scene was not for us as parents nor for our kids.

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Originally Posted by summit

Dang really? Homework was my academic weak spot. I just didn't do it but could ace tests. I'd crush school today sounds like!

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I’d do homework in class while listening to the lectures in high school. I don’t think I had more than one or two nights of homework for four years. My parents thought I might be slacking but I graduated with a three nine seven GPA.

Every kid is different and I’ve seen my friends and coworkers kids go to school both public and private and they fail, thrive or just get by regardless of the setting. It’s about family, friends and the individual child. Raise them to value hard work and community, teach them to be selfless and kind and you’ll be a successful parent.

Adding the tutor is a discount vs private, but it a time commitment in their limited time.

I went to public and various private (not boarding). The private was good for me. Private schools are cray expensive, it's like 4x what it was when I went well over 2x inflation.

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Originally Posted by liv2ski

I was never a big fan of the ridiculous homework loads put on my children. I mean maybe an hour but 3 hours or four, it's just silly. My biggest concerns are the social aspects of school and all the bad input kids get from their peers. If money was no object, I would have the kids go to a private school that did not allow phones on campus. I know myself and my oldest daughter got into lots of mischief come Middle School and I really think many private schools would have limited our dumb shitness. Sent from my moto g stylus 5G (2022) using Tapatalk

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Ha! As if! Dude, when i ended up in private school, cell phones were not even an engineers wet dream yet... but i can assure you, our dumb shitness proceeded at an alarming pace. Shenanigans indeed took precedence over our academic endeavours.

Concur. I was much more of a delinquent during my brief foray at a Jesuit-pedo high school. Plenty of shitty behavior and before even a glimmer of the internet

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Originally Posted by californiagrown

Gonna be sending junior off to school in the next few years. I was talking with my neighbors whose daughter is the same age- they are both middle school teachers in neighboring school districts. They were saying that homework isnt a thing anymore. Apparently teachers are not allowed to give out homework in many cases, and in others they are severely limited in the amount they can give out. Parents of TGR, are you seeing this happen to your kids? I understand the pushback on HEAVY homework loads on kids that us millenials dealt with (2-3 hours per night), but apparently the pendulum has swung wildly the other way. I was a kid who never learned in classrooms, i had to work it out on my own and if not for homework i would have been screwed. Are the smart kids just going to afterschool tutoring like Kumon, etc? Whats the deal with school these days?

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Legit concern but at this point i am far more concerned with scienced based teaching methods, no phones in school, class size (especially elementary), how they handle disruptive students and the ability for kids to advance beyond the lowest common denominator student.

I have 4 grandkids in 2 different highschools and homework has gone the way of inkwells in school. Their grades are way above average so it isnt genetic, must be the teachers.

If going to public high school really take a look at the courses your kids are signed up for. Honors and Advanced will generally get you out of gen pop. The dye is mostly cast by the time they start 9th grade IMO regarding what classes they are taking and what they will be taking come 11th and 12th grade and I think colleges really look at this when applying. I found with my kids (public HS), once they got in to those types of classes, classroom distractions, expectations, homework, peer group that was on a four year college track all helped. My good friend's kid is going to private high school - In retrospect due to covid and the general apathy at the public school I wish we pulled them, but $25k x 2 per year is no joke. There is a high amount of apathy at my local high school - if you drive by there around noon on a school day the place is ghost town. My neighbors kid comes home everyday at 1030 all year as a senior, what a joke. I get that you don't have to take an extra class to get over the minimum for a HS diploma but take advantage of the opportunity......The parents know better and the let the kids do it. It is highly prevalent where I live. If you have an empty block they just go home and the school is happy to let them do it. As a parent and tax payer investing in our next generation it is terrible. Still I think the #1 factor in success is who you surround yourself with.

Paid for Catholic school. Would have rather had private non parochial. But they wanted too much money. Then again I have friends that paid college money for high school. Fuck that.
But they got Catholic girls. Kinda young kinda wow.

It’s always a tough call. Trust your gut decisions. Do the best you can.

As someone said above. Having finished high school at a private non parochial they had more money and better drugs. Actually phrase that. Having dropped out of a private high school and still never having a high school degree I kinda turned out ok.

Public. Throw 'em to the wolves and let them figure out how to deal.

Our kids started in private school until we figured out that a lot of the kids were there because they'd been kicked out of public. They wound up in public in an advanced program. The general level of their HS was pretty bad but their program insulated them from that. It didn't hurt that the school was an "inner city school" which probably gave them a leg up, so both got into Berkeley. Which is not as great a school for undergrads who aren't self motivated and neither of my kids were when it came to academics.

CaliforniaGrown- I think you are Puget Sound based? We have twin boys, seniors in LWSD, one has a shit load of homework each night, the other has time to get most of his done during school day. The one with the shitload of homework is taking a couple more demanding classes. So, I guess my summary for you is a) homework is still a thing b)depends heavily on the class

Just to add a data point: kids in SPS (grade school and middle school).

No homework for grade school and some limited homework for middle school. Seems to be working - although me and Mrs. Happy were public school kids so there's a bias.

My kids use certain apps in class on their devices that we can then review in the evening and do extra credit. When they were younger I thought it helped with basic math and learning to read and gave them a little boost.

I recall doing a shit-ton of homework in middle-school and high school and it sucked. Seriously, to prep for AP English, we had to read Crime and Punishment (irony) over the summer.

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Originally Posted by chaka

CaliforniaGrown- I think you are Puget Sound based? We have twin boys, seniors in LWSD, one has a shit load of homework each night, the other has time to get most of his done during school day. The one with the shitload of homework is taking a couple more demanding classes. So, I guess my summary for you is a) homework is still a thing b)depends heavily on the class

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We will be in Northshore, but the neighbor i referenced teaches in LWSD. What you described sounds more realistic. I dont see how you can learn math without outside work, do chemistry without outside study, or do english/writing classes with outside reading and writing for example. As for doing homework during school, i never had the chance. I had class, and any free period was always scheduled at the end of the day to support my afterschool sports schedule.

My son has had homework for most of elementary school, but has less of it in 3rd grade than he did in 1-2. I think the district curriculum mandates some amount, but teachers lean into that in different ways. It's a terrible school district overall, though, so I don't know if that's a point for or against homework trends.

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Originally Posted by old goat

Our kids started in private school until we figured out that a lot of the kids were there because they'd been kicked out of public. They wound up in public in an advanced program. The general level of their HS was pretty bad but their program insulated them from that. It didn't hurt that the school was an "inner city school" which probably gave them a leg up, so both got into Berkeley. Which is not as great a school for undergrads who aren't self motivated and neither of my kids were when it came to academics.

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No Jesuit or Christian Brothers?


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Not good enough athletes. Maybe if Jesuit had a ski team. The one kid's golf team (McClatchy) did beat Jesuit in a match. And the other kid in water polo managed a goal against them. So very successful HS careers AFAIC.

McClatchy “inner city”? There would be a lot of Land Park residents upset at that.


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Originally Posted by yeahman

Public. Throw 'em to the wolves and let them figure out how to deal.

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This.

That said, we’re near the middle of nowhere so private means boarding here, so in with the hippies and red necks it is.
At least the local fundamentalists homeschool their kids.

I'd call all of Sac Unified inner city. Used to love it when the kids from the burbs came for swim and water polo meets and complained that the pool was too cold and the locker rooms too seedy. And of course a lot of those Land Park and Curtis Park folks sent their kids to private.

Sac City Unified is pretty fucked up. I did some work for a very successful adult ed charter school, that Sac Unified wanted to partner with….offered us tons of money. Took a close look at their structure and leadership, and declined


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Originally Posted by Yonder_River

You will probably get a little more rigor at private schools around here, but you'll also be paying 25 to $40,000 a year. You may find sticking with public and supplementing with a tutor to push them a little further maybe the smartest option.

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This is the exact scenario I debate long-term. Did you go the public + tutor route? If so, did you find tutors through the school or elsewhere? Multiple tutors for multiple subjects? Seems like a hassle logistically, but provides 1:1 interaction even private schools do not. And, biggly cheaper.

I am a public education idealist but the concerted effort to undermine the system is a reality, as is the impact of social networks on opportunity.

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Originally Posted by BCMtnHound

This.

That said, we’re near the middle of nowhere so private means boarding here, so in with the hippies and red necks it is.
At least the local fundamentalists homeschool their kids.

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Do the rednecks and hippies interbreed there? In VT they did and we ended up with hipbillies.