Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[TahoeJ]

Poop alarm? Did someone say poop alarm? No way. Oh, the possibilities.

Seems like Johnny Depp could have used one of these during his marriage to Amber Heard. [emoji23]

[SkiLyft]

You pick tulips were a hoot at 50¢ per.





Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[oldnew_guy]

Costco pack of bandaids was a good investment.

[Marshall Tucker]

yeah when we dropped the last twin off at college and came home we were like WTF, I mean, aren't we late for a practice somewhere? what do we do now? Sorta sat and stared at each other. Lasted about 2 weeks.

I don't think I could ever handle the chaos of them all being home again.

[alpinevibes]

Just chiming in to say that a monitor (Infant Optics DXR-8 for us) has been massively clutch for twins. We don't use it to helicopter the boys and they're generally pretty good sleepers, but having the ability to deal with one when they wake up/freak out is clutch. Keeps the other one asleep and/or helps them both go back to sleep quicker, but in general: allows us to do whatever around the house or outside the house that we need to do and not be as sensitive to being in earshot. We've brought it along on camping trips, on the White Rim, hut trips, yurt trips - with a battery pack - so we can hang with our friends or do our thing in the evening.

But hey, props to you sanctimonious anti-monitor champs. Seriously, props for making it happen. In our case, with twins - I'm 200% happy and lacking guilt for having had one.

Snark aside, boys and trucks/diggers/buses/machines are a lotta fun

[toast2266]

Just chiming in to say that a monitor (Infant Optics DXR-8 for us) has been massively clutch for twins.

x2 on this. Our monitor is just a cheap, audio only thing. But if they're "sleeping" and one of the twins starts firing up, it lets us get in there and head the crisis off before the other one gets angry too. Having one baby that didn't get enough nap time is a far better option than two babies that didn't get enough nap time.

[TahoeJ]

Is it me or are there more twins nowadays than say 30-50 years ago? Just an anecdotal observation that’s probably incorrect but it seems like it.

[schuss]

Is it me or are there more twins nowadays than say 30-50 years ago? Just an anecdotal observation that’s probably incorrect but it seems like it.

You're correct - https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart...des-180977243/

It's because of IVF and similar fertility treatments that make them more likely, as well as the move to having kids later in life.

[ghosthop]

anecdotally, women also have better access to nutrition, medical monitoring, and are more aware of potential complications. Multiple fetuses cause greater hormones, which are more likely to cause an adverse reaction in the mother. I know of two instances in my own family, pre-1980, where one of the twins died in utero and was a stillbirth.

[alpinevibes]

anecdotally, women also have better access to nutrition, medical monitoring, and are more aware of potential complications. Multiple fetuses cause greater hormones, which are more likely to cause an adverse reaction in the mother. I know of two instances in my own family, pre-1980, where one of the twins died in utero and was a stillbirth.

Yes; I'm a twin born in the 80s, who has twins born in 2019. Both sets were natural - though my twiness being a genetic hand-me-down] and my boys' was just random. The difference between my mom's pregnancy and the doctor's approach/knowledge for managing a twin pregnancy, compared to my wife's experience in 2019 was pretty starkly different, in a good way.

[riser4]

anecdotally, women also have better access to nutrition, medical monitoring, and are more aware of potential complications. Multiple fetuses cause greater hormones, which are more likely to cause an adverse reaction in the mother. I know of two instances in my own family, pre-1980, where one of the twins died in utero and was a stillbirth.

That initial hormone test. They told us thing#3 was going to be twins. We were completely overwhelmed and went around in a daze for a day until the ultrasound. The thought of a 4 yo, a 2 yo, and twins was putting us over the edge. As thing #3 was growing up, we would often pause and say to each other, imagine if thing #3 had been twins?!?!? He was by far our most rambunctious child. He's 17 and hasn't rented his tux yet for the prom that's in a week and a half.

[skaredshtles]

<snip> He's 17 and hasn't rented his tux yet for the prom that's in a week and a half.

Sounds like we have the same kid.

[TahoeJ]

Yes; I'm a twin born in the 80s, who has twins born in 2019. Both sets were natural - though my twiness being a genetic hand-me-down] and my boys' was just random. The difference between my mom's pregnancy and the doctor's approach/knowledge for managing a twin pregnancy, compared to my wife's experience in 2019 was pretty starkly different, in a good way.

Yeah, this is what I was thinking. I know a few people who were twins but the other died in utero - pretty common. Still common, but far less so.

[Mustonen]

Sure. I get that. Agreed with ZZZ that if you have to say it, you probably aren’t making much of an impression there. And I’m all about bringing that alpha male energy when I need to. But my threat isn’t really violence because that’s so fucking empty even if you mean it.

It’s all about commanding respect, and In my world, showing me your fucking guns or making stupid comments about your capacity for violence doesn’t command much respect.

Make no mistake, one thing that fatherhood has absolutely taught me is that there is literally nothing I would not do to protect these ungrateful assholes, but I’m smart enough to think longer than two weeks ahead and can appreciate that I can’t do much from jail. And I’m not going to threaten some empty violence upon somebody else’s fucking kid, I don’t care how horny he is.

Circling back around to here. 16yo is pushing boundaries, and doesn’t seem to understand what a “curfew” means. This last time she left, I told her I needed to meet the kids she was going with and confirmed the plan and timelines with them. Handshake. Eye contact. One of my superpowers is thriving in awkward situations. She’s fairly comfortable feeding me bullshit…. We’ll see how comfortable “Griffin” is with it.

[yeahman]

She'd probably quickly understand what "curfew" means if she lost her car privileges and her iPhone. Consequences are the only language most teenagers speak, right? My 16 yo has a boyfriend who doesn't like her curfew. I always tell her the same thing coaches tell professional athletes: nothing good happens after midnight.

[DBdude]

No, it’s not perfectly normal to leave an infant unattended in a house, even if you’re down the street. Wtf?

Oh sorry it’s inconvenient and stressful to be present as a parent right now, I need a break. No wonder the world is going to shit.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

this thread is an eye opener

no, it's not ok to leave an infant in a house alone - being close by in the yard is not leaving the child alone

we used a cheap baby monitor for when the kids napped. it was unnecessary but sometimes we could avert full scale screaming

[Mustonen]

Listen here. I wasn’t trying to resurrect the great baby monitor debate of 2022.

[Mustonen]

She'd probably quickly understand what "curfew" means if she lost her car privileges and her iPhone. Consequences are the only language most teenagers speak, right? My 16 yo has a boyfriend who doesn't like her curfew. I always tell her the same thing coaches tell professional athletes: nothing good happens after midnight.

She isn’t driving quite yet. Her mom won’t back up an iPhone grounding, so limited efficacy there.

[yeahman]

She isn’t driving quite yet. Her mom won’t back up an iPhone grounding, so limited efficacy there.

Yeah I can see how it would be very difficult to deal with discipline and consequences in a divorce situation where the parents aren't on the same page. Sucks.

[TahoeJ]

Well part of it is the phone is how they communicate with the other parent when away… so it’s not a great approach. My oldest has only had a phone for 1.5 years at this point and hasn’t done anything to warrant the discussion but would love to hear what other divorced parents with older kids might do. Sure it will come up soon enough.

[mcski]

Yeah I can see how it would be very difficult to deal with discipline and consequences in a divorce situation where the parents aren't on the same page. Sucks.

That’s my life w a teen right now - she is failing classes and shopping w impunity. Mom won’t support any significant consequences like iPhone restriction. Mainly mom can’t deal w conflict and the idea the teen won’t like her. I’m tired of being the only bad cop in town.

[DBdude]

That’s my life w a teen right now - she is failing classes and shopping w impunity. Mom won’t support any significant consequences like iPhone restriction. Mainly mom can’t deal w conflict and the idea the teen won’t like her. I’m tired of being the only bad cop in town.

whose money is she spending?

[Touring_Sedan]

I meant to post this last week, but it's still relevant.

https://www.npr.org/2019/04/24/71670...to-say-to-kids

[anotherVTskibum]

Well part of it is the phone is how they communicate with the other parent when away… so it’s not a great approach. My oldest has only had a phone for 1.5 years at this point and hasn’t done anything to warrant the discussion but would love to hear what other divorced parents with older kids might do. Sure it will come up soon enough.

Mine are years away from getting phones, but some of my friends have an older kid for whom phone use has been an ongoing issue. I don't know which package it was, but they were able to install a management package on the phone that limited access to allowed apps and allowed them to review activity. I don't know if that kind of restriction might work in your scenario, probably would depend on whether or not she uses the same apps for parental and peer communication.

Sent from my SM-G892A using TGR Forums mobile app

[DBdude]

phones have worked great for me - lol

this thread is very different from my experience with two boys and a divorce