Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Could be mistaken for a gaper at Vail:



Older guy skiing Forever under the 5 line

in a Budweiser NASCAR jacket

wearing a Budweiser cowboy hat

skiing without poles

drinking... a Budweiser




You can't make this stuff up, and he was too awesome to look away & grab the cameraphone.

Coming from a self described "expert skier" and who is a PSIA level II instructor who is a total know it all byotch who loves to talk about her trips out West...

I was describing skiing Mt. Washington, NH this weekend and I used the term bowl, as in "we traversed across the rim of the bowl before dropping in".

"Bowl? What do you mean bowl?" I explain. "Oh we call those runs".

"I can't believe that bitch fired me for being late."
How late were you?
"Two hours, but she knew it was a powder day!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mcski

"I can't believe that bitch fired me for being late."
How late were you?
"Two hours, but she knew it was a powder day!"

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That wasn't a gaper, that was a maggot.

riding up summit-6 at Alpine Meadows Saturday, having a quiet conversation to my buddy about the avy conditions (high) and pointing out each crown and propogated slide I see. I was somewhere around 6 or 7 when a guy across the chair, oblivious to the conversation I was having, says "Looks like avalanche activity was minimal" whilst our chair had been passing views of crown after crown, and is now directly facing a 30' x 1.5' deep crown in wolverine.

This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.

I declare this thread dead. After the Presidents Week, we have nothing funnier than this???

D.O.A.

Skeeze, I think gain massive GNAR points for that one.

buddy posts a picture on fb of animal prints in snow, with the caption "guess what i saw?"
someone posts "moose?"
the picture showed, very clearly, paw prints with claws.

Attachment 94002

Just wanted to share some quality style points.

Guy in liftline pointing at my dukes: "Your bindings are so tall because it makes climbing easier. I went seal skinning once and know all about those."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skeeze

This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.

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What's the problem? You were STILL the best Snowlerblader on the mountain....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skeeze

The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

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Around here you get sent to the back of the line for that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kip0130

I heard this week at Blue Knob.
"This is real skiing, none of that fancy stuff out west where all they care about is how they look"

"You know you can't buy skis without bindings already on them?"

"Why didn't they groom this powder? It's terrible to ski in"

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first I think I know you.

second Blue Knob is sick!

It's sick that there's a place out there called Blue Knob. Is that anything like Blue Balls? That's even better than Pine Knob.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skeeze

This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Downbound Train

What's the problem? You were STILL the best Snowlerblader on the mountain....

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I was thinking the same thing

Quote:

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Originally Posted by time2clmb

What a fucking looser. WOW you can buy stuff. Impressive.

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Not on topic at all, but goddamn annoying, when people use the word "looser" to describe a loser. Basic spelling and grammar are not strong points here - including mining engineers'. More importantly, STFU and stop gumming up the thread with pointless drivel about how good/bad your/his degree is/isn't.

From last season, but definitely post worthy:http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/7777/img0036xv.jpg

Yesterday: some dad talking shop about boards in line to the guys behind him. One of them is on a budweiser snowboard (what?) and then daddio proceeds to have a very sketchy run down the hill. His kid looked like he was ripping some fun though.

I spotted an old guy wearing ski boots in safeway today at 5 pm.

On Sunday I decided to switch it up and go to Snowmass instead of my usual Highlands/Ajax where from the Alpine Springs chair, I witnessed about 30 people waiting for the rope to drop on the noon groom which I thought was pretty hilarious but hey, whatever floats your boat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by G

I spotted an old guy wearing ski boots in safeway today at 5 pm.

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that is hardcore!!!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nateski

buddy posts a picture on fb of animal prints in snow, with the caption "guess what i saw?"
someone posts "moose?"
the picture showed, very clearly, paw prints with claws.

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At what elevation do the moose turn into wolverines?

Can a ski resort be a gaper? Broken arrow at squaw is a double chair, with a singles line. Maybe I'm the gaper but I don't get it.

Perhaps not a gaper, but I thought this was funny...

Going up the gondola at Jackson on a pseudo-pow day, a woman looks down at the slopes and says, "This can't be 6". Some man must have measured it!" I laughed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mangle

"This can't be 6". Some man must have measured it!" I laughed.

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The proper response is "I will give you 6"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by old goat

Can a ski resort be a gaper? Broken arrow at squaw is a double chair, with a singles line. Maybe I'm the gaper but I don't get it.

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WORD!
We got in that line Saturday, and just cut in front after letting a few through.
It was a shame Silvy wasn't open.