Private School or Public School

[bagtagley]

My oldest is starting school in the Fall. The public schools where we live are highly rated, and considered to be some of the best in the county. However, they've basically gutted the art and music programs over the years. Kindergarten is full-day now (it was half-day when I went) and they get one recess break per day. They have all these expectations for reading and math preparedness before they even start school. My daughter meets them no problem, but it all seems excessive.

We've looked at a couple private schools and have been very impressed. The curriculum is much, much broader. Much more focus on art, music, play and free thought. The one we're most interested in voluntarily administered the standard tests last year, and the kids did extremely well, so I'm not concerned that she'll be mired in hippie BS and fall behind later in life. There are also lots of little things that we like.

Paying that kind of money out will limit what we can do as a family as far as trips and such, but I think the trade-off could be worth it. I'm curious what people's experiences have been putting kids through, or attending private schools.

[OSECS]

We started out in private schools (K-2nd grade). A small private school good curriculum.

Then moved to a county with top notch public schools. We did public thru high school thru the county magnet schools.

I'd pocket the $12-14K if you have good publics. You can buy a shit load of after school extra curricular arts related program or private tutors for the cash you'll save. Those family trips and extra financial breathing room dollars ....... Much more important than a school art class (this coming from an avid art fan and creative field professional).

I think the public route is big if you're in a neighborhood with lots of kids. That socialization among their school mates around the neighborhood is huge and you'll be hauling them around the C'ville area a lot less to hook up with their more far flung private school buddies

Quite frankly once they hit first grade I wanted our kids taking foreign language classes and intense reading/writing classes. These both paid off huge in HS and setting them up for college. Art is great but at that age it's just play time for 99% of the kids.

Good publics compete with most privates in this region on a very level playing field, and you don't get some of the douche entitled kids that you see in the privates (that's the parents fault not the kids).

[::: :::]

private schools generally attract the sorts of folks who have prepared their kids (reading with them, counting etc before K) so my stereotype on the private school kids is that they're a step ahead and will establish a kind of peer pressure in the class for achievement standards. i think that's a good thing

the other stereotype I have is that the private schools are less diverse. this is not such a good thing

[OSECS]

private schools generally attract the sorts of folks who have prepared their kids (reading with them, counting etc before K) so my stereotype on the private school kids is that they're a step ahead and will establish a kind of peer pressure in the class for achievement standards. i think that's a good thing

the other stereotype I have is that the private schools are less diverse. this is not such a good

thing

Sorta yes on the first part, definitely yes on the second part, depending on your region (more suburban less diversity, more urban more diversity).

The first part gets sorted out after the first grade when schools start to identify
higher aptitude kids and begin to herd them into more advanced classes. Our kids both had the experiences you talk about regarding peer pressure to perform academically, and it was definitely a great thing. Meant we didn't have to crack the
whip quite so much to get them to perform.

But we know plenty of absentee parents with kids that went thru private schools.

[that dude who did that thing]

I'm a product of both private and public education. The private schools I attended when we lived in places where public sucked were a very good thing. The public schools i attended were top-notch and I don't think I missed out one bit. In fact, although I used to hate attending a ginormous public high school, looking at it now I realize that size allowed diversity, and provided opportunities that probably didn't exist in the much smaller private schools.

My own kids are attending public schools (one in elem. one in high) because our local schools are quite good. They are adequately challenged, surrounded by high-achieving peers and parents, and take advantage of all the opportunities available in the large-scale public school system. How many private elementaries run track, basketball, and chess teams?

[flatlander#2]

Public vs Private also have very different staffing. Public teachers are paid additional to advance their education, admittedly sometimes the classes they take can be bs. Typically they are teaching professionals, got into it because that is what they wanted to do. Private schools teachers are paid less, even though you pay lots, and many times are not licensed teachers. Also public teachers are union and if they suck are nigh impossible to fully remove. Not the good news fyi. She had a situation in with a kid that transferred from a local high dollar private school, when she pushed the administrator why he didn't report certain things he said Hey I'm not a public school, I'm a private business I don't have to. Private schools can have less kid stability as financial situations and job demands change. When the economy tanked her enrollment jumped, paying $15k a year for second grade suddenly became less important. Check your local listings for details.

My wife is an elementary principal of a very high achieving, high expectation, high parent involvement, high demo public school. To be honest the parents treat the school like a private, many of them came from private backgrounds. The scores are as you'd expect, top of the district. Post elementary the kids go to a mix of public and private.

A friend of ours daughter got a soccer scholarship to one the highest fallutin private schools in the area. She's a middle schooler and pretty bad ass. It is again everything you'd expect, looks like a small lib arts campus. He's at one of the first practices, girl is playing with his and wearing a Beckham jersey. He says is Beckham your favorite player? Oh no, my grandpa owns the team. Oh, right.

I think many times people think if I pay out the ass it has to be good. With the elementary level it is parent involvement in the school and while they are out of the class. You can't just hug and go and expect them to test high. Also with elementary fucked up home environs show with the kid at amazing levels.

[OldLarry]

without reading any of this, my blanket statement is that you have to have the right school for the right kid.

That said, some schools absolutely blow. Very few are amazing for every kid who attends.

[flatlander#2]

without reading any of this,

Private schooler.

[OldLarry]

Private schooler.

Only for the last part of my edjucashun.

[schuss]

How are the kids socially? If they're in good shape in terms of interacting with other kids and people, public would be the go-to for public IMO, just throw in some art and music programs as "fun" extracurriculars. Adjust as necessary.
If they're more sensitive emotionally/developmentally, I'd go with private, as they're often more geared towards rounding kids out developmentally.

[boltonoutlaw]

Agree with OSECS - go public if the school system is high-grade. The savings can pay for a boatload of crayons and tutors. Public is way more real life, and the socialization skills will be a major benefit.

EDIT: Best HS's in USA - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1498034.html

[Downbound Train]

If you live in a good school system, AND you don't care about liberal indoctrination, go public and save the money for a better college.

I went private for my kids. But not for the academics.

I have no interest in a union teacher speaking to my kids about ANYTHING.

[MontuckyFried]

It depends on the local schools. My wife's a public school elementary school teacher in a poor district. Next year, she'll be teaching middle school. Her school has a LOT of problems with the kids. Lots of messed up home lives. BUT, the staff is amazing. Excellent teachers, very progressive programs, and good administration. There are private schools in rich areas where the staff can be complacent. Personally, I went to a little private school for Pre-K, and went to public school for K-12. I went to a nice elementary and a great high school, but my middle school was really, really ghetto. However, even though the meheecans were some real a-holes to the one white kid there (me), I still received an excellent education and the teachers were awesome. The biggest thing I learned through my high school education is that public school is often what the student makes of it. If they're motivated like I was, they can take many advanced classes, include a great arts curriculum, and take their education any direction they want to. If they're lazy and just want to squeek by with the bare minimum, then it's obviously not going to be that great of an education.

In fact, one of my good friends spent K-10 in private school, going to high school in one of the most prestigious schools in the state. She ended up finishing up at my public high school for 11-12, as she didn't feel that her fancy private school was challenging enough. Chick took some pretty hard courses at my school! Again, at least for high school, public schooling's what a kid makes of it.

Also as said above, there may be something to said for the diversity of a public school, as there's almost always a group anyone can fit in to, and I think it's good for kids to be among peers of all different backgrounds, ethnicities, religions, whatever. Private school can actually be pretty rough socially. I don't think we can say blanketly that public school or private school is better as far as education goes. It's really so dependant on a million factors.

[MontuckyFried]

I'd pocket the $12-14K if you have good publics. You can buy a shit load of after school extra curricular arts related program or private tutors for the cash you'll save. Those family trips and extra financial breathing room dollars ....... Much more important than a school art class (this coming from an avid art fan and creative field professional).

Great point! You want arts? With the tens of thousands of dollars you'll save, you can take your kids to the freaking Louvre in Paris, the Met in NYC, get your family season tickets to your local symphony, get them top-notch lessons playing an instrument of their choice, etc., etc. Anything that a public school lacks, you can more than make up for on the home front.

[TahoeJ]

I want to be a big supporter of public schools (attended one myself), but the increased emphasis on test scores vs. actual learning is a major concern for me. I'd rather my kids learn to think abstractly than recite facts / dates and do really well on scan-tron tests.

[bagtagley]

FWIW, she has qualified for a scholarship, so the cost ends up being similar to what we're currently paying for preschool/daycare. Nowhere near 15K.

I agree that we can use that money to expand her horizons, but is that as valuable as daily exposure? She's a smart kid, and I'm not worried that she'll excel when it comes to reading and math. What I'm concerned about is missing an opportunity to foster some talent or interest because those alternatives are never presented to her. And, I know that's my responsibility as a parent as much as it is the school's, but I went to public school, so I'm not that creative.

Edit: That's where I am, TJ. Even a great public school teacher is tied to the fact that he/she has to keep the test numbers up.

[MontuckyFried]

I want to be a big supporter of public schools (attended one myself), but the increased emphasis on test scores vs. actual learning is a major concern for me. I'd rather my kids learn to think abstractly than recite facts / dates and do really well on scan-tron tests.

Hmm. Also a good point. From what I've heard that's become a lot worse since I was in grade school.

[MarcusBrody]

How are the kids socially? If they're in good shape in terms of interacting with other kids and people, public would be the go-to for public IMO, just throw in some art and music programs as "fun" extracurriculars. Adjust as necessary.
If they're more sensitive emotionally/developmentally, I'd go with private, as they're often more geared towards rounding kids out developmentally.

I agree with this in most ways but had kind of an opposite experience. I was a reasonably sensitive intellectually inclined kid who grew up in the middle of nowhere and attended a mediocre rural public school. Since I've graduated and moved on to different things, one of the things that I'm most grateful for is the socialization that I had there. It toughened me up (sports were key) and taught me to interact with people who were different from me. That was a great lesson.

I'm now around mostly people who went to either private or much different public schools. They're good folk, but I wouldn't trade my early experiences for theirs as it gives me a bit different perspective than most.

[Hugh Conway]

What kind of private school? There's a whole range of them - parochial, larger more "test oriented", smaller more "learning" oriented. None of them are cheap, some of them expensive, the pay off can be "variable"

[gatorboy]

As a public school teacher, I can say this: If you want your child to be successful, be active in their education.

Send your child to wherever you feel is the best fit. There are positives and negatives for every school. But the number one determination of a child's successful education is parental involvement, 2nd is class size, and 3rd is parents' social economic status.

Also - If I ever have an opportunity to select my students, I would pick the musicians first and second-language-speaking students next. Usually better at solving problems, thinking logically, challenging status quo, and superior work ethic.

Good luck.

edit to add: NEVER HOME-SCHOOL.

[jfost]

...
I agree that we can use that money to expand her horizons, but is that as valuable as daily exposure? She's a smart kid, and I'm not worried that she'll excel when it comes to reading and math. What I'm concerned about is missing an opportunity to foster some talent or interest because those alternatives are never presented to her. And, I know that's my responsibility as a parent as much as it is the school's, but I went to public school, so I'm not that creative. ...

Sounds like she'll do fine at either one, the fact that you are involved enough to worry this much about it puts her in the top 5% right off the bat.

IMHO, I'd save the money if your district offers things like immersion programs, "gifted/talented", anything of that nature - you'll quickly find like-minded parents and very likely a great group of smart kids doing all sorts of interesting things in their free time.

[jfost]

... Also - If I ever have an opportunity to select my students, I would pick the musicians first and second-language-speaking students next. ...

you want to work with a bunch of smokers?

[hutash]

It doesn't matter as longas you, the parents, are involved ^^^In your kids education. Both have pluses and minuses. Personally I would save the money, enroll them in art and music classes else where, or get involved with the school and bring some such classes as an after school activity. Teachers love that shit, and you would be surprised how supportive they are of such programs. Use the money saved to travel with your kids.

This is what we did with our two daughters, and it has turned out great.

For the most part private schools are over rated, except in places like the inner city where there are just too many issues for even good teachers to deal with.

[Crass3000]

If you have enough money to do it, private school is probably better. Just saying that looking at the small amount of people I knew that went to the local private school and their general success in life. My sample is small. But around it's hard to afford on even a decent family income -- cause the more you make the more you spend.

[wooley12]

More important question. What kind of parent are you?