Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**capitalJ** · 02-04-2010, 02:40 AM

This is a compilation of quotes from the last few weeks from a guy at school who keeps telling me how much he wants to ski the backcountry.

"It would be really cool to push the limits in the backcountry, I mean with the avalanches and everything."

"I could probably just rent a beacon at REI couldn't I?"

"I always thought it would be fun to ride an avalanche right as its cracking"

and finally the best of all

"Wait, the avalanche shovel isn't to dig yourself out?"

**Snowvols** · 02-04-2010, 10:50 AM

I always enjoy the people who wear paintball masks while skiing/snowboarding

**PedroDelfuego** · 02-04-2010, 11:27 AM

+ 1 for retarded monkey!

Great imagery!
Made my day!

**dumpy** · 02-04-2010, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by Snowvols

I always enjoy the people who wear paintball masks while skiing/snowboarding

For realsies?? You've seen this?? That has to be the most gaperific thing I've ever heard of. Pics damn't!!

Rollerblading monkey story isn't really gaperific, just awesome. I needed that laugh today.

gunit130 · 02-04-2010, 11:36 AM

"Do you post on TGR Forums?"

**kadeater** · 02-04-2010, 11:51 AM

Not too recent but my all time favorite.

While riding up the JP lift at Snowbasin. Three kids below the lift are snowplowing up to a OB gate. They all stop and the last kid in the group yells out "sick fresh powder! Step aside bitches" and proceeds to snowplow through the gate.

**Snowvols** · 02-04-2010, 12:40 PM

Yea if I can make it to the local hill again this year I will try to snap a picture. It is awesome when you see someone rocking a paintball mask and goggles

**Vino** · 02-04-2010, 12:49 PM

On top of Peak 7 I pulled out a full Nalgene of water and started drinking. A guy asks me "watch'a drinkin?" Being a smart ass I reply "vodka". He produces a plastic bottle with red shit in it and proudly proclaims "me too!"

What made this exchange exceptionally hilarious was this guy was wearing fucking HOCKEY PANTS.

**Loon** · 02-04-2010, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by telemike

"I'm looking pretty good, don't you think?" - the other says "watching you ski is like watching a retarded monkey rollerblade on a gravel road" - I almost fell off the chair laughing

Thank you, I think this may be my new signature

**old goat** · 02-04-2010, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Vino

On top of Peak 7 I pulled out a full Nalgene of water and started drinking. A guy asks me "watch'a drinkin?" Being a smart ass I reply "vodka". He produces a plastic bottle with red shit in it and proudly proclaims "me too!"

What made this exchange exceptionally hilarious was this guy was wearing fucking HOCKEY PANTS.

Don't knock hockey pants. excellent padding if you fall on your ass alot, especially in the parking lot. And if the guy is drinking vodka all day he problem needs the pants.

**narc** · 02-04-2010, 03:11 PM

I'm not sure if it is just euroland, but wtf is it with the dutch and skiing in superhero outfits? It can be -20C and dumping and these guys will still be rocking batman and superman outfits faceplanting in the pow.

Originally Posted by Vino

What made this exchange exceptionally hilarious was this guy was wearing fucking HOCKEY PANTS.

That is classic. The closest I've seen in snowboarders with foam mats attached to the arses with bungee cord.

**QuikR12** · 02-04-2010, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by ;2735040

working the other day I ride up a chair with a couple of little kids, maybe 8-9 years old - one kid says to the other "I'm looking pretty good, don't you think?" - the other says "watching you ski is like watching a retarded monkey rollerblade on a gravel road" - I almost fell off the chair laughing

Who is this mini-maggot? Clearly he belongs.

**skiATL** · 02-05-2010, 01:16 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

For realsies?? You've seen this?? That has to be the most gaperific thing I've ever heard of. Pics damn't!!

Rollerblading monkey story isn't really gaperific, just awesome. I needed that laugh today.

I saw someone with lab goggles on. Worst part is he was from my school, ga tech...(facepalm, and which, by the way, someone stabbed a professort with a samouri sword today).

Last weekend I saw racketball glasses/goggles being used for ski goggles...

**baron** · 02-05-2010, 10:04 AM

A little late ,but 2 wks ago ; 5 visitors were comparing rock marks on their skis.............at collins entrance....DURING THE 7 FT STORM CYCLE !

**Magic Carpet** · 02-05-2010, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by telemike

working the other day I ride up a chair with a couple of little kids, maybe 8-9 years old - one kid says to the other "I'm looking pretty good, don't you think?" - the other says "watching you ski is like watching a retarded monkey rollerblade on a gravel road" - I almost fell off the chair laughing

What's the kid's TGR handle?

**skiingsamurai** · 02-05-2010, 11:59 AM

this monday I was getting my intuitions remolded at the local shop (failed miserably by the way)

Me: These boots are nearly shot. Could you bring out some 26's of some of your freeride boots, not race, not park, but more big mountain boots
Bootfitter: ok
he brings out some old man's 85 flex gaper boots in a 28.
BF: these should fit you
Me: huh? theyre too big and soft. I said real boots.
BF: everyone is going to these pitse cruiser boots now, way more comfortable

If my feet wernt already in my boots cooling, I would have ran like hell

**wheels** · 02-08-2010, 01:50 PM

Not a quote and I tried to take a pic but a phone at night doesn't take pics for shit. Now I have seen it all...

Gaper outfit of the season - Blue jeans snow blades and poles.

**dumpy** · 02-08-2010, 02:06 PM

Not a quote from a gaper, but one made in reference to a sea of them (tons of gaudy fur hats over the weekend) and the one proverbial straw, a late 40s woman, heavy makeup, looked like she didn't ski standing near the base lodge at Greek Peak:

The Incredibly Awesome and very vocal Mrs. Dumpy: "People will skin just about anything to make a hat these days, what the fuck ever happened to fleece?"

I'm pretty sure Mrs. Over the Hill Jersey Shore heard her loud and clear.

**whyturn** · 02-08-2010, 02:30 PM

At lift ticket window.
Guy asks where to stick the ticket (they did not grab wickets)
His buddy says, c'mon man its simple, anywhere it wont get wet, just press it on your pants real good, geez don't be stupid

**TransplantedFromRMNP** · 02-08-2010, 04:27 PM

Skiing into the maze area of Outback Express @ Keystone. Scrubbing some speed and entering the liftline w/ my friend I spot a gaper in full camo entering beside us. We pizza to a stop, the gaper gets clotheslined by the maze rope, goes flat on his back, and almost slides into the bottom lift shack. Trying not to fall over laughing, I ask "Are you ok?"
He replies "Y'all are lookin bored, just tryin to give some comedy relief."
Funny funny shit. Lifties weren't too thrilled w/ him. During all this they had a grandpa trying to shuffle out of the guest-pit after a miss-load and bail off the chairlift.

**hartzejr** · 02-08-2010, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by capitalJ

"I could probably just rent a beacon at REI couldn't I?"

I was at REI the other day walking past the shop counter and heard this exchange

Shop Guy: Well, which kind of skis would you like, classic or skate?
Lady: Do you have backcountry skis? We're going to Hatcher's pass this weekend!

**SKIBUMM** · 02-08-2010, 04:53 PM

Was riding up collins with a guy in a helmet and no goggles or glasses and he turns and starts to say this is his 4th trip here and this time is so great because it is not a blizzard today. I tell him I wish it was a blizzard everyday and he proceeds to say "yea the snow is good but you just can't see when it is like that". I just say good point and turn away in disgust.

**powbear** · 02-08-2010, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by telemike

working the other day I ride up a chair with a couple of little kids, maybe 8-9 years old - one kid says to the other "I'm looking pretty good, don't you think?" - the other says "watching you ski is like watching a retarded monkey rollerblade on a gravel road" - I almost fell off the chair laughing

That's hilarious telemike!! ( stole some of it for my sig)

**1215fuzz** · 02-08-2010, 09:09 PM

Not a true gaper .. but funny quote.

The other night after skiing with my wife and two kids... my daughter the darling little 4 year old princess dressed in pink... leading the family up the steps through a group of teenage girls.... turns to her big brother (8) right behind her and says...

" Sorry about the BIG FART Noah !! "

I swear the teenage girls almost fell down the stairs laughing as they couldn't believe what they just heard ... as well as us.