Pathetic Geek Stories

Nice grade school and high school stories, here is a college example;
Living in an engineering dorm, a select few would meet at 10p.m. every night for Star Trek Next Gen re-runs. There were 0.0 women who attended this nightly ritual. In one episode a little kid (~10 years old) runs out of his class and finds his dad in the halls of the Enterprise. He crys "but daddy I don't want to learn Calculus". At this time I was struggling through the devil's own math of calculus myself. Inspired by the kid's rebellious spirit I stood up and said, to the T.V., "Yeah little man, fight the power!!!". After that even the hard core nerds thought I was weird.

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Originally posted by 13
We even found a picture of a girl in our homecoming court with what we suspected was a money shot on her blue dress.

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(Insert Lewinsky joke here)

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Originally posted by Plakespear
(Insert Lewinsky joke here)

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Reminder: Your Capt. Obvious password is "password".

Good god this is funny. My Little Pony, Mr Keebler!!! I'm crying over here. Speaking of crying.


I was horrified upon learning shortly after my first visit to the eye doctor that I would need glasses. Well, I really played my cards wrong in not telling anybody in my 3rd grade class of my impending doom. There I was in denial, hiding the damn things on the way to school. Finally I walked in one morning with them on. It was a gradual thing, first one person, then the next, they all started, gasp, laughing. It was more than I could bare, I ducked into the coat closet in tears. I don't remember much more....

Hah!

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Originally posted by basom
mang, you came on a little strong eh?

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Either that or he was planning on banging the whole class and is a pimp in training.

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Originally posted by mr_gyptian
Ten Speed???:D

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It was 30 years ago. Most everybody else was riding 3-speeds.

holy crap..... it really was 30 years ago :eek:

I was in Bridge club. Captain of Bridge for a year actually.

Now, the question is, does that trump Chess club?

(Oh that was terrible... I apologize...)

I was a hippie-deadhead geek in high school. I had the long hair, flowy indian dresses or tie die and fatigues thing going on...and a huge american flag/peace sign painted on my beat up car. I wasn't a druggie though, just a freak.

But every so often I would dress up like a punk rock girl just to keep things interesting. I'm a strange cookie, and very geeky!

Sprite

first week of third grade, in a new school. my reading class group is sitting around a table taking turns reading paragraphs of some story, and i've gotta take a leak really, really bad. i'm squirming around and feeling like i'm going to explode. my hand is raised, desperately trying to get the teacher's attention... but her face is buried in the book. my other hand is clamping off the hose. i'm the new kid, too shy to interrupt the less and too afraid to do anything about the problem.

as i make a desperate, last-ditch dash for the classroom door, the teacher scolds me and very loudly asks where i'm going. i yell something about having to really go to the bathroom, and she tells me to go ahead. i turn around, while in the process of peeing my pants, and tell her in front of the entire classroom that it's too late. what a great way to start third grade at a new school.

luckily, some kid got a compound fracture the next week while trying to balance himself out on the playground on top of a soccer ball. my pants-peeing episode was largely forgotten after the broken arm thing, especially because the same kid broke the same arm doing the same thing at the beginning of fourth grade.

from that point on, i don't ever remember being embarassed about anything at school- not even working in the cafeteria on the food service line or on the grounds crew at college. i was the meat-carving guy in the main cafeteria, the only student who worked at the cafeteria. the year i was on the grounds crew, my job was to pick up trash around campus or help setup and break-down chairs for meetings or whatever. because my parents paid my full tuition, i couldn't get one of the cushy on-campus work-study jobs and had to take the cafeteria gig to earn some spending cash. for some reason, once i was in college i didn't care about being cool and nobody else cared either.

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Originally posted by This End Up
Nice grade school and high school stories, here is a college example;
Living in an engineering dorm, a select few would meet at 10p.m. every night for Star Trek Next Gen re-runs.

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I was flipping through channels last night and Star Trek TNG was on. It was the one where that black tar creature kills Tasha Yar. I haven't seen that show in years. I was a little shocked how lame the effects look now! Also their one-piece jumpsuit uniforms are pretty gay, and how come Troy got to wear a special uniform? OK, I know the answer to that.

Very well, where do I begin...

I know all the details (including sidecut) of most expert skis on the market.

I was in Boy Scouts till 8th grade. My hat had more than the minimum required amount of "flair".

In high school I was on the math team (which I was very good at)
...and marching band
...and I've mentioned this on a date (whoops)

I don't need Quicken to manage my finances because I can do it all in excel.
...I know what excel is
...and I manage my finances

I've watched the Star Wars trilogy in one evening.

My first concert was 'They Might be Giants'

I once expressed my displeasure at work by leaving a sticky note showing a happy face with a line over it.

When I was in third grade my family moved, so I started mid-year in a new school. I was sitting next to the prettiest girl in class. One day my pencil fell off my desk so I bent over to pick it up and ripped off a huge fart accidentally. The pretty girl laughed her ass off. I was super embarrassed. I should have laughed too, but instead I was ashamed.

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Originally posted by Snowscraper
I was in Bridge club. Captain of Bridge for a year actually.

Now, the question is, does that trump Chess club?

(Oh that was terrible... I apologize...)

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I'm fairly certain no one in my high school would even admit they knew how to play bridge, much less form a club to play.

When you passed other bridge club members in the hall did you say "how's tricks?" and then laugh at your funny inside joke?

I will admit to occasionally playing bridge during my lunch hour at work now.

Let's see Latin Club, Key Club President(I know at some schools Key Club was cool, not at mine) and marching Band. I think the brief stints in Rocketry Club, Drama club and playing Dungeons & Dragons didn't help the coolness fator either.

My "cool" friends hated me being in the marching band so much. I remember at one football game I got totally abused by them.
I'm marching out to do the halftime show and suddenly I hear my friend Rhino say "There he is get him". Next thing I see are about 30 beer and soda cans flying at me. Luckily they only hit my drum and not me. It's good I threw kick ass keg parites and played hockey or I would have spent a lot of Saturday nights at home.

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first week of third grade, in a new school...

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That's painful man. In 4th grade we had this mean, mean, ugly, bitch of an art teacher. I clearly remember her telling someone to "hold it and wait". Well, my turn at the 'I gotta go' feeling comes one day. I'm shy and reserved and there's no way I'm suffering the wrath of this bitch. I hold it as long as I can, but can't make it to the end of class. It's quite evident that I really did have to go, because I leave quite the puddle on the floor. The bitch asks me why I didn't ask to go and weeping I say "because I knew you wouldn't let me go". I hope the bitch felt terrible.

Up until 1st grade I always felt there was no good reason to stand up and piss. I always felt that sitting down to take a piss was pretty effortless, and hey, the fact of the matter was that I was getting to relieve my bladder; everything else was secondary. Anyway, the time comes where you gotta be like everybody else, so I opt to use a urinal. Well, one problem, I didn't quite grasp the whole not needing to pull your pants down to take a piss, and well, that's what I do; right down to my ankles. I had to talk to the guidance counselor about it and learn about how it wasn't necessary to do this. Luckily there was one other kid who did this and he was a REAL GEEK, the attention-whore type. Right up through high school people remember him doing it, but no one remembers I did too. Phewww . I guess the moral of the story is that it can be ok to be a geek, you just have to be less of a geek than someone else.

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Originally posted by tuffy109
so D-Day, you're a man now?

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sheeyit the d-day nick name is a decent geek story too,
my 2nd year in Aspen ( post grad geek) My buddy & I decide to dive into the dykes @ snowmasss the first day they opened ( friday Dec 13th) of course we have to fduck the rope on the high entry. flyin on the back seat of my 204's I hit a gang of rocks tumble & smack my head so bad I crushed a part of my skull.

ski down to the bottom gushin blood & get airlifted to grand junction to get ti plates attatched to hold the compressed part of the skull in place.

had a great haircut with staples for weeks & ended up being the first guy most of anyone knew wearing a helmet.

I of course got the grey "shorty" ( after wreckin my first one) that looked like a nazi war helmet.

d-day

oh &tuff one I became a man when I convinced a girl to give me my first blow job in sugarhouse park right before the sprinklers came on..........

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Originally posted by shmerham

...and marching band


My first concert was 'They Might be Giants'

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...and choir, and orchestra...

And my first concert was Amy Grant. My parents wouldn't let me see Billy Joel with my friends (and their parents) because that would have been too crazy. :rolleyes:

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Originally posted by shmerham
Anyway, the time comes where you gotta be like everybody else, so I opt to use a urinal. Well, one problem, I didn't quite grasp the whole not needing to pull your pants down to take a piss, and well, that's what I do; right down to my ankles.

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Little kids do this all the time, don't be so hard on yourself. OK, most of them are three, not seven, but you gotta learn sometime!

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Originally posted by The AD
Little kids do this all the time, don't be so hard on yourself. OK, most of them are three, not seven, but you gotta learn sometime!

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I still do it @ concerts for a good laugher

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Originally posted by The AD
When I was in third grade my family moved, so I started mid-year in a new school. I was sitting next to the prettiest girl in class. One day my pencil fell off my desk so I bent over to pick it up and ripped off a huge fart accidentally. The pretty girl laughed her ass off. I was super embarrassed. I should have laughed too, but instead I was ashamed.

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This is a whole other thread: bodily function horror stories.

But yeah, I woulda laughed too. Wouldn't it have been great if she let one go too while she was laughing at you? Instant karma.
:D
Sprite

bump for the geeks :cool:

l0ser: Hi Nick, um something's wrong with my computer can you take a look?

Nick Burns: Oh sure....yeah, I've got some parts from an Atari 2600 out back, I can fix it <snicker-snicker>.


Nick Burns, your companies computer guy!

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Originally posted by shmerham
I guess the moral of the story is that it can be ok to be a geek, you just have to be less of a geek than someone else.

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Amen to that! God bless John Fey, Devlin Malin and a guy named Anton at my old school. They kept the rest of us geeks from getting the full brunt of everyone else's abuses.

This thread brings back loads of memories, like:

• The fist concert I went to was a Yes concert (for thier Big Generator Tour - WAY after their prime when they might have been cool in the '70s)
• The first record I bought was Men At Work "Business as Ususal"
• The second record I bought was Men at Work "Cargo"
• The first tape I bought was Scritti Politti "Cupid and Psyche"
• By my senior year, I had all the lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorized. One of my nerdy friends and I could trade dialog for the whole movie.
• I had one of those teachers that made you "hold it" in 3rd grade. I crapped my pants while running for the bathroom at breakneck speed at the start of one recess. I hid in the bathroom for a long, long time until one of the hall monitors (some student's mother that volunteered time at the school) was sent looking for me. I was sent home early for the day. The teacher may have had a talking to with her superiors after that incident, because she started letting us go during class after that.
• I was a Boy Scout, but quit after I got to First Class.
• I got very into science fiction in middle school. I read all of Issac Asimov's "Foundation" series by 8th Grade, loads of Kurt Vonnegut and Phillip K. Dick. I even had a subscription to OMNI magazine for a year.

I admit it: I was in band too (classical, marching, jazz). But we were actually good. I was a hybrid soccer jock band geek in junior high and high school. Don't ask me how, but it worked.

This is some damn fine reading. I don't have much to add (for better or worse), but I've got the goods on lph for the right price ;).