(cont'd)
KURTZ: Take us into the inner sanctum of the Jon Stewart living room: 8 p.m.; do you watch...
STEWART: My living room?
KURTZ: Do you watch Phil Donahue, Connie Chung or Bill O'Reilly? Do you like any of those shows?
STEWART: "The Bachelor."
KURTZ: You're not a news junkie?
STEWART: No, honestly, I leave probably CNN on mostly all the time. Although the networks are not really meant to be watched all the time, which I realize now.
KURTZ: When did this come to you?
STEWART: As I was pulling my hair out... (LAUGHTER)
... watching the same footage over and over again of nothing.
But I do keep CNN -- I mean, Fox, let's face facts, is a relatively cynical undertaking, to begin with.
KURTZ: Because?
STEWART: Well, it's basically, it's taken the AM radio mentality and labeled it fair and balanced just to upset you guys.
KURTZ: A lot of people watch.
STEWART: Of course, a lot of people watch. A lot of people watch wrestling. A lot of people watch -- you know, you could put on porn, and I think a lot of people would watch it.
But I think they call it fair and balanced just as kind of a dig. I mean, it's not. It's clearly meant to be more ideological and more opinion-based. They took the paradigm of AM radio. By the way, I enjoy what those guys do. I find it fun to watch. It's just not a news network.
KURTZ: Speaking of CNN. CNN is now broadcasting...
STEWART: You shouldn't have let me get away with saying that they're not a news network.
KURTZ: They do cover some news. They have reporters. You seem to be...
STEWART: Thank you.
KURTZ: ... dismissing -- all right.
STEWART: But the thing about CNN is, you guys actually say you can depend on CNN. That's why I'm more upset with you than I am with them.
KURTZ: You hold CNN to a higher standard.
STEWART: Exactly. I expect that from them. From you guys, I'm upset -- what I don't understand is why you guys, with the talent and the credibility and the (UNINTELLIGIBLE) would want to take a page out of their playbook. Why wouldn't you want to take a page out of the more credible? Why wouldn't you go towards the other -- why would you go louder when you could go smarter?
KURTZ: Now, you are now part of the CNN family.
STEWART: No, I'm not.
KURTZ: And it's -- CNN has is broadcasting your show internationally.
STEWART: I am not.
KURTZ: Does that make you legitimate?
STEWART: No, I am illegitimate. I am the bastard son of anything. We're not -- we're fake. That's what...
KURTZ: Is that right?
STEWART: Yes.
KURTZ: I have a theory about this.
STEWART: That's why I don't have a tie. If I had a tie, I would be a newsman. But I am not.
KURTZ: Well, I'm going to be -- I'm going to have to take this off.
STEWART: All right.
KURTZ: I have a theory about this, which is, you've been doing this for so long, to sit in front of the big anchor desk.
STEWART: Yes.
KURTZ: But you've come to think that, "Well, gee, maybe I am kind of a journalist. I can do this."
STEWART: No.
KURTZ: I could host "CROSSFIRE."
STEWART: Well, yes, you could host "CROSSFIRE." What's that got to do with journalism? I mean, that's just a couple of knuckleheads. I mean, the promo for that is Bob Novak in a boxing outfit. I mean, for God's sakes, somehow I don't imagine Edward R. Murrow ever putting on the satin robe and going, "I'll destroy you."
KURTZ: I went to one of your tapings this week.
STEWART: Yes, you did.
KURTZ: And I can reveal -- can I say this?
STEWART: By the way, I didn't care for the heckling.
KURTZ: All right. I can reveal that all those -- you go to those live correspondent reports standing in front of the Capitol, out in North Carolina.
STEWART: That's exactly right.
KURTZ: They're right on the stage there with you.
STEWART: Yes.
KURTZ: Isn't that kind of dishonest?
STEWART: Our budget is to the point where we can only afford the picture of North Carolina. We can't actually afford the trip. So we put them in front of a just a green screen of that.
KURTZ: So you don't, you're not confusing yourself with a quote, "real journalist"?
STEWART: No. You guys are...
KURTZ: You're just making fun...
STEWART: You guys are confusing yourselves with real journalists.
KURTZ: Oh boy, you're loaded (UNINTELLIGIBLE) today.
STEWART: Instead of putting on shows like "CROSSFIRE" and "Gotcha" and "I'm Going To Kick Your Ass With Tucker Carlson" and "Let's Beat Up The Short Guy." That was just one that I...
KURTZ: I'm glad you're at least watching so much CNN, Jon.
STEWART: I am watching it constantly. It's driving me insane. Make the ticker stop. You're in the middle of a damn sniper story, and all of a sudden underneath it, you know, "Liza Minnelli's first VH1 show to air."
KURTZ: There's a new thing out called...
STEWART: What?
KURTZ: There's a new thing out called remote control. We'll have to get you one.
STEWART: But you're the news. That works for entertainment. People need you. Help us. Help us.
KURTZ: Thank you for making us feel needed, Jon Stewart. Thanks for sharing.
STEWART: Yes.