Rusty Nails and the Man Blouse: or AKA What hath Seattle wraught!
I need a cold compress and a stiff drink.
Really.
My world has been turned upside down.
Chapter 1: In the Gloaming
It all started innocently enough. Skiing in the morning at alpenglow, a chance meeting with AKpowderMankey. Rusty and I carving arcs into the smooth surface of a windbuff soft crust.
Ah but who knew WHAT the night would bring.
We repaired to the domicile of FriendOfRusty, referred to everafter as B. Plans were made to attend dinner and drunkeness was discussed. In the great tradition of male bonding, episodes of Charlie Murphies True Hollywood Stories were summoned from the depths of Tivo.
Who knew the foreshadowing that was placed.
Chapter 2: PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS OF LAKE MINNETONKA
The Prince episode was broadcast and chorteling was involved. I went to bathe myself as I was verklempt from a long day of skiing and changing tires. I arrived back downstairs to a discussion of clothes. Now please comprehend that the normal Alaskan discussion of clothes is Carhartts vs Jeans vs Camo. There IS limited room for flexibility within the Anchorage scene, however unless we were going to open up the keg of pretentiousness called rumrunners, those options were not to be explored.
HOWEVER!
Rusty emerged from the bathroom wearing what can only be described as THE MAN BLOUSE. Resplendent in its glory it shimmered as though recently off a trendy Seattlite Discotheque Dance Floor. I saw God, Jesus, and The Devil all at once as colors and twirls that entranced me permiated my brain.
We cried and wept as though confronted by something greater than we all were. "B" broke the reverie however by stating, "You know DAMN well where you got that from, and it wasn't the MEN's department"
Chapter 3: Yankees 1
Aprehension was obvious as the fate of the man blouse was to be decided then and for all. Removed it was, for all that it was worth and the generalizations came forth.
It was found that perhaps more seattle maggots had clothes and coiffures of such magnitude. I heard stories of BIG COLLARS, BRIGHT COLORS, and STRIPED BUTTON DOWN SHIRTS
THIS WILL NOT DO!
Chapter 4: The Rescue - or - How I came to love the Hoodie and save the world
We can and will save the seattle maggots from the burgeoning trend of super maggotsexuality. One hoody from each of you can and will be airlifted to the seattle/tacoma/bellingham area to be distributed amongst the men of that area. please log on to www.saveseattlemaggotsfrommanblouses.com and donate your hoody today!
Please! Only you can save a maggot.
