Uh Oh - WWMD

**teambigdave** · 08-16-2007, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by altagirl

Yup. Tell your wife. The other party? That's their problem.

x10000000000000000

it will all go pear shaped if you don't

**PlayHarder** · 08-16-2007, 02:14 PM

[QUOTE=Nick Pappagiorgio;1391508]I bet you tell your wife and she segues into "Ohhhh...I've been meaning to tell you something as well. Remember that Christmas party last year?" ... [QUOTE]

Well, she was hitting on me then and I wasn't as strong as you were.

**flatNshallow** · 08-16-2007, 02:19 PM

^^ works better if you don't screw up the quote!

**Steven S. Dallas** · 08-16-2007, 02:21 PM

As long as the witnesses saw you turn her away then I don't think you have to worry about any leaks. You might want to go ahead and kill those people, though, just to be safe.

You know your wife. You know how she'll react if you tell her now, later, or not at all. If 15 people clearly saw me turn down unwanted advances from an obviously hammered woman then I wouldn't worry about it, especially 1. if this woman was someone my girl knows and is likely to run into often and 2. if I didn't think this was going to be an ongoing problem- but that's because Ms. Dallas is a fairly cool customer when it comes to shit like that. YMMV, as they say, given the lady and the exact details of the situation.

I agree that, if you do mention it, couch it in the "you won't believe it, but..." and then finish up with "poor Dave, his wife is such a tramp." If she was, or has been, pawing at anyone else then I'd throw that in too, to make it seem less like she's interested in you personally and more like she just wants the cock.

**Art Shirk** · 08-16-2007, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by altagirl

But seriously - we're talking about a conscious decision not to disclose it.

I think to be safe, you guys are spot on. I seriously have a mental lapse when it comes to sharing stories, anecdotes, facts about my day though, and it has become purely unconscious, even if the story would usually be deemed "material." I don't know how many times I have said to my girlfriend, "Oh, that reminds me of what happened a month ago when....," and then she says, "Why didn't you tell me that before?? That is so interesting/disgusting/etc." She is starting to get used to it I think.

**Tuckerman** · 08-16-2007, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by commonlaw

She is starting to get used to it I think.

You are on the right path man. And I like the new grill.

**Buzzworthy** · 08-16-2007, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by altagirl

But seriously - we're talking about a conscious decision not to disclose it.

Yep, tell the wife what happened. Not like you did anything wrong.

I got my junk grabbed and thrown into the wall by this chick AT WORK a ways back. I was so stunned I simply did not want anyone to see, sexual harrassment came to mind. I pulled away and later told my wife what happened that day.

Her response: I bet you enjoyed that didn't you, smiled and walked away.
(And the mention of what a skank she thought this chick was)

You hold it in, you are hiding something. Not so smart when married.

**Lonnie** · 08-16-2007, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by altagirl

It should certainly be told as an "amusing anecdote", and there should be no guilt involved. But seriously - we're talking about a conscious decision not to disclose it. It's not like he forgot to mention it. And IMO, that means he should tell her. It would go from an amusing anecdote to an ugly situation if she hears about it from someone else and then has to wonder why he didn't mention it.

Nailed it.

**The AD** · 08-16-2007, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

I got my junk grabbed and thrown into the wall by this chick AT WORK a ways back.

We're just happy the reattachment surgery went well, Buzz!

**Steepdeepnlong** · 08-16-2007, 02:44 PM

This thread is useless without pics.

**Howie Feltersnatch** · 08-16-2007, 02:44 PM

Thanks for the input ya'll.

How old are you and how long have you been married?

I'm 34 and my wife is 32, and we have been married for 8 years. As mentioned, I'm going to tell my wife to let her hear it from me. My wife is level headed and not a jealous person. Knowing her well, I think she'll be cool about it in regards to how I handled it. If the shoe was on the other foot, I'd think I'd like to know and she'll appreciate me telling her.

Another wrinkle is the perp-woman is a casual friend of my wife which makes things difficult and puts that friendship into play. I know my wife might be miffed or feeling possibly betrayed by her, but I think to keep my marrige strong and sound its best to play the "you are not gonna belive what happened" card, play it off, and let her handle it the way she wants.

Hopefully, my wife will say "what a drunk bitch....lets go get tacos."

I just don't want this to get ugly...

**Yossarian** · 08-16-2007, 02:48 PM

Sorry, I'm still hoping she'll say, "what a crazy chick, next time bring her home with you!" so you can post an all time TR.

**snowsprite** · 08-16-2007, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by flatNshallow

My thought is: tell her and outine your dilema regarding wether or not you should tell you buddy... ask HER what she thinks you should do...

You will not only disclose the event and therefore avoid the "what are you hiding" trap; you will have involved her and she will become a party to the issue and its no longer your problem, it becomes "our" problem...

I really like your advice here flatNshallow. This is the way my parents would have handled it. They had a really great marriage, and I think the number one reason why is that they mostly took a team approach to things & looked at stuff as "our problem."

Sprite

**LongLegsInAlaska** · 08-16-2007, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by Howie Feltersnatch

As mentioned, I'm going to tell my wife to let her hear it from me. My wife is level headed and not a jealous person. . .

Your wife is not jealous? Maybe. But competitive? YES. We women are very competitive in regards to men. Don't be surprised if your sex life gets knocked up a peg or two after you tell her.

**Howie Feltersnatch** · 08-16-2007, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Yossarian

Sorry, I'm still hoping she'll say, "what a crazy chick, next time bring her home with you!" so you can post an all time TR.

If my wife was down I'd get pics and video.

**Woodlandclown** · 08-16-2007, 03:17 PM

i still think dont tell. if my husband were in this sitch and told me about it, i would be pissed at the woman and woudlnt want to hang out with her again. it is going to create a crazy dynamic if you see them frequently. its easy to say your wife isnt jealous, but i tend to think most women are, even if they appear not to be. I think its best to say nothing and if someone else should happen to tell her, then just say she was drunk and you blew her off (figuratively), end of story--you didnt want to make a big deal out of it.

maybe this chick really was out of her mind drunk and she isnt getting any at home. she would probably be embarrassed about it if she could remember. best to just let it die.

**train07** · 08-16-2007, 04:38 PM

never mind, wasn't that funny anyway

**Art Shirk** · 08-16-2007, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Tuckerman

You are on the right path man. And I like the new grill.

Now I just need to work on her separation anxiety. And yep, I needed a new grill to pick up some extra dime pieces

**valleygirl** · 08-16-2007, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by train07

you need to go to all 15 people and say "if you guys say anything, I'll kick your ass"

actually that would be asses.. why has no one thought of this?

SEE what happens when you name a kid Francis??? Tee hee.

I go with the casual "can you believe that?" mention... having been a wife, that's how I'd take it best...

my $.02

**train07** · 08-16-2007, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by valleygirl

SEE what happens when you name a kid Francis??? Tee hee.

I go with the casual "can you believe that?" mention... having been a wife, that's how I'd take it best...

my $.02

damn girl, I was so close to a clean getaway

**valleygirl** · 08-16-2007, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by train07

damn girl, I was so close to a clean getaway

no such THING!!!!! someone's always onto you...

at least in THIS town...

**yentna** · 08-16-2007, 05:39 PM

From the female perspective, tell her. Go for the "you'll never believe this" angle" for sure, but def tell her. I'd hate to hear something like that from someone else, 'cause even with how well you handled it, I'd still wonder why you hid it. Can't help it, it's my female mind. Aargh, damn female mind!

**RootSkier** · 08-16-2007, 08:37 PM

This has me thinking of shit to make up so I can share it with my wife and then have crazy sex. (scratches head)

**MeatPuppet** · 08-16-2007, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by Howie Feltersnatch

Do I tell my wife?
Do I tell my friend his wife was grabbing my junk and talking dirty to me?

Yup! Without a doubt. Tell your wife and ask her what her opinion is on how to deal with this mess.(unless you have cheated on her in the past and she is now the very jealous type that doesn't trust you, in which case you are screwed and you should keep your mouth shut and avoid this other person in the future.)

Not only will this give you another perspective on the whole mess, it'll also help insulate you against any trouble this other person might cause in the future. You and your wife are a "team" right? Facing life together and all that other shit, right?

p.s. I'm not married and never have been. If you want to take a non married persons advice on how to preserve your marriage, then, knock yourself out bro, you've been warned.

p.p.s. FWIW, I haven't read any of the other replies yet.

**BigJay** · 08-16-2007, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by MeatPuppet

Yup! Without a doubt. Tell your wife and ask her what her opinion is on how to deal with this mess.(unless you have cheated on her in the past and she is now the very jealous type that doesn't trust you, in which case you are screwed and you should keep your mouth shut and avoid this other person in the future.)

Not only will this give you another perspective on the whole mess, it'll also help insulate you against any trouble this other person might cause in the future. You and your wife are a "team" right? Facing life together and all that other shit, right?

p.s. I'm not married and never have been. If you want to take a non married persons advice on how to preserve your marriage, then, knock yourself out bro, you've been warned.

p.p.s. FWIW, I haven't read any of the other replies yet.

Probably should have read some of the other posts because one of the firsts was pretty much the same as this one.