The talented Mr. Highmen(or how to get spancered)

I'm dying here.

Sorry about the re-post but...this is how it's done kids.

Buster Highmen's Eider application:


I am a dynamic figure, often seen skiing walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel tram stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Etruscan refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I yo-yo Mt. Superior for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike posting, I can pilot rubber dolphins up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in rilling, a veteran in love, and was an outlaw in the Peruvian.

Using only a pole and a large bladder, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Andes from a horde of ferocious journalists. I play the electric bagpipe, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract algebra, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy ski wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I slalom, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact parenting. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but smoked it. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mogul and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet be spancered.
__________________
Ask not what your corporations can do for you, but what you can do for your corporations.

Buster Highmen

[Thunderous Applause]

Dear Eider,

I once spent all day "absorbing" one of Buster's posts, got a brain cramp and had to start over the next day. Oddly enough I'm not spancerd either.

I cannot stop laughing.

That is god damn funniest thing I have ever read. Seriously.

Every line in that was epic. Your a funny bastard.

:biggrin: sandbagger

POTM............... :fm:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by str8line

Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but smoked it.
Buster Highmen

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That's interesting.

To be honest, I kyped most of it from some crazy blurb on the internet and tuned it to skiing.

Hugh Gallagher called. He wants to know if he can be sponsored too.

And there you have it. (and it's spAncered, or so I'm told)

I emit small wads. I have known stretchpants, stovepipes, calliopes and played quoits with the Agha Khan. No binding is unknown to me, no vector field undifferentiated, no variety unpartitioned. I sample deoderants professionally, but grant tea leave readings to the wealthy.

I bowl with grace, aplomb and fortitude. Bowling pins quaver at my smell. I've fenced with unguents from beyond the third bardo. My hair is not perfect, but I take private lesions from phUnk. I've ripped the shit out of pants around the computation. I'm ready to Stacey anytime, anywhere. Fight me focker.
My equivariant g-bundle admits smoothings at all points, homotops to umbilics and thrashes the crust inconnu. I have summited Death Valley, swum the Pyrenees and danced the hoochy coochie at the prom.
I optimize code paths, deconstruct religions and sooth lost mushrooms.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

and sooth lost mushrooms.

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that's where they went. i was starting to worry.

I cause viruses to mutate.

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

That's right, I have rassled with a alligator. I done tussled with a whale! I done handcuffed lightning, throwed thunder in jail! That's *bad*. Only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I'm so mean, I make medicine sick!


the greatest.....cassius clay

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Zeedashbo

that's where they went. i was starting to worry.

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I've seen his liftline soothing and it's smoove sailing. You can rest easy knowing your missing fungi have found gastronaumic safety.

Buster Highmen is a perfeshunal.