Gorilla Cheats Death in Rogers Pass

[splat]

Whoa.......just got an email from Gorilla, who impaled himself ona stump in the Rogers Pass b/c when his sluff knocked him over a ledge. Check this shit out from his writing...

... Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, I got a two inch hole in my abdominal wall and there is a chunk of intestines hanging out. Talk about your hernia ! I secure it as best I can using my long underwear to hold it all in ( yeah, that didn't work). I decide not to tell her what I find.

She arrive back by my side and I get a lick and a kiss from...the dog. " On y va." I follow her tracks in the fresh snow. At every twenty paces or so I have to stop and gather myself. The first section is flat traversing, I can handle that fine. My right leg only moves about one quater of it's range and I can't lift it off the snow. All I can do is glide it along kinda like a limp leg.
The second section is a not so steep downhill. I have to put pressure on my bad leg and I have no control. I use my good leg to steer. Every bump provoque a braveheart-when-he-gets-tortured-at-the-end type pain. Mighty looks at me and smiles, a kind, loving, peaceful smile, the kind of smile that will get you to walk 3km out of the woods with your intestines hanging out.

I'm at the one step at a time pace, not knowing when I gonna pass out for good. We keep going till we get to the mine field. All I can think about is this is gonna hurt. Mighty leads the way finding the smouthest path. At this point when I rest on my ski poles I pass out. I loose touch for a second and have to slap my ass back to reality. How I would like to just lay there and roll into a warm sleep.

So we make it one steep closer to the road and we can hear th cars and trucks. One more push and we there. Breaks are shorter and we move fast. The last crawl is up the snow bank to the rollo onto the road.

What was it and hour and a half till the ambulance got there. No one wanted to transport us to town. Mighty was fighting hard, but to no avail. I was left on my hands and knee in the slush on the side of the highway in the wet snow for a little while till she braught me a sleeping pad, covered me with a sleeping bag and a bivy sac. I was cold, very cold. Some rangers get there and decide they wanna move me into a truck. They try and move me but I start puking from the pain. I tell ya puking when your avbs are ripped ( in a literal meaning) and your intestines are hanging out. The pain of the puking makes me puke even more. I have to make myself stop...

Still at this point no one knows that my intestines are out of my stomack and in my long underwear.

The ambulance finaly gets there and they load me up. Revelstoke only town where the ambulance attendants wear avalanche transievers, I found that kinda cool. Inside they ask me what happened again. Talking is reduced to a whisper and it hurts. You use your abs a lot when you talk. I tell them exactly what I know. They cut my pants and underwear fully exposing my abdomen and jowls for that matter. She was kinda cute the ambulance attendant and I was laying there naked with my bowls and bawls exposed, gezz what a first expression.

The ski out extended my cut to six inches and I had a foot of intestines hanging out.

Heal up, Gorilla. You did good. Helluva gnarly tale!

[splat]

I went back to his letter and saw that it was actually Cougar Pass in Revelstoke.

Cougars.....they always leave a gash.