Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[powfiend]

Was maching out of a side country lap at alpine meadows on a basically flat trail to avoid having to skate/boot it to the road when I came upon a x-country skiier out on a nice afternoon skate on a fresh powderday(lame). So i did what any sensible boarder trying to to loose momentum would do, came up on his tail dipped into the fresh for just enough time to get passed and cut back into the trail infront of said xcountry gaper. He started yelling at me for cutting in close, so i pulled off to a neer by hi point to talk shit, told him that he was in the way of a backcountry exit and to go to royal gorge if he wanted to x country. He passed me as i was cursing him, puffed up and attempted to turn around to come back at me with some sort of rebuttle. I think he must of forgotten he was on skinny ass skis with no edges, b/c as soon as he shifted the body weight for the turn around he ate it hard, skis in opposite directions, face plant in the pow, polls all over the place. Classic yard sale topped of by a big ol spray as i blew past him with a shit eating grin all the way back to the road...

BTW I know im an asshole so you dont have to let me know it

[Lelandjt]

Old guy in front of me in the single's line of the base area chair had one boot sideways/barely in the heel binding (off to the inside). I tapped his ankle with my pole and said, "Hey, you might want to fix that before you get on the chair so it doesn't fall off."
He turned and looked at me with a pissed off expression, looked down at the outside of his leg, not seeing that his boot wasn't fully in, and snapped, "That's the way it is."
I said, "Yup, that's the way it is."

[Singel]

Was maching out of a side country lap at alpine meadows on a basically flat trail to avoid having to skate/boot it to the road when I came upon a x-country skiier out on a nice afternoon skate on a fresh powderday(lame). So i did what any sensible boarder trying to to loose momentum would do, came up on his tail dipped into the fresh for just enough time to get passed and cut back into the trail infront of said xcountry gaper. He started yelling at me for cutting in close, so i pulled off to a neer by hi point to talk shit, told him that he was in the way of a backcountry exit and to go to royal gorge if he wanted to x country. He passed me as i was cursing him, puffed up and attempted to turn around to with some sort of rebuttle. I think he must of forgotten he was on skinny ass skis with no edges, b/c as soon as he shifted the body weight for the turn around he ate it hard, skis in opposite directions, head in the pow, polls all over the place. Classic yard sale topped of by a big ol spray as i blew past him with a shit eating grin all the way back to the road...

BTW I know im an asshole so you dont have to let me know it

You're also a douchebag, like 98% of the other people who have posted stories in this thread.

Still pretty entertaining though - kind of like a train wreck.

[badbluto]

If you're looking for a reason to call someone asshole, you should pick something better than this.

Good thing F16 pilots landing on an aircraft carrier in the dark aren't allowed to speak or they would totally fuck up and crash.
.

Just for the record, F-16's do not land on aircraft carriers, day or night. F-16's are flown by girly man Air Force pilots who land on 12,000' runways. Navy pilots, who land on aircraft carriers fly F-18's...just saying!

[bushman]

Just for the record, F-16's do not land on aircraft carriers, day or night. F-16's are flown by girly man Air Force pilots who land on 12,000' runways. Navy pilots, who land on aircraft carriers fly F-18's...just saying!

The NAVY does fly the F-16 N in the aggressor role smart guy.

[buckethead]

i arrived at mad river glen saturday walking across the road with my usual quiver of 3 pairs, tunes playing.
of course crankey older dude standing around looks at me about to say something so i remove the earbuds out of respect: "3 skis" he says.
"good counting" under my breath and i remind myself why i shouldn't bother to remove the earbuds in these situations.

waiting in line for my ticket, i see the guy again, and notice that he's got A TON of lift tickets on his bibs.
me: "that's a lot of tickets...and you thought i had a lot of skis"
c.o.d. "well most of these are from here"
me: "ah, how was sugarloaf?"
c.o.d. "don't remember, that one's about three years old"

if he wasn't such an easy mark i would have said something along the lines of: "wow, those things must be RIPE...and it's about to hit 80 today!"

it actually hit 85F...and i bet they were beyond RIPE!

[RockBoy]

I'm sure we have all heard this one before:

"Bar Down!"

Only after it has hit your head, crushed your elbow, pinned your legs, or hit you in the nuts. This happened a lot last weekend.

[QuikR12]

Either the maggots have stopped paying attention or gapers have ceased to exist, because this thread is now the suck.

Its where the gapers come to post their quote of the weekend.

[badbluto]

The NAVY does fly the F-16 N in the aggressor role smart guy.

I know this well as I flew it as an aggressor, just making the point that its not flown by the Navy on and off of carriers.

[bendtheski]

Overheard two guys asking each other about what kind of machine makes moguls...the third time this year I've overheard this...how fucking hard is it to understand that they are plastic bumps that are stored away during the summer?!

Some mountains actually use a snow cat to make mogul courses. Probably not what these guys were talking about. The stackable plastic bumps are way more durable tho'!

[BigLeagueBrian]

bumper sticker on 128 this morning,

"im a road hog, your wife's a pig"

[bendtheski]

A lady points at Ambush (the competition mogul run that is very viewable from the Winter Park base) and asks me "Is that some kind of terrain park?"

A mogul course is a terrain park of sorts, no?
I think the main difference is you have to pull your pants up over your ass to enter a mogul terrain park. Otherwise you won't be able to straddle the bumps!

[DeathByStultz]

[Downbound Train]

Either the maggots have stopped paying attention or gapers have ceased to exist, because this thread is now the suck.

Hard to believe but this thread may actually prove that there is a finite number of origonal things a gaper can do or say.

[mawree]

This is second-hand, but:

Gaper to patroller with avalanche dog: "Those dogs sense avalanches, right?"
Patroller: "um..."
Gaper: "Don't they sense the barometric pressure change?"
Patroller: "No... they smell bodies buried in the snow."

[butterscotch]

This is second-hand, but:

Gaper to patroller with avalanche dog: "Those dogs sense avalanches, right?"
Patroller: "um..."
Gaper: "Don't they sense the barometric pressure change?"
Patroller: "No... they smell bodies buried in the snow."

...and that's why I keep checking this thread.

[hartzejr]

Scene: Alyeska, Chair 6 line, busy day, everyone bustling for position.

20something guy was trying to get through the singles line to the main queue. I'm nice and let him between me and guy in front of me to access the main queue. He gets moving through and a patroller comes bustling from the opposite side of me. Then there was a scene of confusion for a few moments as the patroller finagles his way through before the kid. Both get through and....
-------
Kid (in a semi-hushed manner): It would've been a lot easier if I just went first.

Patroller (blatantly): Yea, but I'm an asshole!
--------------

No real gaper quote here I suppose. Just funny shit.

[NSOutWest]

So I got the water skis remark today. I was on 92mm Volkl Bridges.

[powfiend]

Good one!! the best part about this one for me was that the ticket checker is my buddy and also a gaper of sorts, so its a double wammy!

[Meadow Skipper]

Hard to believe but this thread may actually prove that there is a finite number of origonal things a gaper can do or say.

Okay, here's one that impressed me - it's second hand but from a trusted source here in New Mexico. My trusted source was recently working his way back from a day of bc skiing when he ran into a girl he knew who was hiking on the trail. He works on the local patrol so she told him that her father was going skiing the next day and asked them if the ski area was going to be making snow that night. My trusted source was completely baffled because El Niño has been kicking ass down here and we've got an assload of snow, so he asked her why would they be making snow. "So there's powder!" she replied.

[DeathByStultz]

Some guy(~50 years old with children): "Do you think I'd die if I fell off the lift right now?"
Me: "Well, considering we're only about 15 ft. up..."
Some guy(interrupting): "I can't wait until I'm reincarnated after the apocalypse, it's going to be wonderful."
Me: silence...
Some guy: "I just hope that i'm on jesus's list of the truly faithful. I think I am. I think I've been pretty faithful... I don't know. I guess there's no way to really know"
Some guy: 5 more minutes of nonsense about being reincarnated blah blah blah.

holy shit! what the hell kind of religion did this guy get himself into? he's going to be pretty disappointed when he dies and founds out that god is a flying spaghetti monster

[Slaag Master]

gaper - hey my ski area closed for the season

[Skirotica]

The NAVY does fly the F-16 N in the aggressor role smart guy.

NNNNNNNo they don't. The F-16 is an EXCLUSIVELY air force platform. The Navy flies the F/A-18B-D Hornets and Superhornet (e.g., F/A-18E/F).

The F/A-18A was a disaster. Boeing, in its infinite fooldom, built it with landing gear incapable of handling the hard landings on an aircraft carrier. The B model came out later with better landing gear.

There are deep-seated political issues and jockeying for position among the different branches. Traditionally, Air Force and Navy rivalries prevent any sharing of aircraft platforms. Plenty of exceptions, though they go with different variations (F-35 is an example of same platform with variations for the different missions).

No US Navy pilot has ever landed an F-16 Eagle on an Aircraft Carrier.

[Edgnar]

Its the F-16 Fighting Falcon, and the F-15 Eagle, or the F-15E Strike Eagle.

You are right though, neither is capable of landing on a carrier. Or intended to land on a carrier for that matter.

The navy may have a handful of F-16s to fly at the Top Gun school, but it is not a plane that could be considered a naval aircraft.

Can we stop cunting up the thread now?

[bushman]

You two noobs obviously know more about aircraft than I, after 20 + years in the Phantom and Viper I heed to your vast wisdom.