WWMD: psychotic bitch!! (rant)

[snowfire]

So...

One of my very best friends from high school, "R," recently got engaged. To the biggest psychotic bitch I've ever met. I knew her in high school too, and she's just as insane as ever. For example:

It started last winter when our other best friend (female) got married. We were all at a bar afterwards, and when I went to the bathroom psycho followed me in, started bawling at me saying how jealous she was because I'm pretty and I'm such good friends with R. She's worried he's going to leave her for me or something. I didn't know exactly how to react, but I just told her that she was beautiful, and that there had never been anything but friendship between R and I... and that I was madly in love with GFP, and I had absolutely no intentions of going after R. Drama, drama, drama. Yeesh.

So a couple months later I fly in for Christmas. I get picked up by R and another friend, and R apparently had to lie to the psycho and say he was going fishing with his dad for the weekend so he could hang out with me. Apparently she disallowed it or something.

Later that week our other friend had just come back from her honeymoon, so we all got together at R's house, and psycho threw a huge tantrum in front of all of us because R made some comment about his favorite place to have sex, and psycho runs upstairs, slams the bathroom door, and it takes R an hour to talk her down and make her come out after much yelling and crying, during which time the rest of us have to piss outside because she's locked herself in the bathroom... and then she comes down, acts like everything's fine and we didn't just witness a huge tantrum, and offers us some wine.

Other things she does not concerning me... R's roommate gets Maxim and FHM. Apparently she's so afraid of R reading these magazines that she intercepts their mail and tears them up into tiny pieces and throws them all over the house while throwing a temper tantrum. It got so bad that the roommate had to start having his mags delivered to his workplace.

R's not allowed to receive any calls from anyone dealing with his job after 5 pm. She answers his phone and tells them "R can't talk after 5." He's a successful manager of a business and gets calls from coworkers often.

R's other best friend is gay, and psycho won't let R go out with him... does she think he's going to turn gay or something???

So basically R calls me up and says he's engaged to this bitch. He said she really really wanted to get married, and he thought about it, went back and forth for about 4 months, and finally decided it was the right thing to do. I've known him for a long time, and he didn't sound too sure about it, or very happy. I'm flying back to MN tomorrow, and we're all supposed to get together at R's house like we always do when I come back, all the old friends, and apparently there's limits, like I can't give him a "hi, it's great to see you" hug or be anywhere alone with him.

He said I'm invited to the wedding, but I'm really thinking twice about going, because I think it would be a lot easier on R if I didn't, he wouldn't get grief from psycho.

I feel like doing something really ugly to this psycho... leave a big steamy turd in her makeup bag or something. But I will continue to be super nice to her because I want R to be happy. And in the next few months I need to decide whether or not to go to the wedding.

anyone else have a best friend marry a controlling insane person? how did it turn out? There's gotta be some amusing stories out there. I can't see the future, but it can't be good.

[bklyn]

Where's 8 ball when you need him?

They will break up or get divorced. But in the meantime "R" will enjoy all the psycho girl blowjobs and pooperhausen he can get, because she gives it up good.

[schindlerpiste]

DIVORCE, usually w/in 2 1/2 years. Just remember, once a cunt, always a cunt. Of course, the same is also true of dick head guys.

"psycho threw a huge tantrum in front of all of us because R made some comment about his favorite place to have sex, and psycho runs upstairs, slams the bathroom door, and it takes R an hour to talk her down". Maybe, her favorite place to get laid is in the upstairs bathroom?

[jstead]

They will break up or get divorced. But in the meantime "R" will enjoy all the psycho girl blowjobs and pooperhausen he can get, because she gives it up good.

fo sure............

[Blatant]

fuck it...You have a few mths to throw the block on the whole thing. Cunt it all up, get the rest of the friends on board...the only thing...he could end up thanking you in the long or end up blaming you for ruining his life and hating you, 50/50. Some lessons are tough learned. Also Give him a big "hi friend" hug don't stop being yourself, none of you should. Friends are around to stay, thick and thin, biatches/aholes come and go.

my weak .02

[LAN]

Perhaps you should contact Seventeen magazine for some advice.

[Viva]

anyone else have a best friend marry a controlling insane person? how did it turn out? There's gotta be some amusing stories out there. I can't see the future, but it can't be good.

One of my best friends, from college oh so many years ago, married a total control freak. First, and only time, I met the guy he was wearing OP shorts, a collarless shirt, and knee high tube socks. Looked like Mommy dressed him for school that morning. Dude kind of acknowledged me, but otherwise said nothing. I did not like the guy, but it seemed par for the course as Donna always was attracted to needy guys.

They eventually married and she supported them both while she attended medical school and did her residency. They eventually ended up in Southern Oregon, just 4 hours away from me where she set up a practice. Meanwhile this guy never bothered to get a job, instead insisting to run the admin part of the practice. Big mistake. I tried contacted Donna a few times, but never recieved a response. Eventually, we discovered that Dufus was deleting all of my e-mails and erasing my phone messages (not to mention those of other friends).

Worse, they had a son and Dufus insisted that the kid be home-schooled. During this time, Dumbshit limited his son's exposure to other kids, resulting in a child with poor social skills.

Currently, Donna's spent over two years trying to divorce this guy. He's used every trick the courts allow to delay judgement. Also, he ran off with the child once and went into hiding, filed a restraining order against Donna- preventing her from entering her house and even threated to kill her once. That all of this is happening in Hicksville, Oregon isn't helping.

This shit's still going on when I visited last month. I'm sorry that I'm still not in-state to be there for her.

[Magic 8-Ball]

I can't see the future, but it can't be good.

Without a doubt.

[The Dad]

He said she really really wanted to get married, and he thought about it, went back and forth for about 4 months, and finally decided it was the right thing to do.

Now that's romance!

Look, she's clearly a controlling freakazoid, in ways catalyzed by but not exclusive to sex and gender. As others have posted, that's typically a sure-fire recipe for pre-marital split or divorce.

Typically, but not uniformly.

You can't rule out the possibility that that's what R wants. He may actually be attracted to this kind of shit -- whether he admits it or not. It may make him feel special and wanted in a way that a healthy relationship can't. And he is probably rationalizing not leaving her because of how much she needs him -- that's par for the course with giving into her and getting engaged.

Which doesn't really tell you what you should do. If I were you, I'd tell R you're not going to be part of deceiving his fiancee, because she's going to find out eventually and then it'll look like he's trying to hide something. But unless you want to lose him as a friend, don't tell him you think she's a raving bitchwad and he shouldn't marry her unless you want him for yourself. That's how it'll be interpreted, and there's no way to avoid it.

[fez]

1. get him drunk
2. seduce him (or get another girl to)
3. secretly video tape it
4. send it to the fiance

the wedding will probably be off after that.

[DJSapp]

Intervention. You and your friends need to abduct R's ass, take him to some remote mountain cabin and smack some sense into him. Afterward, you or his friends need to show up everyday at his place with how you doin hugs and sex talk. Make her go insane and throw down the ultimatium 'It's your friends or me.'

He'll make the right choice, and if not, in 2 years after they divorce, you'll be there and he will thank you for trying.

[A-wreck]

Yeah, what Fez said.
Just put out, and videotape it.

Problem solved.


I'll let someone else tell you to post the video here.

[irul&ublo]

I was going to suggest der pooperhausen, but that would require some external hardware.

I had a crazy (not quite that crazy though) girlfriend of several years, though long ago. Your friend is in for a rough time. Talk him out of it.

[DrRy]

The marriage will not last, and most likely end in a painful, bitter, possibly violent divorce.

But as far as doing anything about it now I don't know what to say. He must be out of his mind to marry this crazy bitch. But sometimes people just really want to get married and they are willing to settle, which sucks. Do your best to covertly talk him out of it.

Maybe she's blackmailing him or something.

[cantunamunch]

Whatever it is that made her this insecure, be absolutely certain she'll pass it on to her offspring.

[yogachik]

Sounds too familiar to me. My male best friend married a psychotic. They're still married, 15 years later - but last week he had a massive heart attack which required quadruple bypass surgery. He's lucky to be alive - and he's only 42.

Drama is dangerous.

[Free Range Lobster]

One of my very best friends from high school, "R," recently got engaged. To the biggest psychotic bitch I've ever met.

Best friend and psychotic bitch being in the same paragraph is still boggling my mind.

[lemon boy]

Hire strippers! LOTS OF STRIPPERS!!!!!!

A friend of mine had a girlfriend like this many moons ago, thankfully he dropped her and has a cool as hell wife now.

[only half joking suggestion]
Bring the situation to a boil, the worse behavior you can provoke from her the better.

[sea2ski]

It's a waste of time to try to stop someone from getting married. I had a friend who was told by almost every one of his friend's including myself that he was making a mistake in marrying his first wife. Well, now he has alimony to remind him we were probably correct.

[wicked_sick]

Well, at the risk of sounding completely ignorant and insensitive, I'm going to post what I think.

I didn't actually read any of this thread. I just saw the phrase "psychotic bitch" and wanted to suggest that a good kick to the gut, followed by a trip down a flight of stairs might help the situation.

[Cornholio]

I'm pretty curious about this too.

Do you tell "R" that he's behaving in a way thats maybe inconsistant with other parts of his life or his personality?

As a friend, would he listen?

I know you can't tell him what to do, but are you allowed to tell him that you're concerned? If you're legitimately concerned, I think something like "I'm not going to ever bring this up again, but I'm really concerned about this situation." Or something.

No? Do you just have to watch it happen in slo-mo over the next 10 years without any help? I vote for saying something.

[yogachik]

Corn: you can't tell anybody anything about the person they're in love with. You will never win, they'll never hear you. People aren't done until they're done. There's something that those with psychotic partners are getting out of the relationship - it's not one sided.

[mcsquared]

Geez, she sounds like my ex-wife. As a former "R" myself I have a few insights. First of all, getting him drunk and smothering him with strippers and the promise of drama free pornstar sex will only make things worse for him. If she finds out she will have what we call "leverage". She won't dump him. Only use his actions against him for the rest of his life.

The irony is that the sex probably isn't that fantastic with this woman. She somehow has him convinced that if he would only change a little bit or will change his life in a certain way than unlimited pornstar sex and relationship bliss is just around the corner. She has him convinced that her unhappiness and bitterness is his fault, or is a result of the environment they are in.

He probably thinks that marrying the girl will solve a bunch of stuff and life will be good. This is where being a nice guy backfires. What will snap him out of it? I don't know. For me it was sitting in front of my computer one night thinking about setting up a college fund for my yet to be conceived child and realizing that I don't want this woman to be anywhere near my children.

[cantunamunch]

Although, the bathroom drama made me think she was more ambitious than effective in the control department.

I just hope it doesn't get violent at the end.

[Canuk]

snowfire -

I think that as a friend you need to talk to R and tell him how you feel - bring it up once, and only once, but be brutally honest. Let him know that you are only doing it because you care about him as a friend, and then let it be.