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Thanks mom I know I should be nicer to people.Quote:
Originally Posted by pisteoff
I had already skied off about 15yrds before I stopped to turn around and the liftie was already scraping him up.
The liftie was laughing too so I thought the most courteous thing to do was for me to ski off so he did not have to acknowledge his “FAIL” to both of us but thanks for your advice. :rolleyes:
Relax, I was just rattling your cage. :FIREdevilQuote:
Originally Posted by mtsprings
Similar experience: My buddy gets on the train to O'Hare to fly out for a trip. He has his ski bag and boot bag that are both emblazened with the words, "Rossignol Skis", with him and sits down. Befuddled guy sitting across from him asks my buddy after 10 minutes of staring asks, "those aren't skis are they?" My buddy replies in a dead-pan tone, "obviously you're not a bowler."Quote:
Originally Posted by Deep Days
Just about everyone I know has done this for years. It comes in handy at the end of the day on cattracks like Dally at BC. You're trying to conserve your speed to get back to the bottom and every clown in front of you feels it's necessary to cut back and forth across the 60' wide track.Quote:
Originally Posted by Parvo
This is funny. Consider it stolen.Quote:
Originally Posted by jstorrs
Over the weekend in the liftline a teenager on rental snowlerblades was looking me and my buddy's not exactly long ski's (178 and 169), looks at us and his snowboarder friend and the following conversation took place:
Fruitbooter: "Your skis are longer than mine"
Me: "yup, but those aren't skis"
FB: "no they are snow blades, good for doing 360s"
My friend muttering: "they're gay" (followed by some other derogatory comments)
Me: (trying to be civil and muffle my friend): "thats cool, you should try some longer skis, you'll find them to be more stable, you can still spin 360s on 177s"
FB: "i don't speak that language, but they are cool"
Me: "I guess if you're into rollerblading"
Kid: DEAD SILENT for rest of time in line
Once back on the lift, my friend responded, "wow you were way nicer than I would've been".
At Mammoth this weekend the snow was hard and the sky clear. The wind was light to nothing at the bottom and raging at between 30-60 at the top causing some minor snow plumes. Wife was eating at the bottom of Chair 2 when she heard the woman next to her telling someone that they must be making snow at the top of the mountain.
Obviously you're not a golfer.Quote:
Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
Oh, both my buddy and I know that the quote is "golfer". The use of bowler was intentional to heighten the absurdity of the gawker's comment.Quote:
Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark
Not so much a quote as an occurance:
This past Sunday (1.11) at Crow's Nest lift line (of which there wasn't one) @ Sugar Bowl: as I ripped down into the line I noticed a gentleman off to the side hopping on one foot. His right foot was in his boots, his left foot dangling out, was bare. He eventually fell down on his ass, working way too hard to get his bare foot back into his other boot. His wife was standing idly by. I watched in amazement and then said "Rocking the barefoot stance, eh?" The guy looked up, exasperrated (he still hadn't gotten his bare foot back into the boot) and then his wife calmly said "Yeah, they're new boots."
I noticed they were close to top-of-the-line Nordicas (the ones with the new gauche, furry liners).
I was about to say something in regards to having gotten a proper fit, but offered up suggestions on thin socks (Smartwool) to which they replied, "Yes, we know, but the boots are too tight to wear socks".
Thankfully it was a warm, balmy day, but I'd hate to be this dude when it drops below freezing...
The other day at Loveland.
17" of new powder.
Guy with thick texass accent in liftline says to his buddy, "When are they going to pack down all this snow for the good skiers?" :eek::eek:
So I have gotten, are those trick skis before, and have laughed and said yes they are. But about 3 weeks ago we were skiing keystones park at night and got asked that. The ironic thing was we were dressed in these.
http://i43.tinypic.com/5wy251.jpg
Not from the weekend or even this decade, and not a gaper quote so much as a story...
This happened to a friend of mine who got pretty seriously into racing. He was at Whistler either for a race or training (can't remember), so he's wearing the spiderman suit, and a Japanese tourist comes up to him and says in broken english...
"You racer!"
My buddy says, "Yeah, I'm a racer :rolleyes:"
The tourist says, "You sign!"
and my buddy is like 'huh?'
"You sign! You sign... autograph."
"No, I'm not famous"
"Yes, you racer, you sign"
"I don't have a pen"
The tourist produces a pen. But not just any pen - a sharpie. Thinking 'what harm could it do?' my buddy agrees to an autograph...
"Ok, I'll sign. Give me your lift ticket."
"No, you sign jacket!"
Now this was the late 80s so the guy is wearing an expensive white Bogner or Descante jacket. Something that cost more than my friend's skis.
"No, no, I can't ruin your jacket. I'm not famous. I'm nobody. Just a racer."
"Yes, yes. You racer. You sign."
So he signed the guy's jacket.
I asked if he at least signed the name of someone famous and he said, "no, I just signed my name".
Overheard by two snowboarders talking:
SB1: Dude, did you see that guy go off the lip of Corbets at about 30 miles an hour and throw a switch, corked 720, and totally stomp the landing?
SB2: I didn't see it first hand, but I saw a picture.
SB1: Were you thinking the same thing I was thinking?
SB2: Totally! He grabbed it Tindy!! GAY.
SB1: Exactly. Fuckin' sloppy.
Umm... You're kidding, right? The socks aren't going to keep you much warmer.... I ski in a silk liner and that's only so my sweaty feet will slip into the boot.Quote:
Originally Posted by dookey67
In 2003ish, there was some sort of international junior race event going on at Sunshine. My friend T and I are there skiing. T has spent the entire season skiing in a Spyder official Team USA 2 piece suit that the manager of Banff Mountain Wear sold him for really cheap (presumably because we're in Canada and no-one wanted a USA suit).
Junior racer chick (looking around confused, sees T wearing a USA jacket, assumes he's a fellow racer): "Excuse me, do you know where the bib draw is?"
T (pretty toasted from a safety meeting last run, has never raced before): "What the HELL is a BIB DRAW?!?"
(Awkward silence, racer chick eventually skis away)
It's still funny to me to this day :D
This is my favorite Gaper quote, and not the part about the racer girl mistaking some guy in a Team USA racing outfit, but Jukes entire post. FKNA!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukes
On the marker board at the base of the lift the ops wrote "Watch out for snow Snakes!" Two dudes in jeans ask each other what a snow snake looks like and where they hide.......I couldn't help it so I told them to go into the lodge and ask for some shin guards at the store......unable to keep a straight face I load the lift and notice them clicking out of their bindings.
Not a quote but today a guy went flying by on the left under the LL exit underpass, then I noticed the Texas plates and thought how lucky he was that there wasn't a semi flying through.
Riding up a 6 person chair the guy next to me keeps kicking my ski's, which are as close together in front of me as I could manage. I ask him nicely to stop--he syas he has to keep doing it or his torn up knee will freeze. He kept kicking me the whole way up. Not really a gaper quote though--the guy could ski--bad knee, 70's skinny skis and all.
whiteface mt.? i think ive seen that written there beforeQuote:
Originally Posted by HuckStixCO
I'm guessing he means how miserable it would be dealing with stiff new boots you can barely get your feet into on a warm day when they freeze solid and you can't get them on/off. Hilarious either way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
hahah saw this vid and thought i would fit perfectly into this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxDkI...eature=related
Reminded me of a guy I rode lift 1 with, went the whole way up with his snowboard parallel to the chair, hitting a bunch of towers ALL the way up.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
Taking a chair over an adult group ski school......."So are all these trees going to survive this snow?"
"It's not your fault, it's the ski":nonono2::nonono2::nonono2:Quote:
Originally Posted by pbourdon
I saw this picture of this guy a few weeks ago, and he was caught in a chair, and his pants were...ahhh, nevermind man.
mott canyon at heave two days ago- i am traversing over to the steeper stuff and a skier boarder gaper combo is shredding down- the skier is a mess but his boarding buddy says- "dude this is too steep i will break my board if i get off my heels"
also at the flats of sky chair I looked like a gaper when i did emergency stop to avoid boarder and caught an edge and flipped ass over end- the impact knocked my hat and gogs off- sadly i was the only one laughing- i said "wow that was embarrassing" and got up- none of those fucks even laughed or responded
Copper Mt, avoiding two young girls pieing back up the hill on our way to apres, my buddy takes me out hard. I hit face shoulder flip over (so glad I was wearing my helmet). Come to a sliding stop on my stomach, pretty dazed no idea what happened look up to see two over weight jean and rear entry boot wearing folks, picking up their 1970s era K2 straits, I think I took them out in the fall, didn't friend lets me know what had happened. The portly folks retort with "thats why we're walking down because you fellers on them there ski-boards!" Friend responds with "its ok we're friends".
Side note crashed broke my board at the nose and both carbon fiber highbacks. Thank god I wasn't on my LP Dukes!
Good lord, saw the same guy in the safeway parking lot earlier wearing a full on arctic parka, all zipped up with the hood on. I look over at the bank and its saying 35*....Quote:
Originally Posted by karpiel
Overheard on Tuesday 1/6/2009 at Sunrise Park Resort, AZ, after a 12-16" dump. I was in knee- thigh deep snow all day off of the Cyclone lift and heard a snowboarder yell to his friends.
"This f*cking blows. I keep getting stuck and I've got snow up to my ballsac."
Most of the snowboarders and a lot of the skiers were getting stuck. I pretty much had the place to myself for the rest of the day and I was glad that I had my Gotamas with me.
Sunrise blows no matter what.Quote:
Originally Posted by FeralDirtbag
How come I always get trapped by the tourons in the Whistler gondy when it is super windy, slow running?
Thank the snow gods I can hide behind my fat skis
Those are strange bindings (fritschi freerides). What are they for?
There's so much snow.. lets get a coffee first.
hosers
love this site!
man I love when that happens, I remember I was at mount washington and they actually got a really good dump and it was coming down all day, and all the gappers gave up, and if i ever was on a chair with a stranger they were just having a great time too.. mm one of my best days ever... shame mt washington sucks and I can't do that too often.Quote:
Originally Posted by FeralDirtbag
But i guess i should give a gapper quote or something.. hmm I was on the chair and hear someone ask about moguls, and this old guy carefully explain that they have a large storage garage down the hill where they wheel them off for the summer ;)
last year at elitist, groomed out, stuck up capital of the east (staying with friends who have a home there), ran into some people from our hometown who have a ski house there. They asked if we would be skiing there the next day, when we answered yes, they asked what we would be wearing so they could find us. We looked at each other, then down at our clothes and said " well, THIS!"
thats one of the best ones yet. he should have signed it "Dick Sucker" or something like tahtQuote:
Originally Posted by pisteoff
At Telluride this guy says, 'I'm a local, I just moved here from the east coast.' What a gaper.
Like this one?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hart
I got on super condor the other day with what I assumed was a mother/daughter combo on skis (I was boarding that day) and the elder woman says to the younger "I wish they wouldn't put skiers and snowboarders on the same chair, it's too hard to get off."
My feelings were hurt and I rode in silence. Normally I'm very talkative on the lift with tourists (market researching) but I was withdrawn and found myself wishing they liked me. I wanted to interject into their fascinating conversation on Milton (the daughter was attending Columbia), but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.
So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful. :frown:
Just saw a guy the other day with the wrong boot on each foot...that was classic!
Sounds like you need someone who cares to talk to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Parvo
I wish it could be me but………….. I just don’t give a shit.
Try PMing Rontele