Bobby's used car lot and Free Carfax

[Jong Lafitte]

Now is the time for a Brat reboot if there ever was one. And not a 4 door truck version of the Forester either. A basic Impreza with 2 seats and the cargo bed

I want the turbo!
Braap!!!

Funny, valley Subaru in Longmont has a minty early Brat in the showroom.


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[Ted Striker]

Now is the time for a Brat reboot if there ever was one.

Agree

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

man, she played some good hot trash.

[BmillsSkier]

Yeah she did, from Joe Dirt to My Name is Earl. Always paired with a perfectly trash car too.

[Gepeto]

I want the turbo!
Braap!!!

fer those not current on their subi dislike, the XT has Balls and was easy to tweak

also, i use the adaptive cruise from 0 to 75mph every day and drive by wire a lot. From 75 to 115ish (stops pulling in 7th gear at 3300), it ain't perfect, but is da bomb in traffic. Subaru is adding a third (center) camera for 2024, and without getting into the weeds, it will make it substantially better given the additional data.

*BS was a prime example of completely selling out to materialism and came here to get stroked

[jono]

*BS was a prime example of completely selling out to materialism and came here to get stroked

He wasn't the hero we wanted, but he was the one we needed: maybe the only one who could save us from himself. The one who could embody our darkest, most widespread failings to a point of caricature so obvious it gave pause even our least self-aware. Could we really expect those wax wings to last forever?

It deserves a better historian than me, but since Bromontana and Abraham have real stuff, here goes. A tale of two Bobby's. Hopefully I didn't forget too many of the wry twists.


Once there was a thread in the PR that was created to contain Bobby's most manic rantings and distract him lest he lose a bunch of hands of online poker. By all accounts it was very successful: Bobby posted in it almost exclusively, and either won exclusively or totally forgot his losses. Some were entertained, others were blissfully ignorant.

As Bobby became wealthy and increased with goods (or he ran out of chips, this seems contested) he turned his eyes once again to other threads in the PR. But since he was still a bit manic about it and had built up a number of detractors, many denizens of the PR began juicing that thread to keep his attention focused there instead. They would argue about who skied and who didn't, whether Bobby was a fake or if it was really possible to fully embrace naked avarice without losing one's soul and turning life into a meaningless series of desperate, flaming lunges for attention. You know, like in the Real Estate thread.

Eventually Bobby offered special prices on a vehicle or two to established maggots. Only a modest surcharge. He posted selfies and asserted that he had given away so many free carfax's as to eclipse the contributions of any and all of his detractors (even the ones whose balls appeared in his selfies, outlandish as that may seem). He may have even offered a couple carfaxes as proof right there in the thread. Thus was established a dynamic stability in the PR--ever moving, but self-correcting.

But the thread wasn't safe. Its OP was given to sitting, shitting and editing and on one dark morning the thread was lost. But in those days Bobby (the other Bobby) was no fan of deletion.

Before he became the most prominent deleter in the history of le TRGs, Bobby (the other one) stood out as a most capable defender of historical accuracy. So hearing of the thread's deletion, he helpfully resurrected it. Maybe thrice. But eventually it became clear that the OP--none other than our hero himself--was clearly deleting it on purpose. In that moment a new hero arose in the body (or at least the nutsack) of cmcrawfo, who offered up this lasting location for what was, by then, a more stable (if less entertaining) continuation of the original.

This thread exists because Bobby Stainless hid from his original thread. He wasn't perfect. But for as long as he held onto a job at a dealer where he could get them for free, he (or Ashley) would pass on the carfax savings to all of maggotdom, mostly without prejudice. Mostly.

So pour one out for Bobby Stainless. Not because he's gone from TGR, for he can never be any more gone than Jamespio or pure(anti)gravity: pour one out for the man who held on and kept sending those carfaxes right to the last. Until the moment he met his fate and became an apartment manager. Probably in a mountain-less town. Thank him for his service as you reflect on your immortality thanks to all the fundamental ways in which you are not him.

[BmillsSkier]

Was the great meme-war of aught-15ish in that original thread somewhere?

[jono]

Was the great meme-war of aught-15ish in that original thread somewhere?

'18. By then it was this thread. Unfortunately Bromontane saw fit to delete his contributions.

[Timberridge]

[MontuckyFried]

fer those not current on their subi dislike, the XT has Balls and was easy to tweak

THIS XT? Always had a soft spot for these ones. Peak 80s'ness. Especially the interior.

[Danno]

Nice work jono.

[JimmyCarter]

He wasn't the hero we wanted, but he was the one we needed: maybe the only one who could save us from himself. The one who could embody our darkest, most widespread failings to a point of caricature so obvious it gave pause even our least self-aware. Could we really expect those wax wings to last forever?

It deserves a better historian than me, but since Bromontana and Abraham have real stuff, here goes. A tale of two Bobby's. Hopefully I didn't forget too many of the wry twists.


Once there was a thread in the PR that was created to contain Bobby's most manic rantings and distract him lest he lose a bunch of hands of online poker. By all accounts it was very successful: Bobby posted in it almost exclusively, and either won exclusively or totally forgot his losses. Some were entertained, others were blissfully ignorant.

As Bobby became wealthy and increased with goods (or he ran out of chips, this seems contested) he turned his eyes once again to other threads in the PR. But since he was still a bit manic about it and had built up a number of detractors, many denizens of the PR began juicing that thread to keep his attention focused there instead. They would argue about who skied and who didn't, whether Bobby was a fake or if it was really possible to fully embrace naked avarice without losing one's soul and turning life into a meaningless series of desperate, flaming lunges for attention. You know, like in the Real Estate thread.

Eventually Bobby offered special prices on a vehicle or two to established maggots. Only a modest surcharge. He posted selfies and asserted that he had given away so many free carfax's as to eclipse the contributions of any and all of his detractors (even the ones whose balls appeared in his selfies, outlandish as that may seem). He may have even offered a couple carfaxes as proof right there in the thread. Thus was established a dynamic stability in the PR--ever moving, but self-correcting.

But the thread wasn't safe. Its OP was given to sitting, shitting and editing and on one dark morning the thread was lost. But in those days Bobby (the other Bobby) was no fan of deletion.

Before he became the most prominent deleter in the history of le TRGs, Bobby (the other one) stood out as a most capable defender of historical accuracy. So hearing of the thread's deletion, he helpfully resurrected it. Maybe thrice. But eventually it became clear that the OP--none other than our hero himself--was clearly deleting it on purpose. In that moment a new hero arose in the body (or at least the nutsack) of cmcrawfo, who offered up this lasting location for what was, by then, a more stable (if less entertaining) continuation of the original.

This thread exists because Bobby Stainless hid from his original thread. He wasn't perfect. But for as long as he held onto a job at a dealer where he could get them for free, he (or Ashley) would pass on the carfax savings to all of maggotdom, mostly without prejudice. Mostly.

So pour one out for Bobby Stainless. Not because he's gone from TGR, for he can never be any more gone than Jamespio or pure(anti)gravity: pour one out for the man who held on and kept sending those carfaxes right to the last. Until the moment he met his fate and became an apartment manager. Probably in a mountain-less town. Thank him for his service as you reflect on your immortality thanks to all the fundamental ways in which you are not him.

That was a lot of self-indulgent pablum to say “TGR is full of easily butthurt individuals”

[Touring_Sedan]

THIS XT? Always had a soft spot for these ones. Peak 80s'ness. Especially the interior.

Ahem...

Seeing all the busted interior bits in the drive at the end was pretty depressing.

[plugboots]

Ahem...

Seeing all the busted interior bits in the drive at the end was pretty depressing.

I had that exact one in black. 4WD turbo XT MT. It was fun. It had pneumatic suspension that could be raised high enough to look weird, and a locking differential.

[jm2e]

don’t hurt yourself jerking off to your imaginary moral superiority.

Sig Worthy



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[MontuckyFried]

Glad to see the XT love in here, folks. Subaru slapping the "XT" name on to the new over-bloated Outback is a freaking travesty. Not quite as bad as GM's use of the Blazer and Trailblazer names, Mitsubishi using the Eclipse name, or Ford abusing the Mustang name, but almost. Haha.

[riser4]

Glad to see the XT love in here, folks. Subaru slapping the "XT" name on to the new over-bloated Outback is a freaking travesty. Not quite as bad as GM's use of the Blazer and Trailblazer names, Mitsubishi using the Eclipse name, or Ford abusing the Mustang name, but almost. Haha.

Don't just single out the Mustang on the domestic front. All of the US carmakers did it.

[skaredshtles]

Glad to see the XT love in here, folks. Subaru slapping the "XT" name on to the new over-bloated Outback is a freaking travesty.

I mean... they've done it before.

https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews...ted-road-test/

[JimmyCarter]

Don't just single out the Mustang on the domestic front. All of the US carmakers did it.

https://www.topspeed.com/gms-next-ev...amino-revival/
Electric El Camino…how bad could they fuck this up?

[schuss]

Glad to see the XT love in here, folks. Subaru slapping the "XT" name on to the new over-bloated Outback is a freaking travesty. Not quite as bad as GM's use of the Blazer and Trailblazer names, Mitsubishi using the Eclipse name, or Ford abusing the Mustang name, but almost. Haha.

I mean, it has a turbo, which is the designator for XT. Let's not pretend the older legacy/outback XTs were earth shattering.

[MontuckyFried]

I mean... they've done it before.

https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews...ted-road-test/

Ohhhh yeah. Fair point. At least that one was much closer in spirit to the OG and could be had with a proper manual transmission. MUCH smaller than the 2024 too. But still, you're right. I forgot about that one. Haha.

[simple]

I mean... they've done it before.

https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews...ted-road-test/

I was going to say it also. Best wagon ever. Mine was an Audi destroyer with Stage 2 and coilovers. Sold it for an Audi SUV which is better in every way. I just don't know what could replace it. Definitely nothing from Subaru. Probably whatever Rivian comes out with next

[MontuckyFried]

Don't just single out the Mustang on the domestic front. All of the US carmakers did it.

Yup. I find that trend super annoying. Evidently GM's talking about bringing back the Camaro as a freaking SUV too. Guz GM doesn't have enough SUVs in their portfolio.

[Timberridge]

Glad to see the XT love in here, folks. Subaru slapping the "XT" name on to the new over-bloated Outback is a freaking travesty. Not quite as bad as GM's use of the Blazer and Trailblazer names, Mitsubishi using the Eclipse name, or Ford abusing the Mustang name, but almost. Haha.

I think you're way overestimating the travesty of it. It's not like that was some iconic car like the WRX-STi.

[bennymac]

That was a lot of self-indulgent pablum to say “TGR is full of easily butthurt individuals”

We’re all easily butthurt. Act accordingly.