Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

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Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker

Cheer up there champ. once you have that third you'll wish you had the last weeks sleep. It'll get better in about 4 years.

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https://media.giphy.com/media/EMjOqou6VPxjG/giphy.gif

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Originally Posted by ghosthop

For those of you with wives that are vegetarian/vegan, did they do anything to change their diet or just rely on the prenatal vitamins?

My wife is halfway through week 6 and nausea hit her like a bus. If you asked, she would tell you she is pescetarian but she's really a vegetarian that didn't want to give up shellfish. Previously, we ate at least 50% vegan at home. She started out great adding fish 3x/week to her diet but over the past few days has gone from sharing equal portions, to a few bites, to not being able to stomach anything. I am going to see how she does with bay scallops and any gulf shrimp still around but I'm not overly hopeful until the nausea goes away.

I do not want to make anything harder on her right now and want to balance that with getting as many good nutrients to her and the embryo as possible. She's been really stoked on oats and leafy greens. Has no desire for anything egg right now and even before the pregnancy could only tolerate a little dairy. I have been thinking we need to increase our lentils after a Fall spent eating local beans two or three times a week and am planning on picking up a few different kinds of nuts this weekend.

Anyone go through this and have suggestions? We meet with the OB the first week of January and will talk with them in detail.

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You’re going to be a Dad ?

CONGRATULATIONS !

I remember meeting when you were a broke-ass college kid in Bozeman. Happy for you, this will be a cool journey.


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Don't people know better than to bring up co-sleeping?!?!? It's a contentious issue, a third rail much like vaxxing.

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Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker

Cheer up there champ. once you have that third you'll wish you had the last weeks sleep. It'll get better in about 4 years.

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Originally Posted by skaredshtles

https://media.giphy.com/media/EMjOqou6VPxjG/giphy.gif

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Hehehe

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

This is one of the dumbest things posted in this thread. Infants and young children sleeping with their parents is more common than not around the world. It’s not like they’re going to continue sleeping with you into their teens.


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It can lead to more sleep problems for everyone and is a slippery slope. During the eight years I spent with my three kids through a preschool Co-op, I talked to many dozens of parents. The were many times someone would complain about their kid throwing up on them while sleeping, the bad sleep, etc. The majority rest of us who never went down that path (never gave in and gave our kids the idea it was okay to sleep with us) just kept quiet and laughed to ourselves.

I don't think my kids were scarred from having to stay in their own bed. They seem ok, mostly.

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

Well I’m glad you guys made us aware of the dangers. I’m going to have reconsider this, my adult children are likely stunted because of it.

Seriously, the concept of infants and toddlers sleeping isolated from their parents is a very new idea if you look at human history.

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Uh, lots of things are new ideas such as vaccines, germ theory. What exactly is your point?

Parents used to do a whole lot of stuff to their kids that we don't recommend anymore.

We slept with ours.
Personally, minimizing parenting effort wasn't really a goal, having secure, confident kids was. I confess to parenting to the opposite of what my parents did.

Sleep suffered a little on my end, much more so on my wifes with breast feeding, but it would have taken armies to convince her of any other way.

Everyone is different and that's a good thing.

^^ This. Anyone being judgmental about such a simple thing one way or the other needs to STFU. I mean who gives a shit?

I thought getting barfed on was a badge of fatherhood. No?
What about the explosive diarrhea and failing diaper while in line at the store?

I readily admit I have no real idea what I was doing, fatherhood was terrifying at so many levels, especially given how my brother and I ended up. So, yeah, no judgement there.

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Originally Posted by riser3

Don't people know better than to bring up co-sleeping?!?!? It's a contentious issue, a third rail much like vaxxing.

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Or circumcision. :D

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

I thought getting barfed on was a badge of fatherhood. No?
What about the explosive diarrhea and failing diaper while in line at the store?

I readily admit I have no real idea what I'm doing, fatherhood was terrifying at so many levels, especially given how my brother and I ended up.

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Had the diaper gasket leakage happen at a restaurant about 20 years ago, good times.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

Had the diaper gasket leakage happen at a restaurant about 20 years ago, good times.

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>>clink of glasses<<

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Originally Posted by yeahman

Doing it into their teens isn't the issue. It's wanting to do it when they are 3,4,5, etc. Basically it's a short term solution to sleep issues that creates a longterm problem. If you value your sleep, let the kid learn to sleep on their own at a very early age. We let our first kid sleep in our bed one night and were like fuck this!

No different than using leashes, hoola hoops, etc., to teach the kid to ski. Totally unnecessary crutch that just creates habits that become harder and harder to break.

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The hula hoop can be useful if you do it right. There's no need to malign it.

Agreed on leashes and letting the kid sleep in your bed, though.

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

I thought getting barfed on was a badge of fatherhood. No?
What about the explosive diarrhea and failing diaper while in line at the store?

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I dumped an undie-load of kid turds on my wife's head not realizing they were in there.

My youngest had a sensitive tummy and a hair trigger. Something about that cool air on the bum and not being home led to several down-range walls getting Pollock'd mid diaper change.

I remember finding out one of the guys I played football with in high school still slept in his parents bed... and so did his brother.



Seriously WTF.

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Originally Posted by exsparky

I remember finding out one of the guys I played football with in high school still slept in his parents bed... and so did his brother.



Seriously WTF.

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Have you checked in lately? Still happening? NTTAWWT

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

Had the diaper gasket leakage happen at a restaurant about 20 years ago, good times.

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Ours was in the back of the Subaru driving cross-country.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

Had the diaper gasket leakage happen at a restaurant about 20 years ago, good times.

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My best diaper leakage story actually belongs in the trip report thread. But I only tell that story in person. So if I ever meet any of you IRL, try to jog my memory and I'll tell it.

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Originally Posted by riser3

My best diaper leakage story actually belongs in the trip report thread. But I only tell that story in person. So if I ever meet any of you IRL, try to jog my memory and I'll tell it.

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Oh, c'mon. Spill. What better venue than this?

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

Oh, c'mon. Spill. What better venue than this?

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Nope. In person.

Cosleeping made camping easier. And it lead to purchases of paco pads, which also made camping easier.

I blame parents being told not to sleep with their kids for all of the problems in America. The Japanese symbol for river, "kawa," is also the same symbol as where a child sleeps in the house; safely between the river banks of the two parents. They don't even know what a crib is in Japan.

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What’s the symbol for tornado between two parents?

Those look like railroad spikes.

or horse penises.

Wait, so Kawasaki means river of rice wine in English?

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Originally Posted by skaredshtles

Or circumcision. :D

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What do you call a poor quality circumcision?

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Originally Posted by riser3

Nope. In person.

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Is it because you have to do "the thumb on the end of a hose" visual or you like start speaking really quietly until the other person moves in and you do a big raspberry in their face?

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Originally Posted by altasnob

I blame parents being told not to sleep with their kids for all of the problems in America. The Japanese symbol for river, "kawa," is also the same symbol as where a child sleeps in the house; safely between the river banks of the two parents. They don't even know what a crib is in Japan.

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I guess now we know where to place blame for all of the problems in Japan.

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Originally Posted by exsparky

I remember finding out one of the guys I played football with in high school still slept in his parents bed... and so did his brother.

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https://media.giphy.com/media/ukGm72ZLZvYfS/giphy.gif

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Originally Posted by altasnob

I blame parents being told not to sleep with their kids for all of the problems in America. The Japanese symbol for river, "kawa," is also the same symbol as where a child sleeps in the house; safely between the river banks of the two parents. They don't even know what a crib is in Japan.

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Japan has one of the lowest rates of parenthood of anywhere in the world. While there is an awful lot to admire in their society, I'm not sure that they should be looked to as unquestioned experts in matters of raising kids.

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Originally Posted by Yonder_River

Never let a kid sleep in your bed. It's more work for you but stick with it. It can be a tough habit to break if it gets hold.

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He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

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Originally Posted by neufox47

He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

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Hang in there... they'll be out of the house (maybe) in 18-ish years.

:fmicon:

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.


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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.


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You got all that out of "they'll be out of the house (maybe) in 18-ish years?"

As a mom, please do whatever the fuck works for you. We didn’t co-sleep but at age 3 our son was waking up in the night crying a lot. Solved by putting a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and when he woke up I’d just reach down and rub his head or hold his hand. We did that for 8 months. Transitioned him back to his bed (full size which was key so one of us could lay next to him a bit if needed and also was useful when he was in our room sleeping but we needed privacy ha) and everything was fine. Up to age 9 or 10 he still liked to snuggle but definitely wanted to be in his own bed to sleep. At 15 he barely talks to me. lol.

OTOH my SIL did the co-sleep thing and her kids also turned out just fine and at 15 also don’t want to sleep in mom and dad’s bed. So yeah, it will be fine either way. DO NOT STRESS about that decision.

{slowly leaves dad thread}

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Originally Posted by hikesalot

As a mom, please do whatever the fuck works for you. We didn’t co-sleep but at age 3 our son was waking up in the night crying a lot. Solved by putting a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and when he woke up I’d just reach down and rub his head or hold his hand. We did that for 8 months. Transitioned him back to his bed (full size which was key so one of us could lay next to him a bit if needed and also was useful when he was in our room sleeping but we needed privacy ha) and everything was fine. Up to age 9 or 10 he still liked to snuggle but definitely wanted to be in his own bed to sleep. At 15 he barely talks to me. lol.

OTOH my SIL did the co-sleep thing and her kids also turned out just fine and at 15 also don’t want to sleep in mom and dad’s bed. So yeah, it will be fine either way. DO NOT STRESS about that decision.

{slowly leaves dad thread}

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My youngest kid just hit a blanket and pillow on the floor. He started in his bed and woke up around 2 and headed straight to the floor. I think lasted about a year around 8 and I didn't stress about it and he's a pretty well adjusted high school senior. Americans need to lighten up, quite a few cultures sleep with their kids and alot of places use one common sleeping room for their whole family. Pretty sure we have the most high school shootings per capita in the world so let's not cast too many stones.

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.

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Relax man. You sound offended that the majority of Dad's here didn't prefer kid's sleeping in their parents beds. And patriarchy has nothing to do with it. I'm willing to bet most wives (including mine for sure) were absolutely on board with it.

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Originally Posted by neufox47

He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

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I shouldn't have said "never", but more along the lines of be careful with it. Especially since you were mentioning lack of sleep. The trundle bed sounds like a great option.


Speaking of sleep or lack of it. Has anyone's kids had night terrors? Our middle child had them for four years - about every night. Woke us up with non-stop crying and screaming on average about five times a night between the 10pm and 3am. Each episode lasted at least 15 minutes and there was very little we could really do to affect the situation. He generally had no recollection of them in the morning. It was torture. Holy shit, that really made me question my sanity and being a father. Then they started gradually started getting better and are now gone. But I hear parasomnia's can return in the late teen years so I'm crossing my fingers that that beast never surfaces again..

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Originally Posted by Yonder_River

You sound offended that the majority of Dad's here didn't prefer kid's sleeping in their parents beds.

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Huh? A bunch of us just said it's fine and who cares?

My children have never slept in my parent's bed

At the risk of crashing the fatherhood thread, I would like to add to what one of the moms posted perviously, oops...previously.

Andrew slept with Nubs and me until he was about 8 1/2 because he used to have terrible nightmares. There was a time after a weekend space camp in Brainerd he insisted spacemen were trying to abduct him and take him to their planet. But to echo the other mom--and as you know--Andrew is doing fine these days. He has a nice job and the occasional girlfriend, though I do wish he would settle down with one eventually. Nubs would tell Andrew a bedtime joke each night and since its Christmas time, this was one of his favorites.
"What kind of sheets does the Gingerbread Man sleep on?"
"Cookie sheets."

Merry Christmas from our family to yours this season!