Pathetic Geek Stories

In the 7th grade, we are sitting at lunch, and I reach for my friends drink when he is turned around and rip a huge fart right next to the girl, I've been wanting to "go with". She laughs, I laugh really nervously, and Chad M@&(&#!@) sitting across to be goes into fits of laughter, basically alughing uncontrollably, and manages to shit his pants. He's wearing jean shorts and runs out of the cafeteria with it trailing down.
No one remembered me farting.



I had to have my nose packed with gauze after falling asleep in Chemistry class and smacking my face into one of those giant black lab desks.

this threa is LMAO funny.


best NSR thread since unsmart things done

CaddyDaddy...my stomach hurts after reading your post! LMAO!
Sprite

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[i]Originally posted by Ubersheist [*]The fist concert I went to was a Yes concert (for thier Big Generator Tour - WAY after their prime when they might have been cool in the '70s)

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My first concert was Kansas! :eek:

But really, that's not the scariest part. The scariest part is I went with BOTH my parents (who are not "cool" as far as meaning "hip" in any way). And the ganja was burnin' the minute we got there. So my dad is like "Oh, I'm so glad we went w/ you. I KNEW it was going to be a haven for pot-smoking and debauchery." Hell yes it was.

The upshot is my dad (who happens to be a Deacon) spent most of the concert having a heart-to-heart w/ two teenaged boys who were smokin' a doob while I attempted not to die of embarrassment. They ended up crying, throwing away their pot, and hugging my dad saying what a great guy he was, and thanks for caring about them, etc. At the time, I did not appreciate this. Not one little bit. Nope!
:mad:

Sprite

So you know all those times that you go to a Major League Baseball game as a kid and bring your baseball glove to catch fly balls? No matter where you sit? And not a ball comes withing 4 sections of where you are sitting?

Well, I'm at a Mets game sitting behind the dugouts on the third base line and the game is boring as hell. 1 - 0 game with the only run being scored in the top of the 8th.. so, I'm totally not paying attention.... people watching, etc. The person I'm there with is sitting to my left, so I am talking to her and totally not watching the game.

All of a sudden - CRACK! Didn't turn to look or anything. Boring game and all. Then I started seeing all the people around me stand up. Still don't think anything of it. Finally, one yells "FOUL BALL!!!!" I turn and look up and it is sky high and dropping right towards my section.

I sit there and stare. Completely frozen and fixated on that ball. The thing is coming right towards me. I think "somebody else will get it", "damn, I don't wanna get up", and "if that ball hits the concrete under me, it is going to bounc up and destroy me."

I don't move.

It hits me square on the thigh and bounces back about 8 rows.

I didn't even flinch nor spill a drop of my beer.

Did I mention this happened two weeks ago?

Yup, still a geek.

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Originally posted by CaddyDaddy77
I had to have my nose packed with gauze after falling asleep in Chemistry class and smacking my face into one of those giant black lab desks.

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Those tables are awesome. I want to get one for my kitchen. Might as well include the gas nozzles, too, while I'm at it. Which reminds me, I'm surprised we haven't had any Bunsen burner incidents reported yet in this thread.

A friend of mine claims they caused the chemistry teacher to have a heart attack the year he took chemistry by pulling the emergency shower a few times and setting some things on fire with the burners.

EDIT: I mean, wouldn't one of these be cool in the middle of your kitchen?
http://sciencekit.com/images/250/63/63840-40.jpg

Bunsen burners are good for roasting popcorn during class.....

that's fucking awesome. i typed out a long post about those tables but then deleted it because i thought it'd be too strange. basically, the gist of it is that if you were my lab partner in high school chem- or sitting at my lab table otherwise- i melted your pencil and/or pen whenever you weren't looking. bathroom break? your mechanical pencil will be nothing but a puddle of melted goo upon your return. got "branded" with some red-hot lab tongs after one of those meltings though, which sucked.

ahh, the good ol' days. i want those countertops in my place as well.

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Originally posted by road trip

Did I mention this happened two weeks ago?

Yup, still a geek.

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Hahaha!

Similiar thing happened to a friend of mine. Took the glove to the game in hopes of snagging a ball. Gets his opportunity, misses the ball and comes home with a black eye. Oh, he was around 8 a the time. Nice job on the beer though!!

Hey you geek, I finally threw out your autographed Seth poster last week. Here I kept it thinking you'd stop by and pick it up.
;)

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Originally posted by acostiga
basically, the gist of it is that if you were my lab partner in high school chem- or sitting at my lab table otherwise- i melted your pencil and/or pen whenever you weren't looking.

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It's actually hard to believe schools allow high school kids to use those things.

One of those tables would be pretty cool. I could finally reunite it with the triple beam scale that made its way into my backpack years ago....

Everyone called me a nerd my freshman year of h.s. because I was a junior ski patroller at the local resort.
One day I was given the special assignment to carry an oxygen backpack up the mountain to one of the higher shacks. When I tried getting off a lift with the bag I was jerked back, some of the straps had gotten caught on the lift!
I panicked! Here I was in the bright red uniform trying to prove myself and I looked like a total jong. I was not going to let go of the bag and let the expensive equipment drop and break, then I'd never get promoted up to the higher rotation. I just hung on for dear life.
The lift had to be stopped and they had to get a ladder to get me down, bag and all.

I was an eagle scout that ran XC so I've got hundreds.

I remember being a freshman in HS and getting picked on relentlessly by a junior. I had gym with him and that is where it always got ugly. He'd knock me down or slap me around, pull my pants down to my ankles on the track. Just random, big, dumb redneck shit.

One day he comes in with these shiny new air jordans, it's all he talks about that day. Next day he takes them off and puts them in a locker (no lock) for gym. I sneak back into the locker room, take the shoes to the toilet and proceed to shit all over them. Of course I had to own what I did, otherwise what good was it? He beat the hell out of me for what seemed like forever.

Two weeks later having had enough again, I sneak up behind him with a full bookbag and swing at his head so hard I thought for sure I killed him. He tried to get up, but at this point I'm wailing on him with fists and feet, he had no chance. He never messed with me again, instead some other kid became his target.
I guess that story really isn't that funny. Sorry.

Maybe later I'll tell the story of how I almost got 150 kids sent to summer school.

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Originally posted by flykdog

Maybe later I'll tell the story of how I almost got 150 kids sent to summer school.

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That story will be better than the one you just told... So tell it.

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Originally posted by Aldo
Hey you geek, I finally threw out your autographed Seth poster last week. Here I kept it thinking you'd stop by and pick it up.
;)

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Dammit! I was on my way up after work today to grab it! :(

Oh, and I still have the remnants of a huge bruise right over my knee. Kinda goes well with the smaller one next to it from playing paintball two days later.

I once wore wool socks under a pair of sandals.

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Originally posted by road trip
Dammit! I was on my way up after work today to grab it! :(

Oh, and I still have the remnants of a huge bruise right over my knee. Kinda goes well with the smaller one next to it from playing paintball two days later.

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Damn that was close, how funny would that have been to get hit in the balls with the ball, doubling over, dropping your beer and glove, Geek!

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One day he comes in with these shiny new air jordans, it's all he talks about that day. Next day he takes them off and puts them in a locker (no lock) for gym. I sneak back into the locker room, take the shoes to the toilet and proceed to shit all over them

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thats fukkin funny.

remind me not to piss off flyk @ buzz's

Some fine geekitude goin down here. I don't think that being in scouts till you're 18 is geeky at all, especially not if you're an Eagle Scout :)

[LBsPGS2]

Probably in the 1st grade we lived about a mile from school through several neighborhoods and greenbelts. I'm walking home alone and I HAVE GOT to piss. Being a shy bladder kind of guy I'm not gonna pee on a bush, plus I know my mom would be PISSED if a neighbor called and was like "Lemon was just pissin on my FENCE!" so I'm trying to hold it. Got all of 2/3 the way home and peed my pants.

I just walked the rest of the way home crying.
[/LBsPGS2]

I can beat all of your pathetic geek stroies:

I spend most of my day on an internet message board talking about skiing.

Metal detecting doesn't make someone a pathetic geek, does it?

....cuz I have this "friend", see.....

:rolleyes:

My high school was the inspiration for the short lived TV series: "Freaks and Geeks."

The famous kid who tried to build a nuclear reactor in his backyard? Yup that was us too. My graduating class no less.

Now, I work for the geekiest company in North America.

There's really nothing to do but revel in it. :D

I'm a business geek. I started my first business in elementary, sweeping garages. I got a bunch of kids to canvas the neighborhood looking to sweep garages. We pooled all the money and I paid them a little less than me because it was my idea.

I bought old candy from a nestle rep and resold it at school at half of the vending machines price in middle school. When ordered to stop by the counselor I told him he was holding down the proletariat. He didn't get it.

In high school I would write essays for kids who didn't want to. Charged them a fair bit for it as well. Was busted myself when I turned in an essay I had written but it was to close to one from a year ago from another student. They thought I was the one that must have plagiarized.

--I'm an eagle scout, youngest in my troop’s history at 13. (Technically 14 as I had to wait for the mandatory time period, but it was on my 14th birthday)

Luckily I was always incredibly sexy, so the ladies always loved me, causing my geek factor to go down significantly. :D

I studied banking in 5th grade because it fascinated me. Wierd that I seemed so destined to go into the business world.

Ok - here's a tidbit that will certify that I was a pathetic geek:

I learned of the best way to win crap from radio station giveaways. I realized that your best odds for getting through are on Friday nights between about 8:00pm and 11:30pm while sitting at home. I won lots and lots of stuff while in high school - concert and movie tickets, tee-shirts, cheap station promo junk. And while in college. And later in life, too. :rolleyes:

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Originally posted by snowsprite:
My first concert was Kansas!

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I went to see Yes (egad... fucking "Yes" of all bands....) with my uncle and his buddies. The show was down in L.A., at the Pacific Ampertheater. We had general admission lawn seats (of course). They got stoned and trashed, but tried to hide it from me, then tried to blame the funny smells on the aging hippies sitting on the blankets next to us.

Edit - Oh yeah.... EPskis - metal detecting most definately and in NO uncertain terms certifies "your friend" as a true geek, too!:D

[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=Geeks/v=2/l=IVS/*-http://hacks.mit.edu/Hacks/by_year/1997/geeks_crossing/geeks_crossing.1.large.jpg[/IMG]

I did the business thing too. Started my own mowing company at about 8. Half of the people I would ask, would give me money so I wouldn't use a gas mower. That was a good gig, come to think of it.

Had three paper routes, and had two kids that helped me. Paper eventually made me give up two routes when they found out it was kids delivering it by bike, not by car.

I started a business club in middle school, I was the president. I was also the sole member.

I was a terrible smart ass. Second day in seventh grade I lip off to two kids three times the size of me, in class. Knowing full well they are going to pound me at lunch I try to hide. I take my lunch outside and sit at this concrete planter and eat. I hear something and attempt to turn when the two guys grab my underwear and literally pull it up above my ears. They are standing on the planter and I'm dangling about four feet off the ground. After some good tugging, my underwear rips leaving them holding the waist band of my Hanes, and I fall through the band collapsing on the ground shrieking like a girl.

I'm really glad I got to be a lot bigger in High School.