Attachment 177863Quote:
Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
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Attachment 177863Quote:
Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
International Women's day.
That picture has to be 10 years old by now, I wonder what those guys are up to today.Quote:
Originally Posted by KenJongIll
Voting for Trump
That's DigitalDeath on the left.Quote:
Originally Posted by glademaster
Why can't a bicycle stand by itself?
Two tired.
Doctor, Doctor, sometimes I think I'm a teepee, other times I think I'm a wigwam.
Calm down, man, you're two tents.
http://imgur.com/gallery/88CDoQuote:
Originally Posted by scottyb
Be sure to scroll down all the way through them. Before of course hitting next to see what else is out there.
A neutron walks into a barQuote:
Originally Posted by wicked_sick
"How much for a beer?"
"For you, no charge."
"Here you go." "Just a beer." "What'll it be? Don't see many tachyons passing through here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
So the flood had finally receded and all the animals were leaving Noah's ark. As two snakes left the Ark, Noah says to them "go forth and multiply!" One of the snakes answers, "We can't. We're adders."
We have so many summer days over 90 degrees now in Missoula. It's just obtuse.
What does a cow call his friends?
Moochachos.
How can you tell the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
If it was anywhere else, they would've called it a teethbrush.
edit: can't type
Q: What do you call a Frenchman wearing Sandals?
A: Phillipe Phlop
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter.
Read this one over on splitboard.com:
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
You wouldn't pay to have a lentil on your chest.
ha, I heard it as "Trump wouldn't pay..."
My granddad used to get a pair of overalls with the pockets cut out for xmas every year. That way he had something to work in and something to play with.
Guy walks into a bar last November wearing an "I voted" sticker.
Bartender asks, "who'd you vote for?"
Guy avers, "well, I didn't vote for the lying cunt."
Bartender queries, "so you voted for Hillary?"
What's the difference between pink and purple?
Pressure
What's green and swims in the ocean?
Moby Pickle
I heard it as;Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
what's the difference between a Garbanzo bean and a chickpea...
I heard that said about Hardwick, VT.Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
My uncle loves Ole and Lena jokes. He goes into full character telling them. Here's a couple:
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.
"I need to buy some boards there, Sven."
"How long you want 'em, Ole?"
"Long time. I'm building a house, ya know."
Guy walks into a muslim bookstore and asks the guy at the counter, "Do you have the new book on immigration by Donald Trump?" . . . guy at the counter says, "Get the hell out of here and don't ever come back!" . . . guy says, "yea, that's it, do you have it in paperback?"
Should this have been in pollyass . . . this did make me laugh, and I was not a fan of either candidate!!!
lolQuote:
Originally Posted by flowing alpy
A chicken and an egg are laying in bed after a good session of shagging. The chicken takes a long drag on a cigarette, exhales and says "well, I guess we answered that question"
Man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog. It's a shih tzu.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
My dad had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the city zoo.
My kind of humor....very dryQuote:
Originally Posted by Mazderati
A waitress at the truck stop has finally decided after 7 unplanned pregnancies she'd start taking the Pill
Her only complaint about the pill is "they keep falling out"
These showed up in an email:
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll.
How do you make a million dollars farming?
Start with two million.
I conducted an orchestra yesterday. It was more fun than you can shake a stick at.
Can February March? No but April May
I asked the librarian if she had any books about paranoia. She whispered, they're right behind you.
Q. What's the difference between a piano, a fish and a bucket of glue?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
Them: Well what about the bucket of glue?
You: I knew you would get stuck on that.
My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 am last night. Can you believe that? 3am! Luckily I was still up playing my drums.
What happened when the teacher tied all her students' shoelaces together? They took a class trip.
What kind of vacuum does a Buddhist use? One with no attachments
A man recently fell into an upholstery machine. I'm glad to say he's fully recovered.
What do you call a person running behind a car?
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Exhausted.
I was gonna make a gay joke. But fuck it.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Ok I willQuote:
Originally Posted by Mazderati
What is DD's favorite gay bar pick-up line?
Is that stool taken?
No, it's, "Can I push in your stool?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny Satch
^i think that joke is so funny [emoji23] but guys always grimace
Loling even now
The first time I saw a universal remote control I thought to myself, "This changes everything."