Glad to see you (posting)! Hopefully this forum continues to provide some level of support if not providing an example of the amount of good that's actually out there.
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Glad to see you (posting)! Hopefully this forum continues to provide some level of support if not providing an example of the amount of good that's actually out there.
Hang in there Shmoe, you're doing a great job keeping it together under hard circumstances. This whole thing just has me reeling, I can't imagine what you must be going through.
As far as your house, I'm inclined to agree with MTT. I think it'd be a huge burden off you if you could get out from under it, as painful as that may seem to you now.
Doug,
I am so happy that you are feeling better and are able to express your feelings so clearly. You will get through this because you have the inner strength and will to do so. We are thinking of you and pulling for you, mang!
Shmoe..
Even tho I'm just a lurker and don't say much, I just wanted to express my thoughts to you (as someone who has been through a very simular situation).
Take one day at a time, if you think your ready to take that babystep forward (no matter what it's about) DO IT! There seems to be many many many Mag's here that will help you every step of the way.
Even tho I don't you know or DW i feel for your loss. It's hard.
I'm glad to see you've posted, keep us (even us lurkers) up-to-date, and if there's anything I can do to help, let me know even if it's as a sounding board.
Many pos ++++++ still being sent to you.
Keep your chin up and take it one step at a time. We are all here for anything you need so don't hesitate to ask.
a few things to keep in mind on your journey to normalcy
1) the best revenge is living well
2) this too shall pass
3) we're all with you in spirit dude
Doug,
Stay strong and do what you know is right - getting back at those who trespassed against you will only harm YOU more.
Remember that the house, the car, and all are just things and that if you had to bail on it all you'd be just fine, in fact maybe that would be cleansing to be rid of it all and get some perspective. If I were you I'd get rid of it all and do some traveling or something for yourself.
You have a good support network here - so use it, but you probably should consider finding a professional who is familiar with grief and in particular suicide issues. Use a few of the bucks we've sent your way and fell good about it.
S
PS - and get some turns - maybe take Powstash up on his offer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by powstash
Doug, great to hear you back on here. One more step in the right direction.
I would stongly recommend taking Powstash up on a tour, this weekend if possible, as soon as possible. Get the split out and get some exercise to help clear the mind a bit more. I know tours help me when I get down and or angry.
Plus this man is top notch in my book and anyone else here that knows him. There is a lot of wisdom in that shooken up head of his (he survived a tramatic brain injury, thank God).
Plus he can teach you even more about the backcountry. You win all the way around and so what are you waiting for!!!!
Glad to hear you're doing better. And I know you will keep getting better. You've suffered a bad injury, but you can recover. Take it one day at a time. Be careful with yourself. Think of your psyche like a leg that got fucked up badly - you need to treat it with care for a long time to make sure that it heals. It may never be back to 100%, but if you work at it, you can get to where you won't know the difference. Seek counseling if you need it. You wouldn't try to work out a bad ACL without a doctor's help. I don't think you should try to work out an emotional injury without a doctor's help.
Live a good life, for yourself, for DW and for the maggots here who are behind you, whether we ever meet you or not. Be proud of yourself. You've walked some hard miles lately, and you've made it through things that not everyone could survive. It won't be easy for quite a while, but you've got to continue doing what is right, if for no other reason than out of respect for Doug of a week ago who made it through something worse than what Doug of this week or next week is going through.
Go skiing. We finally got some snow, and exercise will clear your mind.
Glad to hear from you Schmoe!
you have been given a shitty test. Please don't fail. Seek help from the TGR community when needed. For anything, Real estate, Advice, friendship and healing. I sent you a PM earlier with my phone and my address. Call or stop by anytime. Although I don't know you I have followed these threads, cried many times, paypaled cash, and attended the funeral. I follow the mantra spoken earlier. Anything for a maggot...ANYTHING!!!!
Kevin
Doug, we have never met but these past days/week have been extremely emotional for me and my wife. Just reading about what happened and what you are going through brought tears to my wife's eyes. Stay strong because you have this incredible community of really wonderful people who will help you.
I have not been a maggot that long, and probably wouldn't consider myself even close to some of the members her in term of their maggot status, but I have to say the support here is incredible. Even though there is some bickering and stupid fighting that goes on here occasionally, we really are a community and the support that everyone has offered and is offering is absolutely incredible.
Every response, whether emotional support, financial support, informational, and everything else has been incredible and heartfelt. I think Yetiman's advice is the best:
Quote:
1) the best revenge is living well
2) this too shall pass
3) we're all with you in spirit dude
we are all here for you doug,
matt
Good to hear from you man. I agree, take Powstash up on his offer. Please let me know if you ever need to talk. Prayers going out for you.
stay strong. Time heals.
Hang in there brother. It takes a strong heart to forgive and a strong mind to move forward. Keep focused one day at a time, one hour at a time, one foot in front of the other. I pray for you by name daily, Doug.
Keep the fire burning. +++
Doug, it does my heart good to see that you are feeling well enough to post, and to reach out to share some very painful thoughts and times with us. I think you are on your way out of the darkness. Please continue to rely on friends, family and this wonderful community of snow worshippers. You don't have to go through this alone. That is the beauty of it all.
I agree with others that you should take up Powstash on his offer. Getting out into the mountains will do wonders for your soul.
Be good to yourself. And know that peace will come in time.
Doug,
You are simply amazing, and everyone here on TGR is also amazing.
Thru your pain and need to find reason for life, and then reading and talking about all the love, support, fraternity, and goodness by every single person in this community, the interconnection is overwhelming...and amazing...I feel like I have been touched by a sort of divinity, an endearing kindness that I keep coming back to, just so I can feel the warmth well-up in my heart.
Damn, amazing.
Again Doug, If you ever need to get away for a little while and just chill by the beach or take in some adventure in our Sierra Mountains, my house here in Sothern California is all yours, anytime, anyday. Just give me a call (619.318.9599), or just show up and knock on my door, anytime, anyday.
peace,
D.
The best thing you can do?Quote:
Originally Posted by shmoesmith
Walk away.
And never look back at them.
congrats to doug and the maggots, life will be better, sometime slowly, sometime faster, healing will take time both metal and physical\, but it will get better. Remeber, you always have bacon ;)
Shmoe:
I read your post...and yes thoughts of revenge are not healthful. But, you shouldn't feel guilty about feeling pissed off, whether at people who wronged you or didn't step in. Dealing with anger is the only way to get over it and to get to a place where as Splat suggested, you find forgiveness.
Stay strong and if any legal shit pops up, Buzz can tell you how to contact me.
Hang in there. everything else has pretty much been said. good luck
You are amazing in the fact you're reaching out to everyone, articulating what you feel and leaning on people when you need them. You have everything it takes to pull through this...I'm sorry it's so very hard and I'm sending my thoughts every day.
1234567890
Good to hear from you, and especially glad to hear you are dealing with everything life throws at you. Take it one day at a time, it WILL get better. As for your thoughts and feelings, they are normal, do not be ashamed of them, but you are a better person for not acting on them, it just shows you are better than normal. As for anyone who contributed to this whole terrible situation, they now have to live with the knowledge that they contributed directly to it, and will have to live with it the rest of their lives.
If you need a little time on the coast, let me know, we can put you up here in Ventura, CA.
Stay strong.
Doug, like everyone else I am glad to hear from you. You and DW have been on my thoughts every day. I'm sure the light will continue to grow and the darkness will subside. Little by little life will return to livable and enjoyable. I am so sorry you are having to fight this battle. Keep us informed on how you're doing.
Wow, I just saw this. Hang in there - I have several experiences with this myself. Happens more than we are aware of.
Shmoe,
I can't even imagine what you are going through but Yetiman is right, "living well is the best revenge". You are still very young and you can have another life after this one. Put it behind you, get help when needed. You have many more years ahead of you, make the most of them.
Scmoe,
I don't even know what to say other than keep on going on.. I have never been through what you have experienced but from some other crazy things in my life I can say that life will get better.
It really is good to step away and go for a tour and get some fresh air, it clears the mind and soul..(especially get away from that f----ed up inversion you guys have had)
If you can go take a trip and get away from it all. DO IT.. Go somewhere you have always wanted to but for some reason you couldn't go make it happen.
Danny
Doug,
glad to hear you are feeling better.. ive never met u, but u sound strong..
things are really rough now, but in time, you will be able to look back and see that the path you are on, you could have never seen from where you are standing today and everything will be all good.
many vibes ++++
NAY!
Maybe Witherspoon should be outsourced.
Doug,
It's good to see you're feeling better. Know that if there is ever anything you need you have a strong support system here. I can not imagine what you're going through or where to begin in offering anything constructive or comforting. Just know you have more vibes and prayers coming your way than you could possibly know.
Good Luck,
Jay
Doug, I think you have an amazing opportunity to get out, sell the house, pack the car and dog, and see everywhere. I would be willing to bet that through the maggot community, you could do a true soul searching powder mission right now. I would think staying in the house would be impossible, but I don't know your resolve in that matter.
I do know that right now, wherever you want to go, mags will help you with your journey.
Everyone in your life would understand, from family, to work.
Just think...San Diego, Tahoe, S.F, Portland/hood, Bachelor, Seattle, Baker, V.C., whistler, B.C, Montana, Jackson, Colorado, wherever you want to go. Just think about it.
We have your back should you choose to do this.
It is what I would do.
Peace.
"Keep your stick on the ice, were all pulling for you." -Red Green
We are here for you. Keep talking. We are listening.
What rideit said.
I just want my life back. I don't want to go out and have some sort of god damn soul search. I don't want to travel. I just want my life back...I WANT MY FUCKING LIFE BACK! I want to be happy again. To have my wife back. To have my best friend back. I don't give a flying fuck about getting out of here or away. I just want life to be normal. I want to be whole again. to be happy. to have a wife that loves me, a career that works, a house, a car, a dog....I don't know. I feel like screaming now.Quote:
Originally Posted by rideit
Everyone is telling me to get away. to leave it all. all I want is to be back to the way it was. I was happy. Sure there was stress in there. The job is hard, the bills need to be paid, but I was happy god damnit. I loved my wife more than life itself. My job wasn't going so hot, but I enjoyed it. I played hard. I loved life. i just want it back god damnit. I just want it back.
I don't know how to make things work anymore. its fucking 5:00 am and I haven't slept in 24 hrs. I'm to the point of trying to drink myself to sleep. I'm drunk and still can't sleep.....I just want it back.
I don't feel like killing myself. I don't feel like there is reason for me to live. I am just here.
If you need someone to talk to, my AIM screenname is dirtybryan. I'm only 19, but if you need someone to vent to, consider me all ears. I'm up late doing some work and am willing to listen if you want someone to.
It's not your fault.
Hey Doug....most of the mags are probably asleep, but us Euro mags are here for support! I will start off by saying, I cannot imagine what you have gone through, but I have experienced some of the the same type of feelings you noted above and that is why I am writing now......about a year or so ago I was asking the same questions and saying "I just want my life back" ...your comment resonated with me.....I wanted those things back too and still do in some ways, but all I can say from experiences is that there will be nights like tonight, there will be days that are unbearable,....but it does get better....that is the only hope I can give you...it does get better..I know these comments are not going to get you to bed or take the pain away, but hopefully somewhere in the back of mind you will feel comfort to know that there are other people that have experienced lose and pain similar to yours and that there are better days ahead.....postive vibes to you... all the best, G
Are you at home at the moment, Doug?
Insomnia will be a problem for a while. Don't be afraid of getting professional help for this and your emotional wellbeing. It won't solve things but just think of it as a crutch to support you through these difficult early weeks.
Everyone here is rooting for you and just giving the best advice that they know. Some of it will not be right for you but when you are ready just utilise what suits.
Yes, I am at home. I have a friend here with me, but he passed out about 5 hours ago. BTW Mrs Roo, I never thanked you and your hubby. You two are the reason I found this place. Looking up beta on 4 shadows in the cody bowl. Britt really wanted to hit it and central this year since conditions wouldn't allow it last year. Thank you for bringing me to this community....If Roo ever gets thinking of leaving again, remind him of what you guys have done for me. Remind him that this is an odd family that can bring hope when there seems to be none.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Roo