Worst Thanksgiving?

[Meadow Skipper]

I thought there was already a thread on this but I couldn't find it with a fairly diligent search. And I might have already told this story that I have.

Anyway, cooking catastrophe, psychotic relatives/dinner partner, miserable loneliness...tell a tale of a bad turkey day.

Mine was in the 70s sometime. I was visiting a couple of friends - dirtbags - that lived in Missoula. For whatever reason, we formulated a Thanksgiving plan that centered around hunting deer and feasting on that.

We had a fair amount of weed, and that was probably a fairly significant element in what happened, but a 14 inch snowstorm didn't help either. Long story short, no deer in the days preceding (or on) T-day, truck stuck in snow in the hills outside Missoula in really cold Montana weather on Thanksgiving day, worn-out stoners straggling in to town looking for somewhere open to buy some food, and three dudes ending up eating cans of beans and jerky that we bought on the only open 7-11 n town. Then the heat went out.

There are also stories about surviving the ex-in-laws with Jack Daniels and fistfuls of Valium, but that MSO fuck-up is the one I remember right now as I sit by a nice fire enjoying good smells from the kitchen with a tumbler of old bourbon in reach.

[iceman]

Well we went to clean up, but who knew the dump was closed on Thanksgiving?

[lifelinksplit]

Well I woke up to frozen pipes and no water. Luckily I had grabbed all the fixings for bloody Mary's and just got done thawing the culprit with a gas station propane heater. Time for booze and bacon! Oh and the ol lady is doing a rack of lamb instead on of turkey. Could be worse

[Meadow Skipper]

Well we went to clean up, but who knew the dump was closed on Thanksgiving?

This might just be a good place for this:


Posted from the Group W bench.

[Buster Highmen]

I remember a great Thanksgiving in Missoula in 1974 where I skied thigh deep pow at Snowbowl. Abundant times for a totally broke and alienated kid where I slept at a house up Missoula Ave and was fed for keeping the kitchen manageable and given rides up to Montana Snowbowl in an old 56 chevy truck by another one of the old Montana hipsters who lived up the Blackfoot. I remember great kindness and bloody marys at the lodge there.

I can't remember some other great Thanksgivings at a certain house in S.E. Portland during the mid seventies. It was a recurring feast with pot luck and a turkey stuffed with pot. I can remember some of the dinners but thereafter my memory goes foggy with vague recollections of nightwalks through SE Portland armed with golf clubs or garden implements, or beachballs creeping up to houses of other students and tapping on the windows, doors and walls with whatever we carried then running away to smoke out some more, swill 101 Wild Turkey and continue to the next locale.

[MakersTeleMark]

1994. Was hopping freight trains from MA to FLA for Thanksgiving break. Ended up short on time on the return, so was stuck on the side of I95 outside of Baltimore in a cold rain storm getting pounded by the semi splash hoping that hitchhiking would be a more efficient alternative.

Got picked up by Trooper. Apparently you could only hitch from a truck stop, not on the interstate on-ramps, etc. He agrees to take me to the barracks at one of the rest stops to legally continue my journey north. As I'm getting into the car, I notice his shotgun in the back. I point it out, and he responded that, yeah, he should probably put that in the trunk. We get to the barracks, and he, being happy that I wasn't a creeper who could have blown off his head and stole his cruiser, invites me in to warm up and dry out.

Turns out is was Thanksgiving day and all the wives of the guys had brought down the full spread for those who couldn't be home.

Shittiest Thanksgiving day every, but the goddamn best plate of food I've ever had. Twenty years later, I still have that image of the paper plate and the tenderness of that turkey in my mind. Corn, a dinner roll, mashers. Makes me drool.

[hutash]

Never had a bad T-day. Nearly with family, which is. ery normal and no drama. Worse food ,but best location happened the one year I wasn't with family. Camping in Anza Berrago desert, freeze dried food, but incredible desert nights.

[booner]

When my son was 3 we drove 6+ hrs to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving.

We were there for 15 minutes, and I had just sat down with a beer, when there was a loud crashing sound from the other room.

I walked around the corner to see my son laying in a pile next to the stairs, knocked out and blood everywhere. He had fallen about 15 ft from the railing upstairs at the top of the stairs. He took the impact to his face on the hardwood floor. I kicked his teeth on the floor that had been knocked out when I walked over to him.

We spent the next 6 hours in the hospital. Plastic surgery to his face, and a sprained wrist.

My autistic cousin had put him on the railing along the top the stairs because hey thought my son would like it. He fell right over after he couldn't hold on anymore.

That changed my son. He had been a really strong swimmer since he was 2....wouldn't go near a pool for a year, and took him 4 years to get to where he had been. He wouldn't go up stairs anywhere for about 6 months. He became fearful of any activity that might hurt him. He's gotten over most, but not all of it after 5 years. He's still reluctant to do anything where he might fall bad. He was the opposite of that before he fell.

[MMP]

If anyone is in or near Longmeadow mass and wouldn't mind swinging by and killing me, that would be awesome. While you're at it, kill my MIL. She's the one playing candy crush on her iPad at full volume. Thanks.

[MMP]

Wife's aunt just stormed out in w huff. Forgot her glasses. I said "oh man, that sucks! Leaving in a huff and forgetting something. Whip it up and storm out again!" Btw. I am not involved in any drama. I'm hitting my vape and drinking Julius IPA from Treehouse b

[mtngirl79]

Two years ago my mom died a week before thanksgiving. The whole family and some extended family had planned to come to Moses Hell since she couldn't travel and only had a few weeks left.

I didn't put in for time off for thanksgiving since everyone had the day off and I was staying local.

Well, since she died everyone moved thanksgiving to north of seattle...I guess I could have driven 3+ hours there for dinner and 3+ hours back in one day, but I didnt. I don't remember what I ate.

Last year I think I had pneumonia, and no oven, but I did buy some Safeway deli thanksgivingish fare.

[krp8128]

This one is at the top right now...

Mom's locked in her room. Apparently it's my fault for saying I'm leaving tomorrow because I'm sick of the yelling at fighting between my mother, my father and my 24 y.o sister who still lives at home

[MMP]

Sitting in a lawn chair in my garage drinking a beer alone. My kids are with their mom. Should have sued harder for thanksgiving.

I wish I could export my camera system footage of my wife walking behind her daughter's (our) car to stop her from leaving.

[TomCrac]

Sorry it's little long winded.

Many years ago , not enough for me, me and a best friend of mine were dating a pair of sisters, that were quite frankly, way out of our league. They were still living with their parents at the time. We ended up getting invited for Thanksgiving. Mom & Dad were big money and very conservative.

The four of us went out for the traditional Thanksgiving eve festivities. It was getting late so me and mine called it a night and I dropped her home. My buddy stayed out late.

The next day we are comparing stories. He tells me that when he brought his girl home, he walked her in to the house, first room is the kitchen, and immediately started going to town on each other. Sex all over the counter tops etc.

Later in the day, there were about 15 of us all sitting around the table. A table that would make Martha Stewart proud. So we are sitting there and then I see my friends eyes open wide, looking at his girlfriend who has the same face. I'm like wtf?, What's up?. He says he'll tell me later.

I guess they were low on plates so after the first course, plates were washed. There's dad at the head of the table with a stack of plates that he is wiping down with a dish towel and handing out till everyone had one.

Later my friend reveals that after romping the daughter all over the kitchen till the sun came up, they grabbed a dish towel to clean themselves up with and of course, he left it on the counter.

Guess which towel was being used to wipe down all the plates.

30 years later, I am still plotting revenge.

[shroom]

you don't sound like a good bro

[sb]

You guys make me feel good about working double shifts through till next Mon.

I get a break on Sat, will have family dinner then.

[NmbrdDays]

Sitting in a lawn chair in my garage drinking a beer alone. My kids are with their mom. Should have sued harder for thanksgiving.

I wish I could export my camera system footage of my wife walking behind her daughter's (our) car to stop her from leaving.

What I would have done to spend thanksgiving like that....... Sounds like quite the nice way to enjoy the day.

I'm thankful, thankful this holiday is finally over. How I dread/ hate the holidays. Time for shatter!

[Dantheman]

When my son was 3 we drove 6+ hrs to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving.

We were there for 15 minutes, and I had just sat down with a beer, when there was a loud crashing sound from the other room.

I walked around the corner to see my son laying in a pile next to the stairs, knocked out and blood everywhere. He had fallen about 15 ft from the railing upstairs at the top of the stairs. He took the impact to his face on the hardwood floor. I kicked his teeth on the floor that had been knocked out when I walked over to him.

We spent the next 6 hours in the hospital. Plastic surgery to his face, and a sprained wrist.

My autistic cousin had put him on the railing along the top the stairs because hey thought my son would like it. He fell right over after he couldn't hold on anymore.

That changed my son. He had been a really strong swimmer since he was 2....wouldn't go near a pool for a year, and took him 4 years to get to where he had been. He wouldn't go up stairs anywhere for about 6 months. He became fearful of any activity that might hurt him. He's gotten over most, but not all of it after 5 years. He's still reluctant to do anything where he might fall bad. He was the opposite of that before he fell.

Holy shit, I don't think anyone is going to top that. Could have easily been so much worse too.

[BmillsSkier]

I've never had a bad Thanksgiving along these lines but I did learn the value of "being sent to the store" today.

What should've been a 20 minute trip was made into a leisurely stop by the park with the dog, a pop-in for a shot and beer at the local dive, an extended cruise around town and then of course a stop at the store.

I missed a solid 120 minutes of anxiety-inducing bullshit from the in-laws at home.

[Sirshredalot]

One year when we were back east, my wife and I decided we would host for the first time. My sister lived across town, my folks would fly in, and her folks would drive with her younger brother. Simple menu. We would drink our own booze, and roast our own bird. And we wouldn't have to drive through fucking New Jersey.

On Sunday before turkey day, I got sick - as sick as I have been as an adult. For the next three days, I pretty much only got out of bed to punish the toilet. I certainly couldn't help with any cooking and was basically useless. I lost about 10 pounds and that week felt like an eternity.

Early Thursday morning, we got a phone call from my in laws, in hysterics, announcing that they had found my jerkoff brother in law's stash of oxy and couldn't make the drive because he couldn't make it that long without a fix. The guy is still fucked up and in and out of court and rehab programs.

The bird was already in the oven and my family was already on the way, so my wife had to cook the entire meal with her hysterical parents on and off speakerphone and me double ejecting in the upstairs bathroom.

The only silver lining is that my sister and her husband are good folks and my parents were on their best behavior. And I made it through 45 minutes at the table without shitting myself. That was an accomplishment.

[plugboots]

^^^ Dude.

[MMP]

what are you vaping?

SOL Pink Lemonade. Tasty and effective.

[Aldo]

You still in the garage?

[schwerty]

Spent two hours in the ER with my Daughter last night. She's ok. Made my first plate around 9:30 when we got home. Sucked but the rest of the day was fun.

I remember barfing at a restaurant, (on the table), with my family on thanksgiving about 30-some years ago. That sucked too.

Other than yesterday and the table barfs, all have been good in my book.

[Art Shirk]

That sucks Booner.

Years ago living in a flat in London with a few people. They took off south for T day and I stayed behind. A care package showed up for my roommate. It was full of Kraft Mac and Cheese. Sure, that crap is vile, but it reminded me of home. So, I tore into it, ate three boxes over the course of an hour and washed it all down with 24 of these weird 1/2 size Bavarian beers, a liter of Scrumpy's and a few swigs of cooking wine.

The last thing I recall is reading a bit of The Politics of Antagonism, which antagonized me. I found out later that I tried to hurl a glass of chew spit out the window and it instead broke on the sill and splattered everywhere.

Vomiting, barfing, whatever you want to call it, does not describe what I did that night. There should be a new word. Suppose that was a bad Thanksgiving.