Some people just weren't born with the part of their brain that screams "danger" when it's necessary.
That or the brain signals "awesome" when it really means "danger."
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Some people just weren't born with the part of their brain that screams "danger" when it's necessary.
That or the brain signals "awesome" when it really means "danger."
I must admit, sometimes, the things you say, are a bit "out there". ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by 13
Christ you never cease to amaze me. You must have grown up in a house with just brothers ( in the sibling sense that is).Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
Good stuff and I sure can't argue the accuracy.
So true,I associate "danger" with "fun".Thats why I`m always getting myself in trouble.Thank god Mrs.Twins isn`t a drama queen.I would be compelled to Huck a bridge if she was.Quote:
Originally Posted by 13
I am an only child.Quote:
Originally Posted by L7
Twisted in a good way at least.Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
Wise beyond your years though.Thats a good thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
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Originally Posted by TWINS
That's Mrs. Twins in the avatar, right?
Imagine that avatar with 32B`s instead.She purchased a kids large baselayer last weekend at REI.Did I say small?
And wicked in touch with the male psyche. Y'all aren't too hard to predict either. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
It is hearing stories like R's that often makes me wonder why, in light of completely destructive relationships that are soooo blatantly unhealthy, people think that marriage is the answer. I would like to think that if a guy I was dating were even half as nuts as R's fiance appears to be, we wouldn't even last past the first freak out let alone get married. Then again, maybe there are things that go on behind closed doors (like she gives amazing head and takes it in the ass) that none of the rest of us are privy to when making our judgement calls. Or we are right and R should run in the other direction before she bites his head off.
What sucks even more is when it is the good catch (male or female) who gets roped into this very bad situation. You hate to see it happen to the good ones.
But honestly, R's self esteem could secretly be so low that he honestly doesn't believe that he deserves anything better. Regardless, I like the earlier idea of filming some secret tryst and mailing it to her. The only draw back may be that she comes after R or you and goes for blood.
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Originally Posted by girlski0912
Laugh it up fuzzball ;)
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It is hearing stories like R's that often makes me wonder why, in light of completely destructive relationships that are soooo blatantly unhealthy, people think that marriage is the answer.
Yeah, I've never understood that. But I have had a friend or two who took the plunge thinking that...with the exception of one guy, it didn't work out so well, and that one guy is in medical school so it's easy for him to avoid her.
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But honestly, R's self esteem could secretly be so low that he honestly doesn't believe that he deserves anything better.
Could be, or he could just never have been taught that he should want/expect anything better. I have a friend who lets people treat her badly and doesn't do anything to stop it. Her family is very self absorbed and petty. She grew up with that as "normal" and while she somehow avoided becomeing like them she was never treated well so she doesn't expect it now. Her coworkers would push stuff off on her that wasn't her responsibility and try to blame things on her that she had nothing to do with (she was the youngest person working in her office and the only one with a college degree, everyone else was a secretary or such that had moved up over the decades. Her job was to "modernize" the office...that didn't go over well with everyone else.)and she would never stand up for herself and set things straight, she would just take it and end up looking bad to the higher ups.
I don't feel bad for R in this situation, because he is getting what he wants(or what he needs) out of the relationship. I feel bad for his friends and, in the future, his kids.:nonono2:
There's really nothing his friends can do except be a good friend when he needs one. I have a friend who is in almost the exact same situation as R. Only has been married for three years. If we(my close group of friends or I) call him and leave a message with his wife, she won't give it to him. Not because she knows us and doesn't like us(she has never spent any time around us despite out best efforts, she seems to have no desire to know her husbands friends.) she just doesn't want him to be away from their house...it's so bizzar. On the rare ocassion he does come out with us he has to call two or three time while we're out otherwise there will be hell to pay when he gets home. I'll never understand what he saw in her, and I can't imagine he is happy with his life now, but he made the choice to be with her and I have to respect his choices...
That turned out to be the case with one of my friends. In high school, he dated this girl that everyone hated. All his friends hated her, all our parents hated her. Basically, she was such an incredible bitch that whenever we saw her we'd always ask each other what the fuck he was thinking. We asked him about it too, but never got an answer. And they went out for over a year, maybe even two. Years later, she came up in a random conversation and I asked him again why he had dealt with her for so long. The answer: "It was the most incredible sex I've ever had."Quote:
Originally Posted by girlski0912
Granted, I never had sex with her; but she was such a mean person I couldn't imagine it being so good that I would be willing to put up with her.
I love a good hate fuck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arty50
I am a TGR lurker but am compelled to register just so I can post on this thread (not surprisingly it is in the padded room). I was a widowed father (youngest two at the time) of four after 18 years of a kick ass marriage. A couple of years later (approx 12 years ago) I met a widow with two children. I was in love again, with a women who loved the outdoors, camping at the beach with the kids, unbelievable sex and just plain go out with or without people and have great time, kinda girl. Most family and friends on both sides were excited. Some though, came to me and spoke their fears, these fears that resonated with the little alarm bells that were going off in my head. (I now totally appreciate those that came forward)
I am still struggling to extradite myself from this totally damaging and unhealthy marriage. Snowfire ask your friend if he has ever tried to back off this relationship, even for a short cooling off period. If he has ask him if she prevailed against it. If so then ask him if he thinks it will be any easier to back off if necessary after they are hitched. THESE PEOPLE DO NOT LET GO. Once she has legal status she will totally crank up the ownership dial. If children are born they will suffer (both mine and her’s have big time).
I have separated three times, filed for divorce and ended up with a legal separation. I have filled another recent legal document to evict her from my home (she has one close by) because she will not move after agreeing to do so if our reunion did not work out (our third retry).
My marriage has nearly killed me and has been way more stress to me than anything else in my life. I would suggest throwing up little roadblocks. Ask him if they have pre-nups. Anything that the couple has to seriously discuss will probably create problems with their relationship. Also recommended to me and a book I would recommend to anyone even close to this kind of a relationship problem is Controlling People by Patricia Evens. This book is excellent and alone could possibly de-rail the life-changing mistake ready to happen.
I can always look back at my mistakes and see that I am not alone.I now recognize control freaks and stay away.I feel sorry for them.It must be a horrible way to have to live your life.I`m not a religious person but came across the serenity prayer and read it to myself when people are out of control.Poor,poor control freak bastards!
Tracy, you hit the nail on the head. They do it everywhere at any time, any way. She certainly gives it up good.Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
In highschool, this chick was the most protected girl I'd ever known. She wasn't allowed to date, go to prom, or even go over to a boy's house with a bunch of her friends. Her father was the marching band director and was always pressing her to be the best- apparently he yelled at her infront of everyone if she messed up in a tryout or something. She was always a drama queen, cried over everything in highschool, I mostly just felt sorry for her.
Apparently in college she went nuts- drinking all the time and having sex with everything that had two legs and a penis. I really think she just does not know how to have a boyfriend, how to treat people, or how to treat herself. It seems sad that she's nearly 25 and doesn't know this.
I think R likes her because, while she's really controlling him, he also has control of her. Her entire happiness and self-worth relies on him- he has the power to make her throw a tantrum or to make her happy. I think maybe somehow, sadistically, he likes that. He's the most laid-back, chill guy I know, and why he would want someone that volatile I just can't comprehend. Although she does give it up, and he does love sex. I just think that it's going to get old for him, but not before they have kids (she wants kids yesterday), and then he'll be stuck.
So the night I flew into MN, Thursday, I was picked up by our gay friend A and we were supposed to meet up with R and his psycho at a bar. Well, when we were about halfway there R calls and says that the girl just puked all over his truck (brand new, gorgeous truck). Apparently she was fine all night but fretting about not wanting to go, he gave her the option of not coming out but since a rule was he was not to see me alone, of course that couldn't happen. When we got to the bar the girl was in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, then came out for about 5, crying about being sick, then back to the bathroom again. AFter about 30 minutes R said he really would like to hang out more but the girl really wanted to go home. So they left....
Next day I call R to see how the girl was doing. He told me that as soon as they left, she perked up and wanted to have sex when they got home. He said something to the effect of "I thought you weren't feeling good and throwing up for the last hour" and she glared at him and said "well, you knew I didn't want us going out there." So apparently the freak made herself sick because she was either too nervous or just wanted to get her way. R said she was so nervous she threw up. He told me he really wishes he could spend more time with me while I'm here and catch up, but "circumstances just aren't favorable right now." He used to stand up to her, and now it just seems like he makes excuses for her and thinks her insanity is ok. Well, I guess if that's what he wants he'll be happy... I just hope they sign a pre-nup. :nonono2: I'm not entirely sure why this girl hates me so much- I guess it's to their benefit I only come back once a year. I asked R if it would be easier if I didn't come to the wedding, and he said that he still wanted me to go. If it wasn't me, it would be something else. She just looks for any excuse to be upset and start a scene. I guess she drove R's housemate out because he got sick of waking up to her screaming and slamming doors. :rolleyes: Seriously, who in their right mind would want to be chained to someone like that??? yuck.
ps. thanks for everyone's stories... it's really interesting to hear people's opinions and to hear from everyone else who has dealt with this problem. At least people who are chained to freaks for awhile do, usually, eventually seem to come out alive. :)
People are funny, eh?
What's the problem?
They sound perfect for each other.
what my man Yeti-man would doQuote:
Originally Posted by snowfire
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What would I do...
When I took her out of the trunk and put the gun to her head in the desert I think my wording would be something like this:
I don't care about what you think your relationship with xxxxx is, I don't care what you or xxxxxx think of it. We won't tolerate you marrying xxxxx. It's over, you're moving out/not seeing xxxxxx again. You're not saying why. I did this once and it was easy, and if you ever touch, call, or speak to xxxxx again you'll be right here but you'll end up being a wet spot, get it bitch.
Then it's back in the trunk and deposited in the garbage can at xxxxx house.
seriously. there's a time and place for everything, and this is the time and place to rescue your friend. Just don't go overboard and don't get caught.
OK two stories,
One: Friend of the family's son, just hitched up w/ psychiatric exibit A, They dated in highschool, her dad is the preacher at the church, and she is the most worthless, do-nothing, whiney, needy POS I have ever met. They moved in from WY three years ago, and they started dating. He's the kind of decent guy who completely devoured her, damsel in distress, protect me, "I need you" Bullshit. Meanwhile, she's crazy, done shit like: cheated on him on a trip back to WY, ended up getting pregnant and then said the father was Chris, provides sob story that she was raped Chris didn't leave then. Chris gets a number of scholarships to go to school for a reasonable sum, Exibit A doesn't know how she could provide for herself "all alone", so Chris doesn't go to college, and instead gets engaged to this girl (did I mention that he's not the brightest bulb all the time). His mom and other friends, tried to talk him out of it and exibit A just used it to fabricate the "theyre all against us story" and ended up blinding and deafening Chris to friends and family. Now they're married on a shoestring budget, w/ a kid on the way now and she gets him to move into her larger more expensive apartment (rather than his more modest one) and then buys herself a new car. Kid works his ass off and she refuses to provide a cent. And now he does't really talk to his friends or parents anymore.
Story 2: Girl I know, dated a good friend of mine for a while (he left because he finally got wierded out by the friends-to-fucking polarity of the relationship). She's smart, seems relatively normal most of the time, hard working, good-looking, reasonably fun, but had kind of a screwed up child hood. Mom wasn't really there, her dad has about a 14 year olds maturity and leaned on her for emotional support and she ended up practically raising her little brother (right down to providing the cash to feed them both). Anyway, she has a bit of an issue with developing intimacy in relationships. Basically, I think the only thing she feels she can provide is sex and maid services, so she has found a guy (decent guy's guy but kind of a shit sac altogether) who allows her to provide plenty of both, and in return she guards him jealously, Throwing fits at other girls, trying to prevent him from going out etc. All his friends hate her, and she has ignored all her friends for him. Really kind of a sad case but they both seem to get something out of the relationship (however unhealthy).
Sometimes, they say that love is blind,
But I think that dumb is what they had in mind.
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Originally Posted by PrankMonkey
I think this is exactly the situation. he loves that she needs him so much, even though she's insane. I've had a guy "need me so much" and it might be flattering for a little while but it gets old. She is definitely a damsel in distress... all the focus always has to be on her, poor little drama queen. She can't think of any normal ways to get attention so she throws tantrums. WTF??
Unfortunate situation for Chris... hope R doesn't end up like that.
edit: "Sometimes, they say that love is blind,
But I think that dumb is what they had in mind." HA!!! I believe it.
You should ask McConkey to write a letter to her parents.
I was rooming with brother and he brought home this bitch one night that was kind of attractive in a $100 hooker kind of way. Turns out to be trashy mouthed, mean spirited, ball breaker (before breakfast was over the next day). I told him that i was throwing his ass out if he ever brought her back.
You've probably guessed the punchline by now. He married her, adopted the one she already had and had two more and after seven miserable years ended up divorced with all three.
Throughout the courtship I and everyone of his friends (and he had many) told him he was seven kinds of an asshole for not running away screaming from this harpy. It was pointless to talk to the dumb bastard but if I had it to do all over again I still try to talk him out of it only louder and perhaps with more creativity.
Snowfire, email your buddy This (sorry if it's a repeat). Tell him to focus on #3.
Good catch! That had to be what was going on. Any other explanation would be too freaky!Quote:
="psycho threw a huge tantrum in front of all of us because R made some comment about his favorite place to have sex, and psycho runs upstairs, slams the bathroom door, and it takes R an hour to talk her down". Maybe, her favorite place to get laid is in the upstairs bathroom?
If screaming, shouting and wailing is how she has good sex... :pQuote:
Originally Posted by tetsuma
Camilo, I hadn't seen that, it's pretty good. Maybe I should send that to him... but something tells me he probably wouldn't appreciate it. He knows I think she's insane and now I think I probably just have to be supportive. She fails most of those qualifications though- 10, 9, 6, 5, 4, and 3 for sure. :tdo13:
The harsh reality is you'd better get used to this,unfortunately you're going to see more of this as you get older,NOT LESS! The age old problem,do you let them sink fast,or help them to sink slow.Whatever you do,if you're involved your in for a lot of drama & BS.