Very sad new. My condolences. Thank you for the post.
Tomorrow is the three year anniversary of an incident where I lost a very good friend of mine. Similar (but different) circumstances, beacon failure, Airbag failed to deploy.
You are not alone with your internal struggle Re: is it worth it. It's been hard getting back on the horse. But, My perspective, mentality and risk assessments have changed (for the better) since then. Our group has really grown out of the tragedy, and we have tried to apply our lessons learned, and those of others, into our daily practice... I don't know what I would do without skiing, without the adventures, bonds, relationships, and stoke it has generated for me over the years. It's hard to reconcile how something so awesome can deliver something so brutal. You will eventually find a balance that's right for you. Much love.
"Its not the arrow, its the Indian" - M.Pinto
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