Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**turboLT** · 02-15-2011, 12:09 PM

At squaw: "I just heard from a girl on the chairlift. This is 'dust on crust' and 'sierra cement.' Hilarious! Where do they think of these things?"

**BrianH** · 02-15-2011, 05:45 PM

"You effing eff, you effing need to learn how to do this sport in control!!!"

That was me.

I revel in my gaperness.

**Diamond Joe** · 02-15-2011, 05:48 PM

^^ you know, you can swear on this site

**old goat** · 02-15-2011, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Garth Bimble

Not necessarily. I saw two guys in a lift line over the weekend with GP's facing backwards on their helmets. Wouldn't that be the opposite of narcissistic?

Not skiing related but definitely gaper--tech challenged friend of mine tried to videotape (it was a while back) her daughter's high school graduation with the wrong end of the camera. But she was cool . . . she told me about it. In exchange for which I showed her how to find out what web sites her husband looks at.

**MJbumper1121** · 02-15-2011, 06:46 PM

My favorite are the peeps filming their radness on their flip phones.

My other favorite are those who show up to the local watering hole wearing their ski gear at 8pm, goggles and all.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-15-2011, 06:46 PM

Thanks previous posters. I don't normally watch ski movies, but I started watching GNAR and it's awesome. I think I'm gonna have to try some of those lines. Maybe something like "You're a pro? I'm so much better than you. I'll race you to the mogul storage shed!" Stupidity aside, I found that movie very inspiring and got totally stoked.

One really cold weekend, this younger girl asked if it was possible to get frostbite through ski boots. Snowbowl is an intimate mountain, so you can't be mean and I told you can, and I have...multiple times. What I was thinking was "No, anatomy and the laws of thermodynamics cease to exist in ski boots."
I had some choice lines in my head for the German chick I last rode the lift with recently.

**fluxrad** · 02-15-2011, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by MJbumper1121

My favorite are the peeps filming their radness on their flip phones.

Yeah, people who film their leisure-time activities for later viewing are total JONGs. Anywhoo....

e: GNAR is fun for watching.

**jrbd** · 02-15-2011, 07:24 PM

Extra GNAR points for saying "I'm the best skier on the mountain" into somebody's running GoPro.

**pappag** · 02-15-2011, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by jrbd

Extra GNAR points for saying "I'm the best skier on the mountain" into somebody's running GoPro.

I'll take your challenge and up it to shouting that line as loud as possible during a live TV broadcast. Yep, it's now been done.

**MJbumper1121** · 02-15-2011, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by fluxrad

Yeah, people who film their leisure-time activities for later viewing are total JONGs.

On flip phones, yes. That 15 secs of blurriness does suck.

**bptempleton** · 02-15-2011, 08:02 PM

Not a quote and performed by me: Yesterday afternoon it was pissing sleet/graupel/snow most places at Baker. I arrived at the base of chair 8 thoroughly exhausted, and unbuckled my boots to give my weeping feetsies a little break. Fortunately, it was just my friend and I and the liftie, no lift line at all. Anyways, I hop on the chair and absentmindedly drag my skis for a few seconds. Both my tips immediately dug into some chunky, super sticky snow and I did half a front flip onto my head about 4 feet off the ground. I was fine but relieved that I had been fortunate to exhibit my gaperdom sans crowd of onlookers.

**gramboh** · 02-16-2011, 12:53 PM

Couple from the last week at Whistler:

1) At Base II on Blackcomb:

Guy (picking up his girl's 155cm rental skis): "These things are heavy"
Girl: "Fuck yeah they are"
Guy: "They have to make em that way because of fat people renting them!"

2) First ride up Peak chair on Sunday, some guy skiing switch through a mellow patch under the lift (why you would pick that as your first line is beyond me), random guy on chair in front of us with heavy sarcasm:

"You are so artistic!"

**nogophers** · 02-16-2011, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by bptempleton

Not a quote and performed by me: Yesterday afternoon it was pissing sleet/graupel/snow most places at Baker. I arrived at the base of chair 8 thoroughly exhausted, and unbuckled my boots to give my weeping feetsies a little break. Fortunately, it was just my friend and I and the liftie, no lift line at all. Anyways, I hop on the chair and absentmindedly drag my skis for a few seconds. Both my tips immediately dug into some chunky, super sticky snow and I did half a front flip onto my head about 4 feet off the ground. I was fine but relieved that I had been fortunate to exhibit my gaperdom sans crowd of onlookers.

This is exactly what the GoPro was intended for!

**teuchter** · 02-16-2011, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by bptempleton

Not a quote and performed by me: Yesterday afternoon it was pissing sleet/graupel/snow most places at Baker. I arrived at the base of chair 8 thoroughly exhausted, and unbuckled my boots to give my weeping feetsies a little break. Fortunately, it was just my friend and I and the liftie, no lift line at all. Anyways, I hop on the chair and absentmindedly drag my skis for a few seconds. Both my tips immediately dug into some chunky, super sticky snow and I did half a front flip onto my head about 4 feet off the ground. I was fine but relieved that I had been fortunate to exhibit my gaperdom sans crowd of onlookers.

Yeah well, I wasn't so lucky, there was an audience. They'd already stopped the lift for the party behind us who jumped the gun and fell on our chair. Then we get in and I was fucking with my pack instead of paying attention to my tips. I wish I had a video though of the boarder in the chair with me making spastic movements with his arms when i was getting pulled out. I got one ski back but when the other one released I just said fuck it and jumped as I was already mostly out of the chair, just made sure to align perpendicular to the slope...guess it would have been an even better laugh not to and have finished the whole thing by sliding into the lifties on one ski...

**old goat** · 02-16-2011, 07:21 PM

I can't top that but today I did manage to a) put both powder cords on the same ski and b) fall over standing still on level ground. In fairness to me it was in a whiteout. Fortunately I was wearing a helmet,.

**creaky fossil** · 02-16-2011, 07:41 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

Snowbowl is an intimate mountain, so you can't be mean....

You should try telling that to all the dorks who have moved here in the past 5 years and act like they run the place... while gaping with their GoPros and standing at Griz Chair line, blocking the line, holding their $1200 skis that they got from YuppieDoucheBackcountryRacksandSkis with Dynafit FT12s and Titans and carbon whippet poles and most expensive softshell clothing known to man, talking on their cell phones about "business" etc. They rock. Especially when doing 5mph wedgie zig-zags down ND DH or the Griz Outrun.

**f2f** · 02-16-2011, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

I can't top that but today I did manage to a) put both powder cords on the same ski and b) fall over standing still on level ground. In fairness to me it was in a whiteout. Fortunately I was wearing a helmet,.

you misspelled "snowblades"

**Imz** · 02-16-2011, 07:45 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

I can't top that but today I did manage to a) put both powder cords on the same ski and b) fall over standing still on level ground. In fairness to me it was in a whiteout. Fortunately I was wearing a helmet,.

Getting the powder cords oriented properly wouldn't have made a difference; just having them is pretty gapertastic (grin)

**TurxSki** · 02-17-2011, 05:42 PM

^^^
(repeat) yeah...right...standing around for hours digging in the snow is so core...I mean, why would you want to actually ski in that fresh snow?
(but tuck them up inside your pantlegs, out of sight. It's not using them, but having them streaming behind you that is Gaperish.)

You would rather risk fucking up your leg by cranking down on your binders? Yeah, that is sensible...
Anyway, why do you care about what people think?
If you're using your Powder Ribbons you're skiing freshies, in a storm, ferchrisakes!

Good on ya OldGoat!

**old goat** · 02-17-2011, 06:36 PM

The cords aren't to find my skis when I release. They keep me from releasing--actually they keep me from falling--it's mojo. Saw a lot of people digging at Squaw today. And I don't mind being teased about them--they're the least gaper thing about me.

Guy in the KT line today wearing some contraption called CAD's or something--supposed to spare your quads. Another guy asks him what they are and he says "The smart ass answer is a fly rod. The real answer is look at the web site." Finally he breaks down and tells the guy what they are. If you're gonna wear something that gaper you gotta be ready to explain yourself it seems to me.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-17-2011, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by creaky fossil

You should try telling that to all the dorks who have moved here in the past 5 years and act like they run the place... while gaping with their GoPros and standing at Griz Chair line, blocking the line, holding their $1200 skis that they got from YuppieDoucheBackcountryRacksandSkis with Dynafit FT12s and Titans and carbon whippet poles and most expensive softshell clothing known to man, talking on their cell phones about "business" etc. They rock. Especially when doing 5mph wedgie zig-zags down ND DH or the Griz Outrun.

LOL, I hope you don't mean me, cause it ain't. I'm to broke to be a poseur

. And don't rag on mtskier's shop.
Oh boy, Presidents' Weekend. I figure that could go either way. Even with all the snow, I need to head outta town. I'll just spend some time with the bro in the country.

**powtario** · 02-17-2011, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

The cords aren't to find my skis when I release. They keep me from releasing--actually they keep me from falling--it's mojo. Saw a lot of people digging at Squaw today. And I don't mind being teased about them--they're the least gaper thing about me.

Guy in the KT line today wearing some contraption called CAD's or something--supposed to spare your quads. Another guy asks him what they are and he says "The smart ass answer is a fly rod. The real answer is look at the web site." Finally he breaks down and tells the guy what they are. If you're gonna wear something that gaper you gotta be ready to explain yourself it seems to me.

I asked an older guy at Fernie wearing the CADS thing a month ago and he was actually super stoked on them. He has a shot knee, bone on bone, and had to stop skiing 5 years ago because of the pain. Now he rips 100 days a year with no pain. Normally I would take that with a grain of salt except this guy ripped down 800 vert without stopping in craptastic conditions.

Gaper move on my part, not checking my dins at the start of the year. Sorry bout the cackle....

[TGRVIDEO]1500584[/TGRVIDEO]

**karpiel** · 02-17-2011, 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

If you're gonna wear something that gaper you gotta be ready to explain yourself it seems to me.

I use OTG goggles with a fan, felt gaperish at first, lots ask what the thing (battery pack) is on the strap, but most think it's pretty neat when I tell them.

**creaky fossil** · 02-17-2011, 11:44 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

And don't rag on mtskier's shop.

Why? Yuppie Trustafarians need love too? They don't get everything they need from their money stash?

**wes473** · 02-18-2011, 12:59 AM

Originally Posted by farmer

^^ Naked pics of the mom or GTFO, JONG!

Alright first off you cunt muscle, you are no farmer, in fact you insult the term just by being canadian why dont you play a game of hid and go fuck yourself.
Yes you do have a class credit for backcountry skiing woo...

I get paid to ski.