Follow her into the bathroom and whip it out. She'll love it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
Printable View
Follow her into the bathroom and whip it out. She'll love it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
Spot her when bouldering and have her "fall" onto you.
Whatever you do, DON'T LET HER CATCH YOU LOOKING AT HER TITS
GET HER WASTED! fuck all that other shit. oldest trick in the book. haven't you ever seen a girls gone wild?
bonus: she won't even remember how shitty you were.
How did you go?
and.......
Does AKPM have virgin lips or something? I thought all the girls in Alaska were so bored that all they want is drugs, drinking, and dick.
Two weeks since the last AKMP post on the subject of women.....
I suspect some contratulations are in order...
nope I might be the biggest pussy ever. I called her today to ask her to prom and wussed out. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK why is jumping off cliffs easier then this? To whoever invented proms: :fuckyou:
Should I get drunk before or afer I ask her?
NO, just ask her. This is life, it feels wierd sometime, but that's what makes it interesting. Keep in mind that she's probably just as nervous as you, if not more. If she laughs at you, she's the bitch and will probably end up doing gang-bang porn.
Call her up...talk about stuff...mention the Merry Marmot comps and how you took some sick pics...say you've been so focused on skiing and academics (okay, that may be stretching it a bit) that you haven't thought about the prom yet...wait for her response...if she's already got someone lined up, no worries and maybe she's got a friend who needs a date...if she doesn't have a date, ask if she'd be interested- say that you would go if she does...mention how last year you made a mad fish line corsage (sp?)...if she thinks that that was cool, she's golden....just be cool...
Monkey-Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
The simple truth is you already know what she'll say. Either YES or NO. If yes you're stoked, if no you're bummed and move on to the next one.
What happened last time I thought you already had a date lined up?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDingleberry
Naw that was just a moose in his backyard.
It ambled off before he could ask her, remember?
... and you can see her with her arse in the air anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by mushmouth
her parents won't let her go out with guys alone :mad: god damnit this sucks cause she;s way cool and like meQuote:
Originally Posted by TheDingleberry
These two things are mutually exclusive.Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
God damn... I've been gone for a couple of weeks and I come back and this thread is still alive??? It's time to step it up and find out where she really stands. It sounds like her parents are definately in cock block mode... here's what you need to do. This will only work if her parents have a sense of humor. If not, you will just have to start seeing her behind there backs like any other normal teenager would do.Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
Simply show up at her house in your best "I'm just the innocent girl from next door" drag costume and ask her if she wants to go to the mall. This will amuse her in a kinky kind of way and most importantly will proove to her parents that you are sincere about dating their daughter and have balls. The only possible way this could backfire is if the dad gets amused in a kinky kind of way. If this happens, take your reach around like a man and politely excuse yourself from their presence in a way not to offend her or her mom.
Trust me, before you know it you'll be stumbling out the back door naked with clothes in hand cause her dad just pulled in the driveway 15 minutes early. Oh, the good ol days!!!
maybe I'll just hire a middle aged hooker this shit is retarted
Nice one that, "hooker" and "retarted". Oh, you didn't realize the word is "retarded"?
I think he meant a born-again hooker that was Re-Tarted
Go on Kazaa or iTunes or where ever you get music online and download everything by MC Paul Barman. He's got the right outlook on women and he's hilarious, and he'll make you more cool. For reals, do this.
I hear ya AKPM, women can suck. Today, while conversing with a lady friend from one of my classes, she mentioned that her roomate got on her nerves and she didn't have anything to do tonight, and I told her she should mosey on down the hall and drink with me. She said something like "We'll see," leading me to believe that she probably wouldn't. No big deal, I thought, I don't want to be tied down all night anyways.
But this afternoon, while talking to a mutual friend, I found out she was actually planning on stopping down. This excited me, because this bus ride, while fun, is getting to be way tooooo long. But here it is, 20 till ten and she hasn't showed up yet. It sucks, but you know what? You deal with it, get drunk, feel up the first chick that comes around, and move on. Sack up and get over it. That is the only thing that works.
Thanks PaSucksQuote:
Originally Posted by PaSucks
I will be in the Alaskan Bush all summer as of today (finally nailed down my job) wich means I won't have to worry about chicks untill college (now to get ass between now and june :FIREdevil )
Oh! come on now AKPM, there's gotta be some lonely cougers hanging out at a upscale lodge like Talaview------and there should be a few "chicks" working as staff for housekeeping or in the kitchen---just make sure you've got some "supplies" and they'll all be your special friend! :biggrin:
Are'nt you somehow connected to this place??? previous employee or family business--I somehow recall you mentioning this place in one of your previous 4000+ posts :p
Sorry, AkPM, I guess I lied. After I posted that, she stopped down, and some fun was had :biggrin: . That being said, my last line still applies. Don't look for it and it will come. Everything else, well fuck it, it don't matter. Just drink and be happy for what you got.Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
"After I posted that, she stopped down, and some fun was had " So PaSucks, by "fun" you meant a few beverages and showing her where you hang on the internut!!!? :biggrin:
Yes :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Svengali
6789
they were gonna hire me last year but then realized I was 17Quote:
Originally Posted by Svengali