Portland Maggots: A Drunkening.

[bio-smear]

2.5 words:

Saran-wrap diaper.

Then I can say "I can clearly see you're nuts."

I'll arrive with my ship's helm stuffed part way into my pants.

[Odin]

And now for the jongs out there:

A GUIDE TO FINDING A MAGGOT:

Step 1: Enter Establishment

Step 2: Leave Establishment and convince yourself that only nerds meet people off the internet

Step 3: Re-enter the Establishment upon realizing that you have nothing better to do tonight save for playing world of warcraft alone and beating off to a copy of the white album playing backwards.

Step 4: Look around for a group of 2 or 3 other guys who are all looking around for guys who are looking around.

Step 5: Awkwardly acknowledge internet nerd presence with appropriate greet as determined by your level of confidence - STRONG confidence = "change for a nickel" Medium confidence - "Are you guys maggots" Low confidence - "You guys see any internet nerds around here?"

Step 6: Exchange pleasantries and attempt to not spend the entire evening talking about the board.

Step 6a: If pleasantries are exchange and then it is noticed that it is a group of hairy 45 year old men in leather, first exchange change for a nickel slang, and then leave "eagle" realizing that you are at the wrong bar

Step 6b: Stay at "eagle" and glean free drinks, then leaving claiming to bring back your liberated friends

Step 7: Stay and drink with said maggots, resulting in gunder level pasta puking on sidwalk.

[Platinum Pete]

Ok, so far we have (as my schedule is ok with this now)

Wednesday, 7:00? or earlier?

at.......

Amnesia

or

Fire on the Mountain

What say the p-town mags.

The weather looks nice so I say we take advantage of the outdoor seating at Amnesia. Fire on the Mountain is fine with me, but seating can be cramped and I like the outdoors better.

[bio-smear]

Step 5: Awkwardly acknowledge internet nerd presence with appropriate greet as determined by your level of confidence - STRONG confidence = "change for a nickel" Medium confidence - "Are you guys maggots" Low confidence - "You guys see any internet nerds around here?"

I like your style. I will add that the boldest move of all is to simply walk into the bar and announce to the whole room that you need change for a nickel.

Never underestimate the power of the ambiguous male-to-male winking head nod.

[natty dread]

If I don't pick up an OT shift Wed (which is highly probable, since I was off for 7 weeks with the knee and 10 days at burning man and am way behind on OT) I will see you guys at amnesia--great call on the location, love that place. The smell of brats in the air is intoxicating even before you start drinking!

[Odin]

OK, So this has been decided then. Sorry ptavv, you better load up on wings prior.

Amnesia, At 7:00 or before Tomorrow, Wednesday September 5th in the year of Gnish 2007.

Address of Amnesia is:

832 N Beech St, Portland, OR

[bio-smear]

Somebody should get there early and camp out at a table for us...cuz if it's good weather we'll be standing around at 7pm. Maybe I will roll early...

[Odin]

Just so everyone knows, biosmear looks exactly like this



and will have theme music surrounding him at all times.

[extreeski]

I was gonna say that Friday I couldn't make it cause I have a date with a hot cougar/milf I met at Stevie Wonder. But alas, thanks guys for changing it. Don't wanna cramp my already bleak lovelife.

Whether or not you'll be at Fire on the Mountain, I will for a bunch of their amazing wings. Will be at Amnesia round 7.

[Odin]

Those showing up at Fire on the Mountain without prior permission will be subject to rage calls and possibly triples cement mixers and tabasco margaritas without so much as the courtesy of a reach around.

Unless both you and ptavv show up wearing identical franks red hot mustaches and bibs.

[extreeski]

How about an Otto's Delicatessen T-shirt?

[Heather]

Step 4: Look around for a group of 2 or 3 other guys who are all looking around for guys who are looking around.

This jong will be the chick looking for the guys looking for guys who are looking around.

Worse case - I will be the chick at the bar tossing plastic army guys into the ceiling fans taking no prisoners, getting my drink on!

[bio-smear]

tossing plastic army guys into the ceiling fans taking no prisoners, getting my drink on!

Just don't hog all the brats. Oh man my mouth's already watering.

[ptavv]

there's a girl coming?

fuck now i need to find the muzzle for bio-smear

[bio-smear]

there's a girl coming?

fuck now i need to find the muzzle for bio-smear

I bringing the Smearette. She'll run interference if I get the licking urge.

I am practicing for tomorrow as I type this:


That floaty stuff is ice crystals.

[tonghands]

I'm gunna make an effort to be there but it's prolly 50/50 whether it happens or not.

[Odin]

I bringing the Smearette. She'll run interference if I get the licking urge.

.

When PTAVV shows up in a skirt and a wig I won't ask questions.

[extreeski]

tmi

12345

[bio-smear]

tmi

12345

If that's TMI, I suggest you bring your earmuffs.

[Odin]

earmuffs.

FUCK SHIT PISS COCK

[extreeski]

If that's TMI, I suggest you bring your earmuffs.

I was joking.

[bio-smear]

I was made to feel uncomfortably aroused at the thought of ptavv in hose.

That's a natural and acceptable response.

[Odin]

Lederhosen or Fishnet?

I guess we will see!

[extreeski]

Excellent Cut and Paste techniques. Bravo.

[ptavv]

The last time I wore a skirt it took the promise of $20 (which I never received) and the promise of free beer (which I did receive). During one night wearing a skirt I think I was de-skirtted no less than sixty times (I was running about one deskirtting per 12 minutes I think).

It was a silver miniskirt, so I guess I can't really blame them.\

Important note: This did not occur on Halloween.