Things you suck at.

Mountain Biking. I went out with Telenater on a tame ride last weekend. The initial hill climb made me dizzy and nauseous, causing an early rest break. I endoed on a downhill section, landing in some bushes (note: when near end is getting light and you are pitching forward, ease off on the front brake). Near mile 10, both of my quads completely cramped up, I jumped/fell off the bike and massaged them out for a while. They siezed up again within site of the parking lot. Holy fucking shit I suck at mountain biking.

Now who's got a large rig for sale?

I suck at living near a mountain.



Holy fuck, I suck at living near a mountain.

I completely suck at AGGRESSIVE ALPINE SKIING.

Holy fucking shit I suck at road biking.

But I'm okay with that.

I fucking suck at basketball.

Holy shit, I can't shoot a ball to save my life.

I fucking suck at opening beer bottles. I've never been able to open any bottle without using a proper opener. Anytime I try the 'leverage' technique with a lighter or something my hands get fucking torn and bloody.

Holy shit I'm a fucking handsome bastard though.

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Originally Posted by givebackbloom

I fucking suck at basketball.

Holy shit, I can't shoot a ball to save my life.

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Me too. There's some folks at work that play basketball everyday at lunch and they are always bugging me to play and I continue to tell them I suck. The response is always "oh so do I." No, holy shit I suck at basketball and it's no fun. Would rather continue to ride my mtn bike on an ocean front trail for lunch then spend it couped up in some gym any day.

Today is my 32nd birthday; my hairline is receding, I've got arthritis in my knuckles and I just found out that I'm far sighted and need glasses.

Holy shit I fucking suck at getting old.

I suck at growing facial hair.

Goddamnit I couldn't grow a beard or a 'stash even if given a whole damn year. I'm well into my 30's now and still have the facial/body hair of your average 15 yr old. My 5 o'clock shadow looks more like straight up noon. I would make Adam Morrison look like fucking Grizzly Adams.

Holy Shit I fucking suck at growing facial hair.

I suck at skiing pipe. sure I can go up a wall and make a half-assed hop 180, but when I was in a park/pipe clinic as a ski instructor and was told to drop in unnatural (turning to the right, rather than my usual left), I basically hucked from the deck to the flat bottom.

I've also caught an edge right at the lip and basically free fell from the deck almost to the flat (think tanner hall at the last x-games on his failed switch 1080).

Holy shit I fucking suck at skiing pipe.

So this one time......I went skiing with tyrone shoelaces

Holy shit I fucking suck at skiing!


and I never noticed what a handsome bastard slippy is

YOU ALL SUCK AT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP!

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING MORONS!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK AT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP!!!!

:cussing: :cussing:

YOU SUCK AT CAPITALIZATION!!!


ME TOO.

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Originally Posted by warthog

If they suck as bad as I think they suck, then they are a long way away from this point.

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BWA! Ty, "Don't sell yourself short, you're an incredible slouch."

I'm right at the point Odin's talking about. I've been playing with keeping tension on the rope with my arms in the transition back to the wake and it's been working pretty well. I think I can remember my brother doing something similar while skiing, or maybe I've got it all wrong. On Sunday, I was working on cutting hard back into the wake after the transition, which I guess is what Odin is saying not to do. I got way more speed but didn't flatten out in time to hit the wake. So I went from landing half the time to landing none of the time. Which is just about right for me.

I suck at landing.

Oh and dear AKA...

You suck at surfing. :the_finge

White water kayaking. However I am the nuts when it comes to wet escapes (which I am forced to practice with alarming frequency).

Holy shit do I fucking suck at white water kayaking.

Dendrophilia

I suck at golf. If I only had three strikes I'd be out at every hole. If you charted my drives it would look like a saliboat tacking upwind.

Holy shit I suck at golf.

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Originally Posted by Arty50

BWA! Ty, "Don't sell yourself short, you're an incredible slouch."

I'm right at the point Odin's talking about. I've been playing with keeping tension on the rope with my arms in the transition back to the wake and it's been working pretty well. I think I can remember my brother doing something similar while skiing, or maybe I've got it all wrong. On Sunday, I was working on cutting hard back into the wake after the transition, which I guess is what Odin is saying not to do. I got way more speed but didn't flatten out in time to hit the wake. So I went from landing half the time to landing none of the time. Which is just about right for me.

I suck at landing.

Oh and dear AKA...

You suck at surfing. :the_finge

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I guess that did sound a bit harsh.

When I hear that someone ate a bunch of water, I think of the look of horror on friends' faces as they submarine and hold on for dear life behind a curtain of water, only to let the rope go at the last second, shooting it back into the boat. That sound about right Ty?

As far as landing wake to wake jumps, it is easier to land on the backside of the other wake at first. Pretty soon you will be landing many feet outside of that wake, and that is when the fun starts. I noticed you said "flatten out before the jump" you want to hold the rail through the wake. If you flatten out before your jump, like you would in skiing, you will lose all the energy you built up in the line. Kinda like hitting a jump and doing a 360. You would be edging through that jump, most likely.


Want to have some real fun? Hit the wake frontside from about 2-3 feet out, and keep doing that back andf forth until you get the feel for the pop. Then, cut hard at it frontside and pull the handle to your opposite hip. You just did a 180. It really is that simple. Stall it out for a better looking trick. I like to wait till I have almost landed on the other side.

Also, I was serious about wakeskating- it will make you a better wakeboarder in a day. Promise.

OK, I'm done- sorry for the off topic.

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Originally Posted by warthog

I
Also, I was serious about wakeskating- it will make you a better wakeboarder in a day. Promise.

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This is true. I love wakeskating as well, you just need to remember to cover your head while crashing.

If you want to have fun, ride a finless board as well, that way when you land you can butter out your landings.... oh YEAH!

Also the more you let the rope get out in front of you the better chance you have of pulling the infamous and hilarious ( for those on the boat) accidental Raley.

Also, like warthog said, edge all the way through the wake. The tension is your friend.