Why Does My Stuff Grow So Fast?

Yeah...hair, beard, fingernails, toenails....it all grows really, really fast. Creepily so. The girl that cuts my hair is always amazed when I go in for a trim... "weren't you just here a few weeks ago?" I can pretty much watch my fingernails grow. I've got a 5 o'clock shadow by noon (everywhere except my mustachio, which makes beards look retarded on me...).

What's the deal? Did I eat too many lead paint chips as a kid? Maybe I shouldn't have played by the local nuclear reactor when I was younger? Does this mean I'll look 60 when I'm 40?

Does this mean I'm super duper virile? You'd certainly think so, what with my wife getting pregnant every time I give her a kiss on the forehead (cue mail/milk/post man joke)....

It actually freaks me out a little bit when I start to obsess about it.....

My hair grows way faster in the summertime. I'm totally solar, man.

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Originally Posted by focus

"weren't you just here a few weeks ago?"

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Wait a minute. Don't most people get their hair cut every few weeks?

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Does this mean I'm super duper virile? You'd certainly think so, what with my wife getting pregnant every time I give her a kiss on the forehead

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Maybe you're not aware of this, but they make a variety of products to prevent this... :fm:

She isn't surprised that I'm there, she's surprised by the mop that's grown in the interim.

Products that prevent pregnancy? No shit? Tell me more....

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Originally Posted by focus

Products that prevent pregnancy? No shit? Tell me more....

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Abstinence, dude. It's all about abstinence. :)

Step 1: Go to video store
Step 2: Rent TeenWolf
Step 3: Watch, take notes
Step 4: Repeat

My hair grows fast also. However, just when I start to have that thought, I always remember the alternative. We have no right to complain.

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Originally Posted by Arty50

My hair grows fast also. However, just when I start to have that thought, I always remember the alternative. We have no right to complain.

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Ding Ding, I have to get my hair cut every week but my uncle lost all his at like 28 so it could be worse

Stop eating...problem solved.

Don't worry, someday you will be old, fat and bald like a lot of men, and it won't be a problem. Youth is wasted on the young.

Protien. You are not a vegetarian, I imagine.

I have the opposite problem I still have a face like a two year old minus the hispanic looking stasch that makes me look like a child molester

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Originally Posted by Arty50

We have no right to complain.

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And don't forget it. :the_finge

I think the answer is, you're healthy. If you weren't healthy, you would be suffering from a completely different group of um, maladies.

Stud muffin.

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Originally Posted by focus

Yeah...hair, beard, fingernails, toenails....it all grows really, really fast. Creepily so. The girl that cuts my hair is always amazed when I go in for a trim... "weren't you just here a few weeks ago?" I can pretty much watch my fingernails grow. I've got a 5 o'clock shadow by noon (everywhere except my mustachio, which makes beards look retarded on me...).

What's the deal? Did I eat too many lead paint chips as a kid? Maybe I shouldn't have played by the local nuclear reactor when I was younger? Does this mean I'll look 60 when I'm 40?

Does this mean I'm super duper virile? You'd certainly think so, what with my wife getting pregnant every time I give her a kiss on the forehead (cue mail/milk/post man joke)....

It actually freaks me out a little bit when I start to obsess about it.....

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Well our ancestors were hairy creatures, maybe evolution passed you by.

*coming from a hairy bastard*