WWMD: Cheez-Its

**BmillsSkier** · 09-04-2012, 10:32 AM

Between Cheez-its and Goldfish my life has been one long addict's tale of empty calories, glorious salt, and orange fingertips.

Must resist...

**WrongWay** · 09-04-2012, 10:57 AM

My daughter turned me on to to Cheez-its this weekend. They are addictive. Not Thin Mints addictive but close.

**From_the_NEK** · 09-04-2012, 11:07 AM

Well, I prefer Cheese Nips over Cheese-Its.

I'm pretty sure I have almost made myself sick eating a freshly opened box of them. Had to stop eating when I could no longer feel my lips or tongue.

**SorryBro** · 09-04-2012, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by From_the_NEK

Well, I prefer Cheese Nips over Cheese-Its.

Go straight to hell.

I ate an entire box of the Jalapeno Cheez-Its while watching the first half of a soccer match at home once (50 minutes). Those delicious snacks plus 2 beers was too much for my girly stomach. Blew chunks shortly after. If you think they are hot going down, coming up is WAY worse.

**GoldMember** · 09-04-2012, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by commonlaw

Ok GoldMember, when are you doing this thing?

Jesus, I forgot all about this whole thing...FROM FIVE YEARS AGO! I can't even believe I stumbled onto this thread. I haven't had a Cheez-its in forever but, I have devoured countless bags of Chili-Cheese Fritos in that time. I'll have to give this some serious thought and planning.

**stompinlines** · 09-04-2012, 07:41 PM

Dude, its been five years.
Get after it already.

**4matic** · 09-04-2012, 08:06 PM

Big Cheez-its are cheesier than regular sized. Anyone else notice that?

**Art Shirk** · 09-04-2012, 08:06 PM

I was reminded of this thread as I just got back from a road trip. For some reason, I bought a box of Chicken In a Biscuit. What the fuck is this shit, seriously? Chicken? In a Biscuit? In a cracker? So horrible and so good. I ate the entire box on the last 4 hour leg. Not blazing speed, just slow consistent nibbling. I can't say I felt worse than the box of Cheez-its, but can say that I will never eat another (piece of??) Chicken in a Biscuit. The maloder just stays with you.

If you like Cheese Nips more than Cheeze-Its, there is something medically wrong with your brain.

And I do expect a TR from GoldMember. As Sorry Bro stated, these things creep on you. Insidious little bastards.

**Flyoverland Captive** · 09-04-2012, 08:24 PM

Chicken in a Biscuit slathered in aerosol cheese is the most brilliant yet disgusting food imaginable. So fucking gross, yet before you know it your drunk ass has consumed a whole box/can and you're still hungry. Now that's crack.

**GoldMember** · 11-12-2012, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by commonlaw

I was reminded of this thread as I just got back from a road trip. For some reason, I bought a box of Chicken In a Biscuit. What the fuck is this shit, seriously? Chicken? In a Biscuit? In a cracker? So horrible and so good. I ate the entire box on the last 4 hour leg. Not blazing speed, just slow consistent nibbling. I can't say I felt worse than the box of Cheez-its, but can say that I will never eat another (piece of??) Chicken in a Biscuit. The maloder just stays with you.

If you like Cheese Nips more than Cheeze-Its, there is something medically wrong with your brain.

And I do expect a TR from GoldMember. As Sorry Bro stated, these things creep on you. Insidious little bastards.

Well, I didn't follow up on this thread with a TR but had some Cheez-its this weekend at a party. There is no f'ing way I'm going to try and eat a box of these. I surrender. Those things SUCK! I can't remember anything that, once in your mouth, dehydrates you so badly. It's like the more of them you eat, the less you weigh due to fluid loss. Fortunately, I was able to make up the loss with copious beer. When I say they suck, I mean it literally.

So, commonlaw, ridicule me at your leisure as there is no way I'll do this. Chili-Cheese Fritos for the win.

**The Suit** · 11-12-2012, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by GoldMember

It's like the more of them you eat, the less you weigh

Although I think that's a temporary effect, maybe you could make a fortune promoting the Cheez-it diet.

**GoldMember** · 11-12-2012, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by The Suit

Although I think that's a temporary effect, maybe you could make a fortune promoting the Cheez-it diet.

hmmm.... Might be something to this for school wrestling teams who are trying to make weight. Eat a box an hour before your match to lose a pound or two. Of course, puking on your opponent is considered by some to be bad form.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 11-13-2012, 05:53 PM

I refuse to eat anything that leaves shit on my fingers.

**Tye 1on** · 11-13-2012, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

I refuse to eat anything that leaves shit on my fingers.

guess that leaves buttered popcorn and nachos outa the running then...

**iceman** · 11-13-2012, 08:27 PM

...not to mention dogshit.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 11-14-2012, 09:42 AM

"buttered" popcorn is pretty much out.
Nachos aren't if they're good nachos like the super nachos from the El Caz cart at 12:30 on a Thursday when the drunchies start to kick in. They are piled high with meat and veggies and other shit. Not exactly a cheez-it.
And yes, I can have the drunchies by 12:30; I'm fucking hungry all the time.

**Chainsaw_Willie** · 11-14-2012, 10:20 AM

Like the gastronomic effects of consuming an entire box of Chicken in a Biscuit, this thread has unusual staying power.

Originally Posted by commonlaw

I was reminded of this thread as I just got back from a road trip. For some reason, I bought a box of Chicken In a Biscuit. What the fuck is this shit, seriously? Chicken? In a Biscuit? In a cracker? So horrible and so good. I ate the entire box on the last 4 hour leg. Not blazing speed, just slow consistent nibbling. I can't say I felt worse than the box of Cheez-its, but can say that I will never eat another (piece of??) Chicken in a Biscuit. The maloder just stays with you.

I feel your pain. Used to love those things when I was a teenager and could eat anything. Fondly remembering my youthful excesses, I bought a box and, unable to resist their greasy, salty allure, consumed the entire thing. Like you, I vow to never again buy a box of Chicken in a Biscuit. Not only did my tummy feel funny for a damned long time afterwards, the next day's constitutional was excessively messy.

Cheez Its however, are still on the menu.

**BmillsSkier** · 10-23-2015, 07:21 PM

Please someone help me. Costco had the 3lb boxes of Cheez-It's on sale for some absurd price like $4.99 a couple of weeks ago. My wife asked if I wanted some. I tried to stay strong and came up with some line of bullshit like, "I don't need any more salt in my diet". She saw right through that shit and said that if I didn't buy em now I'd only end up buying $5 normal sized boxes from the grocery when I got the craving and that I should just bite the bullet.

This made instant economic sense to me so I naturally bought two. That's 6lbs of Cheez-Its. Now I haven't been paying too much attention but I'm somehow a box and a 1/3rd down in this past month. It's like I sit down at the end of the day, have a couple-eight beers, watch sports and slowly consume pounds of salted 'cheese' crackers.

I always knew my wife would find a way to be rid of me, I didn't think hypertension was her angle though. Props honey, for playing the long game.

**iceman** · 10-23-2015, 07:29 PM

Well you may die, but with all the preservatives in those things at least you'll have a good-looking corpse.

**shroom** · 10-23-2015, 07:30 PM

death by America

**BmillsSkier** · 10-23-2015, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Well you may die, but with all the preservatives in those things at least you'll have a good-looking corpse.

I'm worried that there may be an unnatural orange hue to my skin, but it may save money in the end with less makeup for the mortician to apply.

**Game Over** · 10-23-2015, 07:44 PM

You guys ever get the puffed green pea fries in a bag at Costco? Along with that jalapeños yogurt dip,?? Holy fucking stomach ache.

**BmillsSkier** · 10-23-2015, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by steepconcrete

You guys ever get the puffed green pea fries in a bag at Costco? Along with that jalapeños yogurt dip,?? Holy fucking stomach ache.

That sounds like a bowel movement adventure.

I will say that I took 5-7 samples of the Chicago style popcorn on my last trip with no shame. Followed up by samples of prosciutto, smoked gouda, and crab dip. Now that was a bad decision.

**Art Shirk** · 10-23-2015, 08:42 PM

Bmills, if you finish that biz in a sitting, your relationship with Cheez Its will change forever. It's a whole new level of unwanted intimacy.

Just watch this next time you have an urge.