Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**bushman** · 02-01-2011, 10:31 AM

Ridin the lift at the local ice bump with a older couple. After brushing the snow off their "Vail Sports" stickers on their skis she asks me how I like those real fat skis, I'm ridin Super Bros. I say "nice day eh".

**HD333** · 02-01-2011, 12:52 PM

3 guys in fartbags at the top deciding which run to take " you don't want to take that trail it is wicked ungroomed"

**time2clmb** · 02-01-2011, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

I heard a great story from a maggot and i'll try to keep it short.

buddy had always wanted to try a particular brand skis ( I can't remember which brand)
His wife buys a pair of said skis. one day he asks her if he can ride said skis at the hill that day as she was at work.
Wife says ... "I don't think i'm ready for that yet"
Now that just confirms she is a catch !!!

Fixed it for you

**MJbumper1121** · 02-01-2011, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by mrburns

"ski swap" scenario.

This past weekend at Alta my buddy was 5 minutes from losing his personal S3's due to some old French gaper who didn't bother to pay attention to what skis he brought to his car at the end of the day. Luckily, we found the skis with the crew of old frenchies as they were taking off their gear (super lucky!). The communication barrier made the whole scene quite comical, as my buddy was flipping out telling them they had the wrong skis while using a few choice words. Finally the frenchies figured out that the skis they had rented didn't come with the "national ski patrol" sticker that was on my buddies skis and decided to go back to where they had left their pair. If we wouldn't have found them his skis would have been long gone... yikes!

**knumbskull** · 02-01-2011, 04:55 PM

I once had a pair of horrifically bent poles taken from the ski rack and a pair of less bent poles of similar length/color left behind. I always figured someone took pity on my comically bent poles and left me something better in their place but I am beginning to think i was a victim (winner in my case) of the gaper swap.

**mtaylor** · 02-01-2011, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by Huckin eh?

So we are sitting eating dinner at the Mad Trapper in Golden tonight and Sentinel says:
"Is this the only Bar in Golden???"

Even Mags can be Gapers too!

"There's a guy named Sven who hammers a magnetic post into the ice, and the ice floes move around, so magnetic north moves!"

**wes473** · 02-01-2011, 08:37 PM

Im a ski coach at the local mountain. I basically have six kids follow me around the mountain down glorified blues for half the day. Last saturday I was on the lift with a couple of my kids and talked about how great skiing was the day before in fresh powder. Then i asked them what kind of skiing they like to do (powder, jumps, going fast etc). I got the response of:

"My mommy says powder is bad"

i didnt know what to say at the time, but now we are workn on skiing the "bad" powder and liking it!

**farmer** · 02-02-2011, 08:36 AM

^^ Naked pics of the mom or GTFO, JONG!

**eblackwelder** · 02-03-2011, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by wes473

"My mommy says powder is bad"

i didnt know what to say at the time, but now we are workn on skiing the "bad" powder and liking it!

I say go with what the mom says. You should teach all your students that POWDER = BAD. That way there's more freshies for us. Not only that, but you will get a better tip from the mom (maybe even some milf action) if you agree with her.

Repeat after me class: "powder is bad".

**old goat** · 02-03-2011, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by HD333

3 guys in fartbags at the top deciding which run to take " you don't want to take that trail it is wicked ungroomed"

If they were up at Tahoe after the ice storm a few weeks ago maybe not gapers.

Originally Posted by wes473

Im a ski coach at the local mountain. I basically have six kids follow me around the mountain down glorified blues for half the day. Last saturday I was on the lift with a couple of my kids and talked about how great skiing was the day before in fresh powder. Then i asked them what kind of skiing they like to do (powder, jumps, going fast etc). I got the response of:

"My mommy says powder is bad"

i didnt know what to say at the time, but now we are workn on skiing the "bad" powder and liking it!

Maybe Mom is a coke addict in recovery?

**bornincolorado** · 02-03-2011, 04:28 PM

I put my tele skis on the wrong feet last time for a few runs, someone in the line gave me the heads up, didn't even notice the massive duck stance.

me + tele = gaper

**seel25** · 02-03-2011, 05:15 PM

I was telling my gaper friend about my trip to Alta/Snowbird and how I lucked out and got dumped on with 30+ inches during the trip. He interrupts me with his two cents "Yeaaaa I cant wait to go to UT their snow gets so compacted so it's so easy to ski on"

then again, my binding failed me on that trip and pre-released sending one of my skis to its demise under all the pow in east greeley never to be found again...so who's the real gaper :/

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-03-2011, 06:32 PM

trying/gets it/novice != gaper

that shit happens.

**TurxSki** · 02-03-2011, 07:42 PM

(Rant Blog)

Originally Posted by seel25

...got dumped on with 30+ inches during the trip...then again, my binding failed me on that trip and pre-released sending one of my skis to its demise under all the pow...never to be found again...

Your bindings failed? Really? Pre-release? Really? Maybe it was working just fine.

Cos, you know, many, many peeps lose their ski's in fresh snow. Which brings me to my point:
You could have been saved by some *Gaper Gear*

Powder Ribbons!
They are Very Useful.
Wasting a whole afternoon, standing on the slope, getting cold, digging around in vain for an expensive ski.
Not useful. At. All.

But, well, you obviously care what others might be saying about you, right?

I personally could give a shit what people think of me for having ribbons shoved up inside my pant legs.
I just had half a dozen spectacular runs in untracked snow, while you were wallowing around like a dick looking for that ski.
Oh, sorry, wallowing around like a true OG Core Bro...

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-04-2011, 05:13 PM

Someone side slipped their board down the bottom of the Griz lift. If you're gonna poach a permanent closure, don't do it like a fucktard.

**farmer** · 02-04-2011, 06:12 PM

Got my first Backcountry skiing class tomorrow (yes, I am going to get credit to go skiing. To be fair, every other class I have this semester is an engineerding class, or one directly related to my major (mining))

Out of 12, I think maybe 3 of us have actually been in the BC before, and other than the instructor, I'm the only one with any real avy training. Should be some good quotes come sunday.

**jipstyle** · 02-04-2011, 06:41 PM

You're in an "engineering" program that offers credit courses in backcountry skiing and you have the balls to mock other people? That's pretty fantastic.

As someone just a couple of posts up noted .. people who are learning aren't gapers. They're trying.

**stoepstyle** · 02-04-2011, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by jipstyle

You're in an "engineering" program that offers credit courses in backcountry skiing and you have the balls to mock other people? That's pretty fantastic.

As someone just a couple of posts up noted .. people who are learning aren't gapers. They're trying.

QFT

I fucking wish my engineering program had BC skiing credit classes

**f2f** · 02-12-2011, 12:21 AM

Colorado strikes again:

"The latter part of this week I had to be in Calgary for a business meeting. I had one extra day to ski, Thursday. But I had to be back in Calgary for a 6:30 PM meeting, so the only place within range was Sunshine. To make my one day of Canada skiing happen, I paid $100 extra baggage fee each way for my skis. I rented a 4WD SUV ($500), absolutely necessary given the crappy job they do on maintaining the Trans-Canada Highway, rather than just taking a cab from the airport. I bought the extra insurance ($50) but still had to pay the deductible ($500) to replace the windshield which cracked when hit by the gravel they use on the Highway rather than just plowing aggressively like we do in Colorado. I bought a tank of gas ($100). I paid for a lift ticket ($75), the $20 rebate being of no use to me whatsoever. Total bill for my one day of Canada skiing, $1425."

**mtaylor** · 02-12-2011, 12:44 AM

Today at work: (I'm a rental rat)

An older british couple is picking up rental skis, and I have them filling out the form.

Brit: (to wife) "Do you think I'm a type 2 or 3 skier?"

Wife: "I'm not sure... but I think we will be shedding the gnar."

I thanked her for making my day.

**thisisastickup** · 02-12-2011, 04:33 AM

snapped my tibia first run at alta on wednesday, luckily I had the run on film via my gopro. I've been showing it to people regardless of whether they ask or not, mainly because I'm still amazed that such a disgusting noise came from my own body and I feel the need to share. Anyway, the line I took before I broke the leg was like this: drop from traverse, hit small 10-15 footer, stomp it, and my leg freakishly breaks as I'm riding away and hit a bump wrong.

More than once, I've been told that if I hadn't accidentally skied off that cliff, that my leg wouldn't be broken, and that I shouldn't have been in an out-of-bounds area, especially on a day where the groomers were obviously so nice. The fall happened in ballroom at Alta. Yeah, people in my family are gapers.

**farmer** · 02-12-2011, 08:27 AM

^^post up the vid!

Originally Posted by jipstyle

You're in an "engineering" program that offers credit courses in backcountry skiing and you have the balls to mock other people? That's pretty fantastic.

As someone just a couple of posts up noted .. people who are learning aren't gapers. They're trying.

Balls of fucking steel. If you want, I can come teabag you after I'm done fucking your mother, sister and girlfriend tomorrow night, you worthless cumguzzling JONG.

And yes, I'm in an "engineering" program at a school that also has a college of technology, with a bunch of BS classes like that. Fuck it, if I can get credit to go ski I'll sure as hell go for it. If you could handle the other 21 credits I've got this semester that I might give a fuck what you say. In the mean time, remember why your sister isn't quite walking right in the morning.

**old goat** · 02-12-2011, 09:25 AM

Reading in an old skiing mag about Alpine Meadows--D8 is 45 degrees, Keyhole is 55, Gentian is OB (and be sure to check avy conditions before going there), and the Ice Bar is the place to go for happy hour (maybe I'm missing out on something there). Oh and the snow is "dense powdery" whatever that is.

**TwinTipTele** · 02-12-2011, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by farmer

^^post up the vid!

Balls of fucking steel. If you want, I can come teabag you after I'm done fucking your mother, sister and girlfriend tomorrow night, you worthless cumguzzling JONG.

And yes, I'm in an "engineering" program at a school that also has a college of technology, with a bunch of BS classes like that. Fuck it, if I can get credit to go ski I'll sure as hell go for it. If you could handle the other 21 credits I've got this semester that I might give a fuck what you say. In the mean time, remember why your sister isn't quite walking right in the morning.

That's pretty classic. I too was fortunate enough to take a class in college that required I ski at least 12 different resorts on the East Coast my junior year. Pretty fun - it was a good excuse to go places I'd never go otherwise.

The link to the video thisisastickup is talking about is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atIb7ozivKM . It's funny, I had watched the video 10 or 12 times and never saw the drop at the beginning until he just mentioned it. Definitely strange to watch someone break their leg while riding straight through wide open terrain.

-TTT

**masterofgreenbeans** · 02-12-2011, 10:13 AM

In lift line at Mammoth yesterday and a lady skis up to lifty and frantically says " I need an emergency vehicle right now for my son" liftie is immediately concerned and asks is he hurt? Lady says no but he's having a meltdown!!!! Coddled little bastard.