Pathetic Geek Stories

[lemon boy]

Okay- sprite's very nice story brought back some painful memories, so comeon folks, I know I'm a pathetic geek but share your stories so I don't feel so bad...


[LBsPGS]

When I was a kid I was always the smallest, skiniest, least coordinated kid on the playground. I dreaded, loathed, hated and feared field day. Whenever we would have to run I would usually pretend to trip and fall so I had a good excuse for coming in last place. Sometimes I cried.

[/LBsPGS]

Fuck, I still hate to run. Been happily living my life under the motto that you shouldn't run unless chased.

[Ubersheist]

Me and my nerdy friends used to play Dungeons and Dragons during recesses in 4th and 5th grade. Can't get much geekier then that!

[AntiSoCalSkier]

I should have thought of that! I was never any good at any sort of physical activity (skiing is a possible exception), so field day was never any fun for me.

All right, here's some pretty pathetic geek behavior:

- One year (5th grade?), I decided that I really liked Daylight Savings Time, so I refused to set my watch back, and was an hour ahead of everyone else for the entire winter.

- Sometime late in my elementary school career, I started using the expression "according to my calculations..." Apparently this phrase wasn't nearly as cool as I thought.

- I started a video game club in middle school, but we never did anything.

- I had one of those shirts with fuzzy writing that said "Stop Or You'll Go Blind." I didn't get the joke.

[summit]

I was a dorky Texan who was never athletic or anything like that. I sat in front of the computer all day until I finally ended up in Colorado (after moving about 15 times). But during my school years I had such titles as PRESIDENT OF THE TECHNOLOGY CLUB! Hell, I went to a fucking engineering school to be a Nuclear Engineer! All I did was drink beer, play computer games, develop pictures in the darkroom (uberdork founded the photography club), and mosey over to the reactor buildingf for classes and reactor training. Now, in Colorado, my body is all like: "WTF? YOU WANNA HIKE UP WHERE WITH SKIS? I WANNA SIT ON THE COUCH! I'M LAZY, BITCH! I'M LAZY!"

'Course, now with the sprained ankle, my body gets to sit on the couch... at least I'm off the crutches and am using a cane (camera monopod).

Most dorky move ever: writing "PUSH CX" for an answer on an english test I didn't study for.

[Ogre]

Originally posted by AntiSoCalSkier
I should have thought of that! I was never any good at any sort of physical activity (skiing is a possible exception), so field day was never any fun for me.

All right, here's some pretty pathetic geek behavior:

- One year (5th grade?), I decided that I really liked Daylight Savings Time, so I refused to set my watch back, and was an hour ahead of everyone else for the entire winter.

- Sometime late in my elementary school career, I started using the expression "according to my calculations..." Apparently this phrase wasn't nearly as cool as I thought.

- I started a video game club in middle school, but we never did anything.

- I had one of those shirts with fuzzy writing that said "Stop Or You'll Go Blind." I didn't get the joke.

MUST....TRY....TO.....HOLD.....BA....NNNNNNNNEEEEE RRRRRDDDDD!

[summit]

Originally posted by AntiSoCalSkier
- I had one of those shirts with fuzzy writing that said "Stop Or You'll Go Blind." I didn't get the joke.

C'mon! As a middle school geek it was your job to provide quality pr0n to the jocks... good way to avoid beatings!

[Ubersheist]

Actually, this thread reminds me of P.E. class back in High School. I continually got C's and D's because I refused to run laps or anything. I'd walk the timed mile on the track, hanging back with the overweight gothic chicks. I told myself I was telling "The Man" (in this case Coach Dugan) to "fuck-off-'cause-I'm-not-your-track-running-monkey-boy," when really I was just a lazy turd.

The funny thing is that Mr. Dugan turned out to be a ski fanatic. He retired at about the same time that I graduated. When I was ski bumming up in Mammoth, I'd see him there all the time. We even spent a couple of half days skiing around.

[iceman]

Huh. I was always cool.

Interesting view of the other side of the street, though. Thanks.






















(getcher florida land righchere!)

[Superstar Punani]

I was vice-president of the chess club during the 10th and 11th grades.

Chicks dig me.

[tuffy109]

Originally posted by Punani
I was vice-president of the chess club during the 10th and 11th grades.

Chicks dig me.

president: punani, you aren't even good enough to touch my pawn

[summit]

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to play a nice game of chess?" -NORAD Wargames Computer

Summit<-Gaming Club VP 10th 11th 12th

[Barnballs]

I should have thought of that! I was never any good at any sort of physical activity (skiing is a possible exception),

/insert Tuffy comment here/

[tuffy109]

Originally posted by Barnballs
/insert Tuffy comment here/

in spirit of the thread, i declined (it was very hard to though)

[basom]

i went to a high school that specialized in art nerds.

we had too much freedom and the teachers were our friends. there was only one or two people who could get you in trouble for smoking dope.

never understood the gaming culture, but there sure was one at my school. we didnt have any jocks though, so there was no trouble. everyone was too stoned to get in each others faces.

it was like, wicked sweet.

i played ultimate for my athletic requirement. although for those in the know, you have to be in pretty good shape to be competitive at that game. (i wasnt exactly competitive)

[drugged_monkey]

I wasn't really a geek or a jock, but here's a gem:

It was the 2nd grade. Valentines day was fast approaching and there was this cute little blonde I wanted to have as my best girl. I decided to ask my mom for advice (for those who don't know my mom she's as crazy as I am). This proved to be my undoing. She told me that girls love "My Little Ponies". It sounded reasonable enough, but I was in 2nd grade and couldn't afford a "My Little Pony" to give the girl. Well my mom is way ahead of me. (The manipulation going just as planned.) She informs me that she just happens to have an entire box filled with brand new My Little Pony dolls. (My mom is notorious for buying absurd amounts of just about anything if the price is right. She has more fabric than most stores in her basement.) She said she would give me the dolls if I did work around the house for her. So I work my little 2nd grader ass off to give this girl a doll. But my mom pushes me on to do more work for more dolls. By the end I have the entire box of "My Little Ponies". So I show-up to class where everybody is exchanging a card and a few candy hearts with a gigantic box of My Little Ponies.

Yeah, that sucked.

[13]

Wow.

Just... wow.

[AntiSoCalSkier]

Originally posted by Barnballs
/insert Tuffy comment here/

Sniff. Sniff.

That's it! I'm taking my vast understanding of technical skiing and going to EpicSki! If you want me to tell you what's wrong with your skiing, you'll have to beg!

[crickets chirping]

[basom]

Originally posted by drugged_monkey
I wasn't really a geek or a jock, but here's a gem:

It was the 2nd grade. Valentines day was fast approaching and there was this cute little blonde I wanted to have as my best girl. I decided to ask my mom for advice (for those who don't know my mom she's as crazy as I am). This proved to be my undoing. She told me that girls love "My Little Ponies". It sounded reasonable enough, but I was in 2nd grade and couldn't afford a "My Little Pony" to give the girl. Well my mom is way ahead of me. (The manipulation going just as planned.) She informs me that she just happens to have an entire box filled with brand new My Little Pony dolls. (My mom is notorious for buying absurd amounts of just about anything if the price is right. She has more fabric than most stores in her basement.) She said she would give me the dolls if I did work around the house for her. So I work my little 2nd grader ass off to give this girl a doll. But my mom pushes me on to do more work for more dolls. By the end I have the entire box of "My Little Ponies". So I show-up to class where everybody is exchanging a card and a few candy hearts with a gigantic box of My Little Ponies.

Yeah, that sucked.

mang, you came on a little strong eh?

[Ubersheist]

Originally posted by Punani
I was vice-president of the chess club during the 10th and 11th grades.

no, No, NO, NO!!!!

It's like finding out that Santa Claus isn't real or that chick you dated in high school later got a sex change.

[lemon boy]

fuk dat! That's like finding out she just got the change.

DM- That was perfecto.

All you fuckers making smart comments and not fessing up need to do so or we'll be talking to your moms.

[tuffy109]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Punani
I was vice-president of the chess club during the 10th and 11th grades.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



no, No, NO, NO!!!!

It's like finding out that Santa Claus isn't real or that chick you dated in high school later got a sex change.


__________________

hey, at least he can run.

[Woodsy]

semi happy ending PGS;
Well I was a late bloomer,
as a Freshman I was about 5' 5" 180
put this with the big spectacles I wore and a camp tuttle (think pine trees) t-shirt I showed up to football two-a-days in the summer before my freshman year and you get a large 17 year old remarking,
"HEY that kid looks like woodsy the owl,"
hence my nick name I still carry.

it was amusing to the older guys on said football team to hear me sing the woodsy the owl song 9 gve a hoot dont pollute) on the bus, who was I to argue.

all good natured fun, eh. well add to this that i did not really hang with the jock guys much. My buddys went skiing on the weekend (poorly) and played Dungeons & Dragons. Yes gaming freshman year.

so a sophmore decides to ride me, towel snapping, tittie twisters, wedgies, the whole nine.

once even gets my ass off the ground lifting me by my nipples,

ass hole.

I decide to wrestle. first match pinned in 37 seconds, impressive no?!?

so the years go on & puberty finally catchs hold of my sorry self & with some friends I discover the weight room. Junior year I am playin footbal @ 215 & wrestling @ 171, & winning mostly. I am about 5'9" by then.

Mr. prick begins to avoid me like the plague.
he graduates & hangs around (one of those guys)

so Sr year i am my curent height of 6', 235# wrestled heavy weight that year & even wrestling 275# doods take region & place 3rd in state. loose 3 matches all year.

So, I run into mr prick @ a party in the summer that year.
I am out a school & have been having safety meetings all day with friends.
Mr. Prick : Heey woodsy how you doin
me: ya know you were always such a prick to me in school
him: ya foolin around ya know, he hah he....
me: it was nt funny

I step towards him as menacingly as my stoned ass could & dood drops his beer & stumbles backward to fall on his ass.

me & my freinds ( a lot of the same kids I gamed with earlier) just laughed & laughed. he walked away after getting to his feet grumbling & left.
still see him around sometimes now that i moved back to SLC, & honestly I stil snicker

In the city or in the woods, help keep America looking good!

[OJ]

Bee Double EE Double RR You EN!

Is that a B followed by four Es, four Rs and a UEN?

I don't get it.

[lemon boy]

B
EE
RR
U
N

Be Double E Double R You En

what's that spell?

BEER RUN

[divegirl]

Ok, I'll admit it. In high school, I was a geek-jock. My best friends who I hung out with were all pretty much total geeks, and I was definitely geeky, but I was also a jock, so the popular kids didn't fuck with me.

I wore glasses 100% of the time in 9th and 10th grades. While at cross-country practice one day my sophmore year, the guys decided to run with tennis balls, passing them back and forth to one another while running. Well I thought I could be cool, too, and picked up a tennis ball and threw it up in the air while running. At one toss, I was looking up, still running, waiting to catch the ball............and BAM I hit a parking sign, totally falling down on my ass, and a complete yard sale as my glasses flew off across the sidewalk. I think they actually broke. My teammates laughed hysterically at me and I didn't live it down for a while. Funny, because I tended to trip over things, run into walls etc., but when you put me on a diving board, I literally ripped the shit out of stuff

I guess it carried into college, too, because one day I was a tad late for diving practice on a Sat. morning (hungover...?) and while riding my bike to practice, I decided to take the short way off the bike path. Tried to pop a wheelee over a curb, didn't make it, and literally flipped over my bike onto my stomach/face, and my bike actually landed right on top of me! Typical...a cute surfer guy rode up and was like, "Duuuuude, you alright?" Had to go back to the dorms and clean off the blood......!

Drugged_monkey - that story was classic!!! BWA!