"That ______ is so weak it couldn't pull a limp dick out of a bowl of pudding."
Having not placed my limp dick in a bowl of pudding, I am unsure of the force that requires.
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"That ______ is so weak it couldn't pull a limp dick out of a bowl of pudding."
Having not placed my limp dick in a bowl of pudding, I am unsure of the force that requires.
Hornier (or happier)than a two-dicked dog.
I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him if he was on fire.
Variation, I wouldn't piss in his eye socket if his brain was on fire.
Working with you guys is like herding drunk cats
After it is all said and done usually there is more said.
Smells so bad it could knock buzzard off a shit wagon
Tighter than a duck's ass, and that's waterproof
"He's a pretty good turd if you like shit."
"He's dumber than a bag of hammers" (showed up on O' Brother Where Art Thou too!)
"That girl's been whupped with the ugly stick."
"Not callin' you a liar; just doubtin' your word."
She could kick start a 747.
She could suck a tennis ball through a hose.
Bring tears to a glass eye.
"That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart."
-Foghorn Leghorn
alternative: she fell down the ugly tree and hit every branchQuote:
Originally Posted by lingcod
about as useful as a football bat.
About as useful as a chocolate teapot!
About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike!
About as useful as a bedpan in a morgue.
It may not be long, but it sure is skinny
I'll beat you like a sunday morning hard-on.
That's it for me, I'm off like a Jewish foreskin.
Like herding cats = phrase most often used by liftiesQuote:
Originally Posted by Garydog
that kid blocks like a soup sandwich (overheard at youth football practice)
Dumber than a jong in teh padded room
I've been to two state fairs and a goat fuck and never seen anything like this
That's tighter than a bools ass streched over a rain barrell
There's a Brit at work who says our company "couldn't organize a piss-up at a brewery".
some more, thanks dad.
number than a pounded thumb
hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire
dry as a popcorn fart in a skillet
about as happy as a queer holding a hot dog
cold as a miner's ass in the klondike
useless as tits on a bull
sweating like a rapist
more tow than a roman sandal
sticks like shit to the blanket
dry as a nuns cunt
He's one Discovery Channel documentary away from being a genius.
shit, I'd never get that out cleanly - too many words.Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenshowers
She's as sharp as a cotton ball.
Rainin harder than two cows pissin on a flat rock
Finer than frogs hair split four ways
Lower than a well-digger's asshole
Slower than molasses in January goin uphill
So hungry I could eat the ass-end out of a skunk and ask for seconds
Also to answer a question in the affirmative:
Does a bear shit in the woods? Is a frog's ass water-tight? Is a pig's pussy pork? Does howdy-doody got wood balls?
Two of my faves were from the same kinda Italian-looking guy at the same high school football game, talking about the same QB.
The first one was: "That fuggin' kid's got an arm like a leg."
Second, later on: "That kid's got an arm like a fuggin' eggplant."
I never really figured out the second one exactly, but I think it means he has a really good arm (he did - the kid was phenomenal).
A good one where you can use for any place you dislike:
"(enter town/state/area), where the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep are scared"
As said to me by a full timer at my summer college job with the town sanitation department:
"It may be shit to you, but to me it's bread and butter"
I was a college summertime job dickhead and deserved worse.