Signs That the Price of Gas is Out of Control:
1. This year's big Memorial Day weekend race: "The Indy 5"
2. John Deere mowers are now actual deer
3. Guy at gas station who changes prices has developed "carpal tunnel syndrom"
4. Exxon now offering special 3.9% financing
5. It takes longer to fill up your tank these days because the escrow department is overwhelmed
6. Paris Hilton will have to carpool to jail.
7. In order to keep driving Kit the Knightrider car, David Hasselhoff is now eating Mac and cheese off the living room floor.
8. Next season’s “American Chopper” will be renamed to “American Moped”
9. Free car with purchase of fill-up.
10. Jay Leno is now collecting postage stamps.
11. Drive-by siphonings.
12. New show “pimp my steam-engine”
13. Bush now planning to invade actor Vin Diesel.
14. Regis Philbin hosting new game show: “Who wants to drive home?”
15. Dominoes Pizza now delivered by Federal Express