Pt 2

[irul&ublo]

shmerham
Confirmed Addict

Registered: Feb 2004
Location:
Posts: 67
Why didn't Superman save JFK Jr?

















Cuz he's in a farking wheelchair.



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04-02-2004 07:31 PM



Honc
Cube Jockey

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: White room @ 49th & 8th
Posts: 495
Why do Italians wear gold chains?


















So they know where to stop shaving.


__________________
NERDS!!!!!



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04-02-2004 07:47 PM



Telenater
Come and get it...

Registered: May 2002
Location: The bus driver's seat.
Posts: 678
In yesterday's spirit...

Poor little Johnny had been blind from birth. One night,
before he went to bed, his mother told him that the next day
was very special. She told him that if he prayed very hard
to god, he'd be able to see when he woke up. Johnny was
very excited and prayed very hard for two hours.
The next morning, Johnny's mum came into his room. She
smiled at her son and said. "Wake up Johnny. Open your
eyes and all of your prayers will be answered!"
Johnny opened his eyes and started screaming. "Mother!
mother! I still can't see!"
"I know darling." said his mother. "April Fool!"


__________________
Mors aurem vellens, "vivite" ait "venio."
--Vergil



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04-02-2004 07:55 PM



CaddyDaddy77
Lackey

Registered: Oct 2003
Location: Hunter Thompson described it as hell.
Posts: 1272
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."


__________________
Skiing, where my mind is even if my body isn't.



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04-02-2004 07:55 PM



CaddyDaddy77
Lackey

Registered: Oct 2003
Location: Hunter Thompson described it as hell.
Posts: 1272
While were on little Johnny
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


__________________
Skiing, where my mind is even if my body isn't.



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04-02-2004 07:58 PM



Duder
Confirmed Slayer

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 41
How do you get a White trash chick to suck your dick??
















Put Ranch on it....



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04-02-2004 08:19 PM



Mr. Tasteless
Minion

Registered: Apr 2004
Location:
Posts: 1
You want tasteless?
What's the best part about having sex with a 4 year old?

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Their little hands make your cock look fucking huge!


__________________
- got wood?



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04-02-2004 08:24 PM



altachic
Taken

Registered: Oct 2003
Location: slc
Posts: 639
^^^^that was lame. Way to kill a funny thread.


__________________
I feel comfortable hauling ass.



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04-02-2004 08:26 PM



schussfahrt
Confirmed Addict

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Secret.
Posts: 31
..........and the best part about having sex with twentyeight year olds?
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There's 20 of them.


__________________
If a man speaks in the woods, and no woman is there to hear him.....is he still wrong?



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04-02-2004 08:27 PM



Telenater
Come and get it...

Registered: May 2002
Location: The bus driver's seat.
Posts: 678
In honor of next Wednesday (National Tartan day...)

One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to
Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander
steps into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot four
and built like a brick shithouse. He has a huge red beard and despite
the wind, mist and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his
kilt and a tweed shirt.
At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is absolutely
gorgeous, she's slim, shapely, with a fair complexion. A real heart stopper.
The car driver's attention is dragged from the girl when the
highlander opens his car door and drags him from the seat onto the road.
Right, yew" he shouts, "I want yew to masturbate",
"but…," stammers the driver,
"Now..., or I'll bloody kill yew"
So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and
starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this only
takes a few seconds.
"Right" says the highlander "Do it again!"
"but…," says the driver.
"Now!" yelled the irate highlander.
So the driver does it again.
"Right, do it again!" demands the highlander.
This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in both
arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind, he
collapsed in a sweating gibbering heap on the ground, unable to walk.
"Do it again!" says the highlander.
"I just can't anymore, you'll just have to kill me," whimpers the man.
The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside.
"Aie right laddie" he says, "Now yew can gimme daughter a lift to Inverness".


__________________
Mors aurem vellens, "vivite" ait "venio."
--Vergil



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04-02-2004 08:30 PM



Buster Highmen
Addled Convict

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Carnation, WA
Posts: 1146
A little boy sat on an airplane with his parents. As the plane started to take off, the little boy was visibly tense and clutched the armrests.

His mother leaned over and asked him if he was all right.
The little boy responded:
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when do we start getting smaller?


__________________
Adjoint functors arise everywhere.



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04-02-2004 08:59 PM



gincognito
Disillusioned Porpoise

Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 544
What has nine arms and sucks?
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Def Leppard.

Sick and ashamed and happy (and, okay, okay, I'll admit it: They Rock (but the joke still makes me laugh)),
d.



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04-02-2004 09:08 PM



Honc
Cube Jockey

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: White room @ 49th & 8th
Posts: 495

quote:
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Originally posted by gincognito
What has nine arms and sucks?
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Def Leppard.

Sick and ashamed and happy (and, okay, okay, I'll admit it: They Rock (but the joke still makes me laugh)),
d.
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Joke of the day.

What's the worst part about screwing a chick with a shaved verchina?





















Getting blood on your clownsuit.






Please forward all future inquiries to Hell.


__________________
NERDS!!!!!



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04-02-2004 09:16 PM



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[irul&ublo]

all i could find