I gotta say Max, you've had an eventful year. Aside from helping your sister, take some time for yourself and chill.
Your parents probably ought to do the same thing.
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I gotta say Max, you've had an eventful year. Aside from helping your sister, take some time for yourself and chill.
Your parents probably ought to do the same thing.
Max: If you don't know "how" to talk to your sis no wonder your relationship is crap.
She is your sister. You say to her what you want, what you feel, what you love, hate, anything..... There's nothing that you cannot talk to her about. My Sis and I talk about EVERYTHING. I knew about her first period before my Mom did (save it, kids - it's a BFD to an 11yo girl and she was freaked.) She knew about my drug addiction before anyone did. If there's one person who baring your soul to should be absolutely safe it's your sibling.
Do what A-wreck said. That post was awesome.
Since you have no history of discourse I would save the "I think you should..." conversations 'til much later. She'll only think that you're a dick for only talking to her when you want her to do your bidding. Establish a track record of being open, non-judgmental, and available WHENEVER. If she calls you in the middle of the night, talk to her. Don't put it off 'til the morning - do it right then.
Did I mention leaving the judgmental shit behind?
Sympathy aside......if I ever got myself in that situation my parents and sister would take my ass and lock me up until I got my head straight (no matter what my age).
Sorry to hear that you and your family are dealing with this.
Irul, all of new orleans, particularly my family has gone through a lot in the last 5 years. My sister especially.
I think I'm going to call her now and say "is there anything I can do for you to help you?" That one is pretty positive, yes?
Anyway, the whole pre-mortem/post-mortem thing with the dog was kind of a big deal, but as far as we know, he was out before the dog got to him. They put the dog down anyway.
Tippster: my brother and I have the kind of relationship that you and your sister have. My brother is 7 years older than I am, so I guess it's kind of weird that we are closer than my sister and I, and we're only a year apart. I've always kinda wished we were closer, and this may be an opportunity to establish that.
That's all for today, but thanks to you guys for galvanizing me into support mode and for all your positive thoughts, advice, and vibes. This is a great place.
+++++++++++++positive vibes to your clan, Max+++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++
++++++++Vibes++++++++
You got it Max. Now is the time to develop that relationship. My sister and I are lucky to have always been close, and I have always felt this is a blessing. Like Tip and A-Wreck have said, let her know you are there for her, save any judgement, and help her through this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Gosey
Good call.Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Gosey
It's never too late.
Start by telling her something totally shitty and embarrasing about yourself that you have never told anyone else before.
Not something that would freak/gross her out, just something that would make her feel special knowing that you told her.......and only her.
Max, that story is nuts.
As far as your sister goes, you may just have to wait for her to grow out of the stage she's in. Getting close to her may help a lot. Good luck.
Max...Quote:
Originally Posted by A-wreck
I recommend that you stay away from the hand job story you told your GF.
What an incredible story....sad none the less....but incredible. Sorry about this and +++++++++++++++++++++ sent to all involved.
Max,
Make sure your sister gets an attorney before talking to the police again......very important............very very very important. Cops are cops and if they can find a way to involve your sister to the events that led to the death, she could be charged with some kind of crime. DON'T TALK TO THE POLICE WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY PRESENT!
PS call your sis and tell her you love her!
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
Miami= bad idea. Scarface is based on a true story.
All of you who have sisters, or even female cousins or freinds: If they are dating assholes, let them know immediately. I have seen bad things happen in my own family, and every time we say to each other "I could have seen that coming". If you see it coming, act before it comes.
shit man thats completely fucked up, I really hope it turns into good for your sister and she cleans up a bit. Theres a fine line between having fun and having a problem everybody wants to think that they are just having fun if they have a problem. Best of luck to her and many positive vibes sent.
I had thought she had walked in to find her boyfriend mangled, but it's worse than all that.
Apparently the kid was on his side when all this happened. My sister woke up facing him to see her boyfriend dead with half his face missing. The dog took away tissue from his chin up to his ear. She will NEVER get that image out of her head. :nonono2:
Have no idea how, but as far as we can tell she is holding it together really well. I left her a message saying "I know what you've been through and I want to help in any way I can... call me ANY time of day or night if you feel like talking". Not sure if she will but I want her to know she can.
My dad plays golf with a good attorney (they're good buddies), so I would imagine that she is well covered in that respect.
Thanks for the support, guys. It helps.
Daaaaaamn!
My sister was in a similar situation when she was 19. Only it was her lesbian lover who died in a drug deal gone bad. My sister was supposed to go to the buy, but she couldn't make it so she asked her girlfriend to go instead.
Eleven years later my sister is happily married to a great guy and has a beautiful 3 month old little girl.
My sister's lover dieing was the turning point. I hope your sister's tragedy can be a turning point for her as well.
BTW, if she is in Lousiana, get her the hell out of there.
This:is waay better than this:Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Gosey
The 2nd one is impersonal. If you wanna get close, you've gotta get personal. Not for me to put words in your mouth, but I'da been saying something like "Damn, this situation scared the shit out of me and made me realise how much I love you. I can't even imagine how fucking scary it must've been for you. It sucks that we live so far apart. I miss you and really want to see you - can we hang out together this weekend?" etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Gosey
Anyway +++ vibes for your sis.
Really sorry to hear your sis' story. You're a good man to be so concerned about her, and I have to believe your efforts reach her at some level whether or not she's able to show you it matters.
My folks stuck with my bro stubbornly through some really hard years and terrible events on his part and, despite his total rejection of their efforts then, he now acknowledges that's what helped him pull through.