I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[skaredshtles]

I want to get baked first

...

[RShea]

I want to get baked first

What does a baked Beaver taste like- Chicken?

[ötzi]

I want lemon bars.

Howzabout some lemon rounds?

https://2betties.com/collections/our...s/lemon-rounds

my personal fave btw

[riser4]

...

Steve Harvey's "my man" is a cheesy step down from "my man, the way Denzel Washington says it."

[XXX-er]

What does a baked Beaver taste like- Chicken?

My buddy " The Beaver Guy " tells me beaver mae good sausage ,

If you got a Beaver problem cuz they are about to flood out your farm or a highway or a national railway just call the Beaver guy

I did a hot shot for him and he gave me a beaver guy ball cap,

every body asks me who the the beaver guy is ?

[skaredshtles]

Steve Harvey's "my man" is a cheesy step down from "my man, the way Denzel Washington says it."

...

[Buzzworthy]

Airlines now letting people text sucks.

Wife is on a 6hr flight, usually that’s 6 hours of peaceful heaven for me. Now I’m getting texts complaining about her iPad not working, annoying passengers, turbulence, and any other random complaint about flying you can imagine.





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The joys of Delta’s free WiFi as a Skycrumbs member.

[yeahman]

Airlines now letting people text sucks.

Wife is on a 6hr flight, usually that’s 6 hours of peaceful heaven for me. Now I’m getting texts complaining about her iPad not working, annoying passengers, turbulence, and any other random complaint about flying you can imagine.





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This made me curious so I checked my phone. My wife and I have exchanged seven text messages so far in the month of May. A grand total of 32 words. [emoji16]

[TahoeJ]

This made me curious so I checked my phone. My wife and I have exchanged seven text messages so far in the month of May. A grand total of 32 words. [emoji16]

Glorious. I wish I could only get that many text messages from my EX wife! [emoji23]

There’s a really funny comedy bit - I think by Bill Burr or Tom Segura but I can’t find the clip - about this topic. Talking about how guys used to go to work and not hear from their wives all day until they got home. Anyone know that one?

EDIT: it was Chris Rock. https://youtube.com/shorts/HqPgpXaQK...CIRN3owP3PBPBb

[old goat]

We needed a new silverware tray. My wife got one that's a mirror image of the old one so all the silverware is in the wrong place. I can't cope.

[XXX-er]

This last relationship was the first time we almost exclusively communicated by text on the i-phone

if its like bring some miscellaneous stuff to make dinner thats ok but there were lots of times there was miscommunication that would not have happened if somebody just called instead of text

[old goat]

One of the reasons our marriage survives is that she has an iphone and I have an android. I spend enough time as it is straightening out her computer messes. At least I can plead ignorance about her phone.

[riser4]

One of the reasons our marriage survives is that she has an iphone and I have an android. I spend enough time as it is straightening out her computer messes. At least I can plead ignorance about her phone.

Heh. Thanks for blowing my cover.

[liv2ski]

Right? I thought all men knew this.

[old goat]

Now I need to convince her she needs a Mac.

[gravitylover]

I told her how to get into my phone and Chromebook but I think it went in one ear and out the other. By the same token I have no clue how to get into her iPhone or Windows laptop but could probably figure out her passwords if it came down to it.

[DBdude]

When I lived in Durango in the 90s and read the police blotter in the paper, there were routinely descriptions of traffic stops (that ended in DUI or other crimes) that began with "didn't dim lights". :shrug:

Kind of hard to prove…

Cops being assholes - now that is a known fact


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[DBdude]

Yeah maybe in 1988... now every cop has a body cam that gets switched on at the initiation of any public interaction and/or traffic stop, every cruiser has a dash camera that would be on for the whole traffic stop, and many citizens are also rocking dash cams and/or other cameras. No way any cop gets away with that in 2024

Not every cop has video going


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[RShea]

We needed a new silverware tray. My wife got one that's a mirror image of the old one so all the silverware is in the wrong place. I can't cope.

Just turn it around in the drawer if it really bothers you that much. ;-)

[DBdude]

Ms B is from the US. Her French citizenship would have been revoked at the mere mention of using unsalted butter!


As a chemist I disagree with this (salt doesn't really dissolve in butter, it just disperses, not enough water in that mass of fat to really solubilize it).
I suggest you tell her a French chemist said she's doing it all wrong. Make sure to find adequate cover for the aftermath!

Ms Boissal just bought 3 baby car seats. Identical super fancy ones, they were on sale for the price of only 1 kidney, she had to get them. When I had the audacity to ask why we needed 3 she got annoyed. One for her car, one for my car, and one for her parents', obviously. I pointed out that we could probably move the seat between our cars and got a derisive snort back. Don't I know that these things are too heavy to swap easily, almost as bad as a bike rack? OK then, I really don't mind taking my bike rack on and off, which I don't do much anymore cause she already used the argument to get her own (more expensive and less functional) bike rack. I then suggested we try to have a dedicated baby car instead of each having our own vehicle and clinging to it. That wouldn't work either, her car is nicer than mine and there's no way she wants to drive my POS (her words, it's a 2016 Forester, in great condition) more than a couple times a year. She did mention that this policy would likely be lifted once I get a new car, especially if it's an EV. Then she'll be totally fine with swapping cars, especially if we swap once and she gets to keep the new one forever.

Since I'm a glutton for punishment I kept pushing to the logical conclusion: she wants a 2nd kid, if the car seats are on sale why didn't she just buy 6 of them and be done with it? Dark clouds gathered on the horizon. I retreated to my office and she stormed off with the dog and a friend who no doubt is going to get an earful about how much of a cheap idiot I am.

Installing a car seat correctly is a lot of work - one for each car is mandatory

Hmmm from the wisdom of your past posts I thought you had already shared your dna

I am disappointed


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[DBdude]

Oh yeah? Fact like you found a poll that asked chefs around the world that question, and 99% answered unsalted? Cause, I don't think you did. Talk about ridiculous comments.

https://www.thechoppingblock.com/blo...nsalted-butter

Nobody who cooks well uses salted butter

It’s ok to be a plebe


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[DBdude]

Its really hard to brine fish without salt

Piss on them

Works every time


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[DBdude]

I mean... reusable cloth wipes - FOR ADULTS - is kind of weird man

I’m still laughing my ass off


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[DBdude]

Buddy of mine did this to his dog. Not a puppy or senile either.... I guess just a dumb fuck dog. Bro was crushed, it was really sad.

Usually it’s on the way out of the driveway poopsie meets it’s maker

On a really morbid note I know of an instance where it happened to a kid


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[mcski]

Installing a car seat was the most infuriating, pretzel pose imaginable. No way would I be swapping car seats around if i had the option to put on in ea!