He did, actually. There was really deep silence for about 15 seconds and then everyone just picked up where they left off like nothing happened.
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He did, actually. There was really deep silence for about 15 seconds and then everyone just picked up where they left off like nothing happened.
This year about tops the list. After spending a fuck ton of money to move back home to my native Oregon, my mother -who for the last two decades, never missed an opportunity to lament the fact I was unable to come home for the holidays- up and goes off to Thailand for a month with her new man-friend. My brother, and partner in crime, leaves and goes to visit in Thailand. This leaves my new wife to invite her mother, whom she cannot stand, ignore her for the last two days, while I get to entertain her. And listen to her hack and wheeze and cough with whatever chest cold she has. Awesome. The mother-in-law has the personality of cardboard, with just enough passive-aggressiveness to make you want to kill yourself.
I now understand why the holidays fucking blow and people drink so much. I'm currently enjoying a tall glass of Forged Oak bourbon to numb the rad ass fight that I'm now in with my wife because she can't be bothered to spend any time with her mother, whom she invited up.
Happy were the days when I didn't travel and skied Thanksgiving and the whole weekend and drank beers with my friends. Life was good. Fuck this noise.
20 years ago on Thanksgiving I had my very last conversation with my mom. She was dying of breast cancer and the end was near. She gave me shit about how mediocre my Thanksgiving meal was, and we laughed about it. She fell asleep right after that, never woke up, and died two days later.
Another bad one--my wife came down with hepatitis A 6 weeks after we got back from New Orleans and the day before Thanksgiving. First time I did it all myself, but not the last. If it were up to me I'd make a pot of gumbo or gypsy stew or chile verde but the fans insist on turkey so turkey it is. We live dangerously--165 degrees max. So far so good.
This isn't the exact quote, sorry but I think it applies: "It's Thanksgiving, and we're all in misery". Hang in there guys, it's only a month until Xmas.
It's so nice when people "get it". Wife's aunt's brother in law, 400 lbs of unemployed, 55 year old living with his mom kind of guy, while trying to impress me with stories of dead shows he attended, told me how a guy he was with at a show in Miami was fucking with a deeply tripping person in front of them, like it was funny. I replied "really? What a dick". One of many conversations i killed Thursday.Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
Does the whole weekend count? If it does, this year is definitely my worst:
Gack!!!!!
You're supposed to snap the wishbone, not the collarbone.
Damn! Dude, that's gotta hurt!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
This thread has exceeded my expectations.
My wife is still crying. Awesome family. Pack of wolves.
Edit:no disrespect to wolves intended.
Edit2: we just left one of the kids hoop games and got to the parking lot where her car was still running. Good thing we're at a prep school not Our Lady of Guadalupe in Holyoke.
That reeks of ass over tea kettle. Plates and screws ... so sorry my man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
At least it's now and not during the throws of the ski season. Broke 2 collar bones in 11months, surgery both times...back on snow in 6 weeks.....heel up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
This was the best Thanksgiving ever for me. Didn't ski, but went to the inlaws farm in FL...they are horse ppl. Tractors, quads, horses, dogs and easy an going time.
Wrote my god son to ask how our family side t-day was going...his response "boring, I'm sneaking beers out of the back fridge"....good kid. Back home w/o my wife so I'm taking him out tonight. 17yo at a holiday with all older adults sucks...felt bad leaving him but I knew that game to well. Glad he mad the most out of it.
no but I'm a fast forgetter and getting fasterQuote:
Originally Posted by highangle
oh shit man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
bummer
Pretty much confined to a recliner. Earliest hope for surgery is Tuesday, gonna be a long couple days. Thank God for vape carts.
Well tell us what happened.
BTony Romo?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Dirt jumping on my bmx bike. Freak crash on the setup jump before the "real" jumps.Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
Hey Tony Romo is a mag!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
Given that your wife is hospitalized for a food-borne illness, and you're pushing the food safety envelope with an $8 food thermometer, you might want to get on the list for a couple new livers while you're serving pink meat turkey to your friends.
ouch...busted collarbone? heal well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Oh dang. Heal up man, when do you think you should be good to get out again?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
I was starting to learn how to dj this past spring but decided to stop this summer because I got scared I was going to wreck myself and with a real deal El Nino winter forecasted I didn't want to do that.
I can't think of a bad Thanksgiving but I'm sure there have been some very uneventful ones over the years. I do remember on though for being one of the best. I hope it's ok if I share that on here.
T-Day 98, my first season in Jackson Hole. We had some snow and base, not a lot but pretty good up high so I went up for my first day on the pass. It was blue bird and there was beautiful surface hoars sparkling on top of 8 or so inches of well set up powder. I was solo so I figured that it was appropriate to center punch Little Tucks since no one had skied it yet and no one was around (what a dumb ass kid I was) but I got away with it and then put a booter up it and went for seconds. After skiing I went to my buddies place where we had a sick ass feast and massive joints were passed around the whole time during dinner. It was rad.
Mid-Jan with surgery. It was a seriously freak wreck, but explaining it is more than I can type one-handed lefty.Quote:
Originally Posted by RaisingArizona
That's not so bad, in fact that's when it usually just starts to get good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
Shit happens and realizing that was why I stopped riding the park this year.
no hospitalization for usual case of hep A. She ate herself a nice turkey dinner, just didn't cook it. (She's a hell of a nurse to--she had to give our 6 year old kid a gamma globulin shot and he never even woke up.) And let's get our microbiology straight--hep A=virus, in this case from oysters. Undercooked meat generally enteric bacteria, most commonly E coli or salmonella. New liver not required. And besides I only buy free range organic turkeys that are raised individually by the farmer's kids, eat at his kitchen table, and are sterilely slaughtered and cleaned by a veterinarian so no chance of getting sick.Quote:
Originally Posted by highangle
Just wait til you have to wipe. Worst part about right-handed injuries.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
2004
I was 17, and got invited to Thanksgiving dinner with my girlfriend's family. I had met her mom and dad, but no one else so this dinner would mean meeting the whole family for the first time. We'd only been dating a few months, so I was really uncomfortable going in, but being young and happy to have someone touching my wee-wee frequently, I agreed to go.
We show up for dinner and there are 30+ people there. I get introduced to, and immediately forget the names of, everyone there. The booze starts flowing and her family gets trashed in a hurry. I suffer through small talk with her aunts/uncles, and then dinner is served. About 20 minutes into the meal my girlfriend's mother gets into an argument with her grandma. The argument escalates, my girlfriend tries to intervene which only makes things worse. A scuffle ensues between the women, other people jump in and in the process of breaking it up most of the food is spilled on the floor/table.
My girlfriend grabs my hand, screams "Fuck all of you, we're leaving!" and I muttered an awkward "Nice to meet you all..." on the way out the door. Got a bj later, so it wasn't all bad.
Everyone has their own priorities I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by huckbucket
OG on top of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
Edit to add this short thread is well on its way to HOF status. Well dun all.
I can't remember a bad Thanksgiving either but this reminds me of a few years ago I was working an overtime shift at the FD in southern santa fe county. We got a psychiatric call first thing in the AM and upon arrival turns out it was an elderly lady at the local retirement home who had been eating her own feces and was completely covered in it as well. I found it ironic that was our first call on Thanksgiving.
My suggestion to the med crew was hey she's stable lets clean her up first before you put her in the med. The more senior medic just wants to get going so we load her up and once we get her in there it smells even worse than you can imagine. He sticks the probe in the back to do pt care and he gets in the front to drive. One of the bigger dick moves Ive seen...
see, that sounds like a great day to meQuote:
Originally Posted by Crock
I have found that the use of your non-dominant hand really enhances the effects of the "stranger".Quote:
Originally Posted by huckbucket
Jesus titty fucking christ man.Quote:
Originally Posted by cptpowder
Last year I was traveling in a pretty remote area of Mexico known for its oysters. Read horror stories on the pure hell that is Hep A. Really nasty. Promised myself I would remember them and resist the seductive temptation. Could not. I caved in and slurped away and got lucky. But I did learn how nasty that virus is. God speed on the recovery.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
Had a Thanksgiving at a gf's parents house where it was the second time we'd met.
I DESTROYED their toilet. It was beyond clogged...Definitely set some sort of record.
She couldn't find the plunger so we had to ask them for it. Slightly awkward.
Came down with mono about two weeks ago. Yeah yeah, I've heard all the jokes already about questionable women. This shit's pretty much sucking the life out of me. Worst turkey day ever with the fever, headaches, and sore throat. Hoping to pull through soon as I am not enjoying this at all.
1984 I had an awesome Thanksgiving on Long Island with my gf at her family's house, which included a bj before dinner in a powder room about 20 feet from the kitchen (but around a corner) where everyone was hanging out. The next day Doug Flutie threw the Hail Mary, I screamed and yelled, won some money and drank her dad's good booze. The next day we took her Dad's canary yellow Mercedes 300D turbo diesel into the city and made every single light from 120th St. down to the Battery. We weren't going to the Battery but we had to keep riding the wave. Good weekend.
We need an update from MMP