The talented Mr. Highmen(or how to get spancered)

[str8line]

I'm dying here.

Sorry about the re-post but...this is how it's done kids.

Buster Highmen's Eider application:


I am a dynamic figure, often seen skiing walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel tram stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Etruscan refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I yo-yo Mt. Superior for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike posting, I can pilot rubber dolphins up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in rilling, a veteran in love, and was an outlaw in the Peruvian.

Using only a pole and a large bladder, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Andes from a horde of ferocious journalists. I play the electric bagpipe, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract algebra, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy ski wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I slalom, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact parenting. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but smoked it. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mogul and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet be spancered.
__________________
Ask not what your corporations can do for you, but what you can do for your corporations.

Buster Highmen

[Arty50]

[Thunderous Applause]

[Shin-to-Win]

Dear Eider,

I once spent all day "absorbing" one of Buster's posts, got a brain cramp and had to start over the next day. Oddly enough I'm not spancerd either.

[altagirl]

I cannot stop laughing.

[EastCoast2835]

That is god damn funniest thing I have ever read. Seriously.

Every line in that was epic. Your a funny bastard.

[Karl Stall]

sandbagger

[mrryde]

POTM...............

[Powdurr]

Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but smoked it.
Buster Highmen

That's interesting.

[Buster Highmen]

To be honest, I kyped most of it from some crazy blurb on the internet and tuned it to skiing.

[slim]

Hugh Gallagher called. He wants to know if he can be sponsored too.

[Buster Highmen]

And there you have it. (and it's spAncered, or so I'm told)

[Buster Highmen]

I emit small wads. I have known stretchpants, stovepipes, calliopes and played quoits with the Agha Khan. No binding is unknown to me, no vector field undifferentiated, no variety unpartitioned. I sample deoderants professionally, but grant tea leave readings to the wealthy.

I bowl with grace, aplomb and fortitude. Bowling pins quaver at my smell. I've fenced with unguents from beyond the third bardo. My hair is not perfect, but I take private lesions from phUnk. I've ripped the shit out of pants around the computation. I'm ready to Stacey anytime, anywhere. Fight me focker.
My equivariant g-bundle admits smoothings at all points, homotops to umbilics and thrashes the crust inconnu. I have summited Death Valley, swum the Pyrenees and danced the hoochy coochie at the prom.
I optimize code paths, deconstruct religions and sooth lost mushrooms.

[Zeedashbo]

and sooth lost mushrooms.

that's where they went. i was starting to worry.

[The AD]

I cause viruses to mutate.

[Zeedashbo]

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

That's right, I have rassled with a alligator. I done tussled with a whale! I done handcuffed lightning, throwed thunder in jail! That's *bad*. Only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I'm so mean, I make medicine sick!


the greatest.....cassius clay

[truth]

that's where they went. i was starting to worry.

I've seen his liftline soothing and it's smoove sailing. You can rest easy knowing your missing fungi have found gastronaumic safety.

[Monique]

Buster Highmen is a perfeshunal.